Today I am grateful..

For Debra.. Through our relationship I have been able to see and go places I would have never gone before.. Also, I have grown so much since we began our friendship.. I love you..

For Sean.. Although I messed up his plans yesterday.. He knows that I am still his boy..

For Joni..Sorry for not listening to you but yes I am a man.. LOL..

For dancing to a song that I would have normally cried when they played..

For knowing that I will still be here..

It's been 11 days of NO shopping for me!! I deleted all my credit card info from QVC online, returned the few things that were in transit, and have not looked at the channel on TV or online at work OR at home. I'm feeling really good about this!! :) My shopping addiction is such a struggle for me...it got way out of control over the past year or two, actually more if I'm honest with myself. I've been watching more baseball on TV and reading to avoid shopping. At work....I've been WORKING!  LOL...might actually end up being job security for me. Who knows!? Just an update! How's everyone else doing?

Marie

I have a history of suicide attempts, and I am seeing a therapist.

It's bothersome to think of how contented and happy the thought makes me in the dream, and that there's no pain from slitting my wrists in the dream.

As for the attempts, I have never tried slitting my wrists, it's just too messy. It's not my style, I guess.

I like the idea of oblivion, but not of dying, if that makes any sense at all...

I know it's the depression, and I need to see my psychiatrist again...

03-15 REFLECTION FOR THE DAY

There have been days during my recovery when just about everything seemed bleak and even hopeless.  I allowed myself to become depressed and angry.  I see now that it doesn't matter what I think, and it doesn't matter how I feel.  It's what I do that counts.  So when I become anxious or upset, I try to get into action by going to meetings, participating, and working with others in The Program.  IF GOD SEEMS FAR AWAY, WHO MOVED?

TODAY I PRAY

May I not be immobilized by sadness or anger to the point of despair.  May I look for the roots of despair in my tangle of emotions, sort out the tangle, pull out the culprit feelings, acknowledge that they belong to me.  Only then can I get into gear, take action, begin to accomplish.  May I learn to make use of the energy generated by anger to strengthen my will and achieve my goals.

TODAY I WILL REMEMBER

To sort out my feelings.

Hi Trish!!

I'm sorry you're not feeling well just yet, but I AM SO PROUD OF YOU for your 60 days!!!  That is such a great feeling isn't it?? :)  Kol Ha kvod...(all the power to you) :) God bless you girlfriend!

Big hugs,
Marie