Recent Posts
Topic: RE: Grateful Post (Filling in for Ramon)
Today I am grateful for:
My sobriety and weight loss surgery.
My kids, granddaughter and soon-to-be-born grandson.
My jobs.
My dog.
My family.
My freedom to travel to Michigan to help my daughter as she prepares for the birth of her second child.
My sobriety and weight loss surgery.
My kids, granddaughter and soon-to-be-born grandson.
My jobs.
My dog.
My family.
My freedom to travel to Michigan to help my daughter as she prepares for the birth of her second child.
Seek always to do some good, somewhere. Every man has to seek in his own way to realize his true worth. You must give some time to your fellow man. For remember, you don't live in a world all your own. Your brothers are here too.
Albert Schweitzer
Albert Schweitzer
Topic: RE: My DAD is making things worse....
I was once where you are. My three kids are all grown now. I earned my bachelors in education after I had them. It took a lot of work, but I also had their father in the picture at that time, and he and I traded off the child care responsibilities while we were in college together. It was not till my divorce, and the youngest started college, that I pursued my Masters in Social Work. I was in my 40s then.
I understand your feeling like a prisoner. If you can, try to find some sort of outlet for all four of you. Go to a park and walk. Find a nature center and go exploring. Find out when story hour at the public library is. Slowly, you will begin to feel some sense of calm about your current situation. They will not be little forever, though it seems that way at times.
If they are old enough, see if they and you qualify for the Headstart program. It is a government subsidized preschool program. If you do, you might then have the opportunity to return to school, even if it is part time. Also, a lot of colleges provide daycare at a somewhat reasonable rate. My youngest attended one when I was in college. He and I walked across campus together all the time. It was neat.
Feel free to PM me if you ever need to cry or just want to talk.
Hugs,
trish
I understand your feeling like a prisoner. If you can, try to find some sort of outlet for all four of you. Go to a park and walk. Find a nature center and go exploring. Find out when story hour at the public library is. Slowly, you will begin to feel some sense of calm about your current situation. They will not be little forever, though it seems that way at times.
If they are old enough, see if they and you qualify for the Headstart program. It is a government subsidized preschool program. If you do, you might then have the opportunity to return to school, even if it is part time. Also, a lot of colleges provide daycare at a somewhat reasonable rate. My youngest attended one when I was in college. He and I walked across campus together all the time. It was neat.
Feel free to PM me if you ever need to cry or just want to talk.
Hugs,
trish
Seek always to do some good, somewhere. Every man has to seek in his own way to realize his true worth. You must give some time to your fellow man. For remember, you don't live in a world all your own. Your brothers are here too.
Albert Schweitzer
Albert Schweitzer
Topic: RE: My DAD is making things worse....
I'm sorry to hear that you are going through the same crap I am. You sound like a very strong woman and I think that is great. I'm sorry to hear about your dad. I know it must have been hard on you. I go through periods where I think about committing suicide but, I have to stop and think it's just my mental illness making me think this way. It's really hard when my sister was the lucky one and didn't develop any problems. She is so successful in life and it makes me look like a major failure. Life is just so tough and I try to make the best of it. Thank's for leaving me this message. It was very touching.....
Topic: RE: My DAD is making things worse....
Thank you so much for the inspirational message. I think it's great that your able to help other people with the same issues you and I have. You are such an inspiration. I'm stuck home all day everyday with my 3 kids because I can't afford childcare. I start to go crazy at times because I feel like i'm locked in a prison. I would love to do something like what you do. I think that is an amazing job.
Topic: RE: mother in law issues
I am sorry you are dealing with this. I empathize, as my mom has basically cut me off in the past month.
You mentioned "BORDERLINE" in reference to your MIL. If she is definitely borderline personality, you have your work cut out for you. BOUNDARIES are a key issue that you must learn to set with her. My suggestion would be for you and your husband to do several proactive things for your benefit, and the benefit of your marriage and your daughter.
1. Read a book called "Boundaries." I believe it is by authors Cloud and Townsend.
2. Seek marital therapy from a licensed therapist who has experience with people who have borderline personality disorder. You are newlyweds, and can benefit from any sane support you can avail yourselves of, AND, you, as a couple, can develop coping and communication skills for the irrational stuff MIL throws in your direction. The therapist can be your reality anchor.
3. Two other books that are helpful are "Understanding the Borderline Mother," by Lawson, and "Stop Walking on Eggshells," by Kreger.
I speak from having been a borderline mother. I destroyed my marriage and hurt my children. Thankfully, I have a terrific therapist and made some huge progress in eliminating the negative interactions, for the most part, with my children. I have a pretty stable relationship wtih my grown children now. We sometimes butt heads, but they are strong enough and wise enough to set the boundaries if I cross a line. I also learned to self-examine and correct any negative thinking and behaviors. I also have a terrific therapist who does not let me shoot myself in the foot in my behaviors.
