i'm wondering where you are at with your self-care.  back to basics.  what is your post-op plan?  are you drinking enough water?  getting your vitamins?  how are you doing with protein?  are youe eating anything you shouldn't be?

April is not very long ago.  Your body has been through a very traumatic experience, and I agree with the previous poster about looking at those emotional issues, but from your post you sound all over the map.  it's important when you are distressed like this to start really, really simple.

if it's at all reassuring, i think it is way, way too early to tell how your VSG is turning out.  I think whatever else is going on, you are now on some kind of emotional roller-coaster and I know what those are like all too well.  They distort our perceptions, magnify everything.  The most important thing IMO is to get you to a stable place physically and mentally, and right now i don't know where you are at physically.  and that starts with self-care.  so try to settle down a little and be clear.  what is your basic, basic self-care plan for post-op and how is it going?

I just recovered from a broken foot, and my apartment was a disaster because I had not quite gotten over sinus surgery when I broke my foot.  I live alone and it was a disaster just because of living life.  I was miserable because I could not stay home from work, and I am a teacher, and I could not get my apartment in order.  To add to my stress, my daughter made a trip to Pennsylvania with my 2 year old granddaughter last week.  I called my mom and begged her to come to town a couple of days before my daughter got here to help me get things together.

I guess my point is, do what you can, when you can.  I was married, and must admit my ex was better at housekeeping and was willing to pitch in as much as needed.  We both worked full time.  

One thing I am learning about men.  I don't assume they know what I need, or what to do around the house.  I must ask for help.  It was a hard lesson to learn, but very helpful.

Good luck.

Trish

one thing i've learned is that just because two problems look similar, doesn't mean they have the same origin.  i have a number of both physical and mental health issues that are so overlapping it's nearly impossible to isolate what causes which.

if you need a 12-step program for food, you will find out.  you will get plenty of dogmatic people in AA (and any other program you look into).  when i hear dogmatism, i hear fear.  the 12-steps are not about control and are not about being close-minded.  i say, listen for the ring of truth and know it is personal and real, and it's not the same for everyone.  the wonderful thing about the 12-steps is that they open up the field to nearly any solution that works for anyone.  look at step 9, about making amends.  what is an amends?  it means to fix, to change, to make restitution.  it doesn't prescribe what those actions should be.  

when i got sober, i was acting out addictively in EVERY area of my life.  i was in every 12-step program known to humankind that i could jam into my day.  i did therapy, a lot of it.  many people in AA told me not to do that.  based on what? their interpretation of the 12 steps?  fortunately i didn't care what anyone thought.  i hung with the winners, i trusted the people my gut told me to trust, because that ear for the ring of truth told me what i needed to do to survive.  and it has never let me down because i am as honest as i can be, and because i want it, pure and simple.  i wantd to live, and i knew i would otherwise die.  and here i am almost twenty years later, and my life has changed beyond recognition, and i am damned grateful for that.

but do i still see everything - EVERYTHING - in a 12-step model?  have some of my behaviors changed and improved on their own, as a result of recovery from my primary addictions, from my crippling depression and codependcy?  you bet they have.

OA is an AWESOME program but like any program it's not the right solution for every single person who comes along.  and you and only you can be the judge of that.  if the shoe fits, wear it.  if you aren't sure, and you want to be safe, do it.

my personal .02 is read the literature of the program carefully and thoroughly, because otherwise all you have to go on is what people in the program say about it, and many of them have never really studied it or bothered to put it into practice, they just like to sound important and get a thrill out of influencing or controlling other people.  you have to decide in the end what you want out of AA.  i promise you will get it.  you may have to pay a price, but you will get it.  when the student is ready, the teacher will appear.

I have the same problem.  The ****tail I am on includes medications that contribute/cause weight gain, or make loss VERY difficult.

One medication my doctors tried was Topamax, specifically because one of the side effects is weight loss/loss of appetite.  Unfortunately I have an allergy to one of its components, so I can't take it.   When I spoke with my therapist about alternatives, she mentioned that the "butrins" tend to help with the increased appetite/weight gain issue.  I know that there aren't many people with bipolar whose docs Rx the "butrins" because they (IMHO) are a lighter weight medication for the rapid cycling.

Good luck!!!!

I HAD MY VSG IN APRIL.I AM NOW A BASKETCASE.I AM ON ATIVAN JUST TO BE ABLE
TO EAT.I AM NOT MEETING THE CALORIES I NEED.I AM MISSING WORK BECAUSE
I HURT ALL OVER AND AM SO ANXIOUS. HAVE BEEN GETTING COUNSELING.TRIED
LEXAPRO,TOO MANY SIDE EFFECTS.WILL TRY ZOLOFT OR VISTARIL NEXT.STILL
HAVE DIARRHEA ALOT,ALTHOUGH PROBIOTICS HELPS,BUT THEN SOME DAYS
IT MAKES IT HARD TO GO TO THE BATHROOM.BAD DIARRHEA/ANXIETY MADE ME
WAKE UP AT 2:30 AM,MISSED WORK.CRYING  BAD.I AM SO AFRAID,I HAVE NEVER
HAD ANXIETY IN MY LIFE.I AM AFRAID THIS WON'T GET BETTER EVEN THOUGH
EVERYONE SAYS IT WILL.I REGRET THE DAY I HAD THIS SURGERY.MY LIFE IS
UPSIDE DOWN.I PRAY AND PRAY.ANYONE WHO HAS BEEN THRU THIS PLEASE
HELP...DON'T WANT TO BE ON DRUGS TO FUNCTION...ALREADY TRIED TO TAPER
DOWN ON ATIVAN...DISASTER...SURGEON SAYS I WILL LOOK BACK ON THIS AND
LAUGH, I AM NOT LAUGHING NOW BUT I AM CRYING ALOT. WHAT ELSE CAN I DO
TO GET MYSELF WELL?
                                                           KIM