Hi there,

Thanks for responding....since I posted this originally I have been to the pyschiatrist three times, She switched me to lunesta and that did  not work to well and this last time she gave me Trazadone...that stuff was horrible.  I am back to taking ambien to sleep I see her again this month and will see what my other options are, she upped my zolft so hopefully that will help with the anxienty.  I am still taking about 1 - 2 mgs of xanax each day sometimes to sleep and sometimes just to get through the day.

As for the addictions...it is all sorts of stuff for me, if it is not men then its shopping or eating. 
I have been working with someone and  came to realize that after my surgery I was on a high for a long time,  when it wore off I went searching for something else to give me that kind of a high and I found that attention from men was a great drug,...for a while just like any drug then it becomes problematic.  I am tyring a different route this time, I am taking yoga which really helps, and in addition to the shrink and therapist I am seeing a alternative healer I really think it is  helping.

I hope that you are able to get past your legal troubles without jail it is probably a good thing that you are in NA it is always great to have a support system, do you have a sponser yet? 

I will keep you in my prayers for divine order in your life.

Take care, God Bless you

OMG, I'm so glad that I found you all and this board.  I'm going on 5yrs. out of having my surgery. Want to have plastic but that probably won't happen.

Anyway, I totally relate to the drug addiction and i'm glad your getting help before to late.  Because I let mine go to far, it started out with tussinex cough syrup for sinus infection, well it got to the point that I couldn't live without it.  I then went to get Lortabs and would switch back and forth .  Well I got caught forging a prescription and I'm on 1 yr. probation and 100 hrs. community service.  Well if that isn't  enough, I didn't learn my lesson and was still getting pills, well I lied on my cs hours and have to go back to court and I pray that I won't have jail time.

Please, please anyone that is hooked go to your PCP and tell them, I finally came clean with my husband, who has been wonderful, he went to the dr. with me and I'm on the Suboxone now, I knew if I didn't do something i was going to wind up in jail or dead, the levels of that in my system were so high that they told me I could have died in my sleep.

I'm doing the 12 step Nar. program, but do it without having to, its part of my probation. 

I'm so proud of you because you have openly admitted that you  have a problem and that is the FIRST step toward help and your husband is there for you.  The addiction is all there together, I'm bi-polar also so I have ran up 2 credit cards and have a loan, all to fund my habit and my husband has stuck by me, so where yours is  sex mine is money, its all the same.

Anyway I just wanted to let those out there know that it happens and I'm glad to be on a board with people that know this happens and offers support.  I want to offer it to any that needs it and tell you that the suboxine is working, slowly but surely, i have 2 beautiful children and I don't want to leave them now. 

You know it sucks here we had the surgery so that we could live a healty life and here we get addicted.  I hate it, but I know together we can overcome this and grow stronger.

I'm putting my faith in God and have faith that he will help me with this and I pray that I won't get jail time for violation of probation, my prayers are with you and lets stay in touch.

God Bless,
Mitz

I have decided that I have to go.  I was waiting to go with a friend who has been thru the program but now drinking just as much as me.  I can't wait.  I need to go now.  I will post tomorrow night to tell ya all what I thought.  I'm scared as hell.  But know that I have to make the first step. 

Today my shakes weren't as bad....as they were after drinking vodka.  But I did drink today.  People have noticed my shakes.  We'll see what happens tomorrow...I may take a couple of days off of work.  But I don't seem to have a problem at work. 

My dr did prescribe me Trazadone to help me sleep.  Last night I was up until 4 am.  I had told her before that if I don't drink I can't sleep.  Anyone heard of that drug?  I do see her on the 8th.  So hopefully I can beat this beast instead of it beating me and cheating my family.

Hugs and thanks to you all.

~P

Paula:
I agree w/ Tricia on the detox issue. I have done it both ways - (Hate to admit have had to detox a number of times in the prior years....but such is the nature of addiction)
I know your concerns were about your children, but I can tell you during detox it is very hard to do much mothering. If you really don't want to do it inpatient - see if your doctor will give you some Ativan for the shakes/anxiety. And - find a friend who will check on you on a regular basis - if not stay at the house w/ you.
I did an out-patient program where I went 4 nights a week; however, this was after doing in-patient detox.
Good luck - we are all thinking of you.
Anne

There are a variety of treatment options.  I did not go inpatient, but did an intensive outpatient program at a rehab.  It involved going three nights a week.  I did that for five weeks, and now I go to a weekly group, once a week.  Most treatment programs, or rehabs, insist on attending AA meetings too.  Treatment does not cure a person, but educates on the disease of alcoholism, and helps a person see their need for the daily remedy, AA's 12 Steps. 

AA does not work if a person does not work the 12 steps and keep going to meetings.  Whenever I relapse it is because I stop working my program.  I could blame AA, but I am the one who stopped going to meetings and working the steps.  AA is not a cure, but a program of recovery.

If you have the shakes, you may need detoxing inpatient for a few days.  Detoxing without medical supervision is dangerous, and could be deadly.

Good luck,
Trish