Good luck,
Trish
You mentioned "BORDERLINE" in reference to your MIL. If she is definitely borderline personality, you have your work cut out for you. BOUNDARIES are a key issue that you must learn to set with her. My suggestion would be for you and your husband to do several proactive things for your benefit, and the benefit of your marriage and your daughter.
1. Read a book called "Boundaries." I believe it is by authors Cloud and Townsend.
2. Seek marital therapy from a licensed therapist who has experience with people who have borderline personality disorder. You are newlyweds, and can benefit from any sane support you can avail yourselves of, AND, you, as a couple, can develop coping and communication skills for the irrational stuff MIL throws in your direction. The therapist can be your reality anchor.
3. Two other books that are helpful are "Understanding the Borderline Mother," by Lawson, and "Stop Walking on Eggshells," by Kreger.
I speak from having been a borderline mother. I destroyed my marriage and hurt my children. Thankfully, I have a terrific therapist and made some huge progress in eliminating the negative interactions, for the most part, with my children. I have a pretty stable relationship wtih my grown children now. We sometimes butt heads, but they are strong enough and wise enough to set the boundaries if I cross a line. I also learned to self-examine and correct any negative thinking and behaviors. I also have a terrific therapist who does not let me shoot myself in the foot in my behaviors.
Good luck,
Trish
Seek always to do some good, somewhere. Every man has to seek in his own way to realize his true worth. You must give some time to your fellow man. For remember, you don't live in a world all your own. Your brothers are here too.
Albert Schweitzer
Albert Schweitzer
Topic: Been AWOL
I have been AWOL for a very long time. So long, I can't remember when I last posted here. In the past month, my computer crashed and I have been rebuilding it, and lost my bookmarks.
I am Trish, alcoholic, former borderline personality, bipolar, eating disordered etc. My last drink was on June 7, 2009. I have been in alcoholism treatment since October and in AA for almost 20 years. My weight loss has been stalled for the past nineteen months, which coincides with the start of my alcohol relapsing.
I have been learning the importance of working the 12 steps, and being totally honest with myself and others. I have also been learning of my great need to internalize my therapy and program. My motivation for doing much of anything has to come from within, and lately it has not.
I am also learning of my need to stay on my meds as prescribed. When I play with my med levels BAD things happen. I make unhealthy, self-defeating choices that make my life miserable.
I just wanted to catch up with all of you and meet the new people.
I am getting a new grandchild in a few days, and will be posting pics on Facebook first. If you are on Facebook, my username is Patricia Anne Reilly. If you want to befriend me, write me a note telling me you know me from OH and this forum in particular.
Hugs,l
Trish
I am Trish, alcoholic, former borderline personality, bipolar, eating disordered etc. My last drink was on June 7, 2009. I have been in alcoholism treatment since October and in AA for almost 20 years. My weight loss has been stalled for the past nineteen months, which coincides with the start of my alcohol relapsing.
I have been learning the importance of working the 12 steps, and being totally honest with myself and others. I have also been learning of my great need to internalize my therapy and program. My motivation for doing much of anything has to come from within, and lately it has not.
I am also learning of my need to stay on my meds as prescribed. When I play with my med levels BAD things happen. I make unhealthy, self-defeating choices that make my life miserable.
I just wanted to catch up with all of you and meet the new people.
I am getting a new grandchild in a few days, and will be posting pics on Facebook first. If you are on Facebook, my username is Patricia Anne Reilly. If you want to befriend me, write me a note telling me you know me from OH and this forum in particular.
Hugs,l
Trish
Seek always to do some good, somewhere. Every man has to seek in his own way to realize his true worth. You must give some time to your fellow man. For remember, you don't live in a world all your own. Your brothers are here too.
Albert Schweitzer
Albert Schweitzer
Topic: RE: New here...need some support
I was about one year out when I had to have hernia surgery because of the incision I had. Since that surgery, I have dealt with eating relapses and alcohol relapses. I never reached my goal weight and have been battling a 30 pound gain since the day of my hernia surgery. Nobody has had the gaul to mention what I should or should not have lost. My doc is more concerned about my nutritional levels and my overall health.
Stick with your doc's guidance. He is the medical professional. Ignore and avoid negative people. They are not your friends. Your doc's opinion is the only one that matters.
hang in there and keep us posted on your progress.
Hugs,
Trish
Stick with your doc's guidance. He is the medical professional. Ignore and avoid negative people. They are not your friends. Your doc's opinion is the only one that matters.
hang in there and keep us posted on your progress.
Hugs,
Trish
Seek always to do some good, somewhere. Every man has to seek in his own way to realize his true worth. You must give some time to your fellow man. For remember, you don't live in a world all your own. Your brothers are here too.
Albert Schweitzer
Albert Schweitzer
Topic: RE: new, pregnant and have bipolar
Congratulations on your soon to be born baby. My daughter is about to deliver my second grandchild any day, and at this time has no diagnoses, and is very emotional, to say the least. It is very challenging, but not impossible.
