Recent Posts
Thank you! I will keep you posted 
First of all: HUGS! 
I just replied to your blog post. I like your plan to use your EAP. Please keep us posted.
Lynn 
Well-behaved women seldom make history. --Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
Hi everyone. I've been feeling pretty hopeless for a while now. I feel like these dark emotions come and go like waves. Sometimes I can go for months without feeling so sad and other times I feel like I don't know what to do with myself. It hasn't gotten to the the point where I call of work or stop doing the things I normally do. I find myself fighting back tears at work. I've caught myself looking up things online which I probably shouldn't like what the process is in overdoses of certain medications. I know I would not hurt myself, I'm too afraid of death. Ironic? I don't know.
Other things I've noticed through out the years. Work has been extremely tough as far as who my bosses. Right now things are the best they've been in a while but having to fix the stupid mistakes of your superiors doesn't make for the best work environment. Luckily that person is gone. Still I belive that my stress/anxiety issues began because of this. In 2010 I started to notice little round spots on my hands that would be itchy and grow wider over time until they disappeared. A friend of mine told me that maybe it could be ringworm. I thought it was possible because my dog had it. Well, I went to my PCP and two dermatologist and was treated for almost a whole year for ringworm. It wasn't until the second dermatologist decided to do a skin biopsy that I found out I had hives! After that I went to an allergist that checked for basic allergens and told me everthing came out negative. So I started to pay attention to when I got them and I really think they have to do with stress/anxiety.
I feel like I'm not exactly paralized by fear they certainly do show up on my skin in the most annoying manner. The itch can be so unberable especially in the palms of my hands and on my feet. To the point where even washing my hands is horrible. I have been working in a different department at work and the hives had disappeared for months but they're back now. I know its not work because things are okay here. I know my regain after RNY has been on my mind as well as my doggie being sick but its not like I haven't been through that before. Its hard because sometimes I can pinpoint what has stressed me out and sometimes I can't. It can happen when I'm happy anxious and when something stressful happens. Make sense??? I have no idea.
Well I've been rambling on enough. I just needed to get it off my chest. I think I'm going to use the EAP at work to find a therapist.
I am bipolar and considering having the sleeve. Problem is, i swear the psych meds have put 80 lbs on me, so I am wondering if surgery will be effective for me. I al so take insulin and other diabetes drugs. Everyone saya the surgery will make me healthier but I have my doubts.
Can totally relate to all u shared about. I was diagnosed bipolar 2 years before my WLS and was about 15 years clean and sober as well. I have been successful with taking the weight off but did ultimately relapse as a result of self medicating my unrecognized bipolar episodes. I began abusing prescription meds and ended up suicidal and in a dual diagnosis ward. I am clean and sober again but in intense treatment now to get myself mentally stable. I am on short term disability from work as my pdoc and I work out a med ****tail that's going to keep me even keeled. Currently I am on 200 mg Lamictal, 900 mg Lithium and 300 mg Wellbutrin. I am just now starting to feel a little normal after about 4 months.....but I know I am still in the infancy stage of getting well again. I am afraid of weight gain with these new meds but I am willing to allow some pounds if it means staying alive and giving my kids the stable mother they deserve. I have been on a friggen roller coaster for years and I can definitely attest to the fact that just because we lose the weight, life doesnt get all fine and dandy.
Good luck!
Sounds like you are on the right track. You have done excellent with your weight loss so far. Don't give up. I have a food addiction too. I just realized that reading your post, I do all the same things. I don't hide what I eat, but I buy a lot of junk food. I have found that eating before I go grocery shopping helps, and make a list of what you need. Hang in there. Barb
Thank you for all your supportive words. I have been seeing a psychiatrist and a mental health worker for quite some time now. I was recently put on prozac 20 mgs. along with my venlafaxine. I have been taking it for a month now, so hope it helps soon. I have been feeling really depressed and low energy. I added a fitness class 3 times a week also.
I am hanging in there. Hope you all can too. Thanks Barb
I am glad I found this before I posted the question myself... I am Bipolar II, OCD, and mildly Agoraphobic... its a concern of mine in my new journey towards WLS if I will be denied for surgery.
“The biggest adventure you can ever take is to live the life of your dreams.”
