Hi Pat,
I am Trish, and I am an alcoholic.  I differ from most here because I was an alcoholic prior to my surgery.  I have been in AA since 1989, and have had periods of sobriety as long as 8 years one time, and 6+ years the last time. 

At the time of my WLS, I had over 5 years of sobriety.  I was working my AA program well, and doing well in all areas of my life.  A year ago, in December, I relapsed and began the downward spiral into the Hell of alcoholism.  My bottom is ugly, and I have struggled for the past year to get more than three months put together. 

What has not helped is that I have lost my two brothers suddenly since my surgery, and have also learned some serious things about myself in my psychotherapy. 

Most recently, I have been in an outpatient rehab program, and have been so resistant to it, I can't stand it.  I first spent 5 weeks in an intensive outpatient program, which met three times a week, for two and a half hours each time.  After that, I transferred to a weekly group that is an hour and a half long. 

I have yet to make goal weight, and really do struggle.  If I don't drink, I find my eating is worse.  I have pushed the limits of my sugar intake to learn just how far I can go without dumping.  My exercise has slacked off, and I am not making my protein goals at all. 

I have found AA support online by joining a Yahoo group that is called AA2.  I have a terrific sponsor, who has 16 years of sobriety.  I am really blessed with support and encouragement.  I just hate feeling the feelings and dealing with life on life's terms. 

I would love to be part of the support we have here more actively.  Please feel free to PM me if you wish.

Hugs,
Trish

01/11 REFLECTION FOR THE DAY

The experiences of thousands upon thousands of people have proven that acceptance and faith are capable of producing freedom from dependence on chemicals.  When we apply the same principles of acceptance and faith to our emotional problems, however, we discover that only relative results are possible.  Obviously, for example, nobody can ever become completely free from fear, anger or pride.  None of us will ever achieve perfect love, harmony or serenity.  We'll have to settle for very gradual progres*****tuated occasionally by very heavy setbacks.  HAVE I BEGUN TO ABANDON MY OLD ATTITUDE OF "ALL OR NOTHING ?"

TODAY I PRAY
May God grant me the patience to apply those same principles of faith and acceptance which are keys to my recovery to the whole of my emotional being.  May I learn to recognize the festering of my own human anger, my hurt, my frustration, my sadness.  With the help of God, may I find appropriate ways to deal with these feelings without doing harm to myself or others.

TODAY I WILL REMEMBER
Feelings are facts.











something *cute* but often true

01/09 REFLECTION FOR THE DAY

In the past, and sometimes even now, I automatically have thought, "Why me?", when I'm trying to learn that my first problem is to accept my present cir****tances as they are, myself as I am and the people around me as they are.  Just as I finally accepted my powerlessness over my addiction, so must I accept my powerlessness over people, places and things.  AM I LEARNING TO ACCEPT LIFE ON LIFE'S TERMS?

TODAY I PRAY
May I learn to control my urge to control, my compulsion to manage, neaten, organize and label the lives of others.  May I learn to accept situations and people as they are instead of as I would like them to be.  Thus, may I do away with the ongoing frustrations that a controlling person, by nature, faces continually.  May I be entirely ready to have God remove this defect of character.

TODAY I WILL REMEMBER
Control for the controller (me).

Wow that's wonderful!! :)  I'm wanting a bat-wing-ectomy and a gut flattener...but I'm afraid I won't stop there! LOL...I figure I've just started back exercising damn near daily, so I'll wait and see. I've put myself through so much surgery wise, I'm not sure I want to do it again this soon.

I've had some lapses (but not relapses as my shrink put it) with food and stan. NOT going to do the domination thing again, and just did a three day liquid protein de-carb fest. My sugars bottomed out so bad I lasted only 2.5 days...but it helped. I never thought a liquid protein detox would really make a difference but it did! I feel better, my sugars are stable again and I'm finally less constipated. (what's not to love, right?) LOL...

My daughter had a reduction a year ago and loves the results. She went from a DDD to a C and is much happier. No more back pain, off her thyroid meds and the migraines are all but gone too!  I just want mine put back where they belong! LOL... The tummy thing sounds good though. But I want to try tightening up what I've let spread out first. I'm so glad you're happy iwth your results! It does so much for our self-esteem and outlook on life! How long do you have for recuperation from work? Is it hard to raise and lower yourself like it was after the bypass? I remember it was almost a month before I could move up and down from bed as I did pre-op. You'll be the next Victoria's Secret model now!!

RHONDA!!!  How are you feeling chickie?? Glad to see you back here!! Missed you terribly!! :) 

Big hugs,
Marie