My suggestion would be to practice some self-soothing skills to help you deal with negative emotions. Schedule your days as lightly as possible. Implement deep breathing exercises, and meditation if possible. Take gentle walks, and clear your mind of any stressful clutter that crops up. Avoid negative people who you know are triggers for problems. Journal as much as you need to. Talk to safe friends who will let you vent and not try to "fix" you. Before you know it, your baby will be in your arms, and you will be back on your meds.
Be safe and keep us posted on your delivery.
Hugs,
Trish
My suggestion would be to practice some self-soothing skills to help you deal with negative emotions. Schedule your days as lightly as possible. Implement deep breathing exercises, and meditation if possible. Take gentle walks, and clear your mind of any stressful clutter that crops up. Avoid negative people who you know are triggers for problems. Journal as much as you need to. Talk to safe friends who will let you vent and not try to "fix" you. Before you know it, your baby will be in your arms, and you will be back on your meds.
Be safe and keep us posted on your delivery.
Hugs,
Trish
Seek always to do some good, somewhere. Every man has to seek in his own way to realize his true worth. You must give some time to your fellow man. For remember, you don't live in a world all your own. Your brothers are here too.
Albert Schweitzer
Albert Schweitzer
Topic: RE: My DAD is making things worse....
I am Trish, and I have a variety of diagnoses, and alcoholism, in addition to my compulsive eating disorder. I am sorry that your father has a lot of bitterness and anger toward your grandmother. It is not your fault. Mental illness is a disease, not a choice.
My mom developed bipolar disorder when I was born. She was in and out of psychiatric hospitals throughout my childhood. Dad was a violent alcoholic. I was blessed, or cursed to have developed both, along with borderline personality disorder. My mental health issues destroyed my marriage and hurt my kids.
Acceptance of our situations helps us in a huge way. It gives us the freedom to take our medications and go to therapy and learn to lead healthy, productive lives. We don't choose to be mentally ill, any more than a cancer patient chooses to get cancer. We have no choice. In AA, we call that powerlessness. It is the first step of recovery. Once I accepted my diagnoses, and need for meds and therapy, I was able to dig into my faith and grow close to my God. I found it very practical to practice my 12 step recovery on my mental illness.
For whatever reason, I have these diagnoses. I have my childhood memories that include a variety of traumas. I can use those experiences and make my world a better place, or I can wallow in self-pity and get sicker. That is the choice I have to make. I have had episodes of non-compliance with my meds, and it was not pretty. It contributed to a very long alcoholic relapse, and caused me great misery, which was nobody's fault but my own. I chose to not take my meds as prescribed.
The irony of it all, is I now work part time in a psychiatric hospital and encourage my patients to take their meds as prescribed, and talk about it in therapy.
Hang in there.
Trish
My mom developed bipolar disorder when I was born. She was in and out of psychiatric hospitals throughout my childhood. Dad was a violent alcoholic. I was blessed, or cursed to have developed both, along with borderline personality disorder. My mental health issues destroyed my marriage and hurt my kids.
Acceptance of our situations helps us in a huge way. It gives us the freedom to take our medications and go to therapy and learn to lead healthy, productive lives. We don't choose to be mentally ill, any more than a cancer patient chooses to get cancer. We have no choice. In AA, we call that powerlessness. It is the first step of recovery. Once I accepted my diagnoses, and need for meds and therapy, I was able to dig into my faith and grow close to my God. I found it very practical to practice my 12 step recovery on my mental illness.
For whatever reason, I have these diagnoses. I have my childhood memories that include a variety of traumas. I can use those experiences and make my world a better place, or I can wallow in self-pity and get sicker. That is the choice I have to make. I have had episodes of non-compliance with my meds, and it was not pretty. It contributed to a very long alcoholic relapse, and caused me great misery, which was nobody's fault but my own. I chose to not take my meds as prescribed.
The irony of it all, is I now work part time in a psychiatric hospital and encourage my patients to take their meds as prescribed, and talk about it in therapy.
Hang in there.
Trish
Seek always to do some good, somewhere. Every man has to seek in his own way to realize his true worth. You must give some time to your fellow man. For remember, you don't live in a world all your own. Your brothers are here too.
Albert Schweitzer
Albert Schweitzer
Topic: RE: Don't be alone...
Relapse does happen to many of us in AA, and I have been using it as a learning process. For me, it is in my thinking and step work. Congrats on making it back before the relapse. I was not so lucky. I have been in and out of relapse for over 19 months, after many years of sobriety.
Keep doing your stepwork and stick close to yoru sponsor. It works. The 12 steps do work.
Hugs,
Trish
Keep doing your stepwork and stick close to yoru sponsor. It works. The 12 steps do work.
Hugs,
Trish
Seek always to do some good, somewhere. Every man has to seek in his own way to realize his true worth. You must give some time to your fellow man. For remember, you don't live in a world all your own. Your brothers are here too.
Albert Schweitzer
Albert Schweitzer
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