Just got back from SD!    A little back ground.  Met Mr right there 24 Years ago, after being stationed there years.  He Native WV, I am Native NY/Kingston Canada both and our son is a true red native of SD and was born after the filming of Dances with Wolves.  _  Many stories to tell but none as important as the one that brought me back to this post.

 

I thought I was becoming intolerent of all of my medications so I said " What the heck, why not stay a couple what could it hurt I was in hell at that point any who?  OMG how wrong was I!"

 I almost didn't make it home with out having a nervous breakdown.  Halfway through the trip I had to call the doctor back home to ask "what was happening to me, I found out there was more scarring on the brain one side from the TIA's or strokes I have had, and one major stroke and many and much more scarring from my seizures.  I kept this to myself for several days, then the slurring and other symptoms became more evident.  So I took every second with my four grandsons and enjoyed them to the fullest.

 I  am home now, we got home on the 25 th of August.  I slept until I got to see my Doctor.  I have seen him, one of his associates or a PA or at worse ended up in ER because no one can help me with my migrianes.  MY Neurologist retired, and we are having a horrible time finding a new one that is acceptable because as with anyone who is going to work for me yes for me, I am going to interview!  So far, I have one who will not see Adults with seizures- which makes him an A$$ and the other one gives no feed back what so ever so I don't know it I even have a pulse.

 I am not ready to give up!

 Cheryl

That is so exciting, Trish! Good work. I know you will do a great job speaking. What a wonderful opportunity to praise God for all the transforming work He's doing in your heart and life. Let us know how it goes.
Blessings,
Mary

Hi there,
I can empathize with your loss.  My younger brother died three years ago of blood clots, and he was 40.  Then, a little more than a year later, my older brother died of the same thing at 56. 

I am familiar with xanax, as I was on it when I first got sober.  I had to go off of it, and can only take Buspar these days for my anxiety.

If you want to get off the Xanax, talk to your doctor and discuss your options for tapering off of it.  OR, check into a rehab and detox off them there.  Addiction to benzos is nothing new to rehabs.  There are plenty of decent people in my treatment program who became addicted to something by accident, either painkillers because of surgery, or tranquilizers the way you did. 

You can also attend Narcotics Anonymous meetings for help as well.  The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop using the drug.

Trish

Well, about 2 years ago I suffered a death in the family.. my brother who I grew up with my whole life died of cancer at the young age of only 35... after this happend I became what I like to call "Terminally depressed" .. I ended up losing my job because I didn't want to leave my bed and be out in the world, I just wanted my brother to come back... Sooner or later I started forcing myself to get up out of bed and by this time I was still very depressed but not enough anymore to make me completely immobilized, I also found myself to be INCREDIBLY anxious dealing with severe anxiety all throughout my days dealing with CONSTANT panic attacks.  Especially in social situations...  So a friend of mine convinced me to go see a psychologist who eventually referred me to a pyschiatrist who I began to see regularly...This doctor must have put me on and I must have tried every drug out there from zoloft to paxil, prozac, celexa, buspar, klonopin, and most recently xanax which I'm still on. 

NONE of these meds worked for me... the depression, anxiety, and worst of all-panic attacks continued.  Eventually, desperate, I began scouring the web for answers and I eventually came across this site .. http://www.anxiety.pcti-system.com .. which is this program to cure anxiety/panic attacks for good all naturally.. To make a long story short, it worked incredibly for me.. my anxiety is gone, depression as well almost all but gone, and I haven't had a panic attack in over a month.  I do though from time to time still feel sorrow over my brother.  However, this is my problem:  I'm still taking my xanax because I'm completely ADDICTED.. when I try to stop taking it I start going through incredible withdrawls mentally and physically... If I would have known of this addiction problem I would have never allowed my doctor to put me on them.  Has anyone else suffered from benzo addiction and if so, know how to safely get off it with minimal side effects??  Please any advice/comments/suggestions would be greatly appreciated!!

P.s- For those of you on SSRI antidepressants, I would really recommend taking a look at this site: http://ssristories.com/ .. From what I can tell looking in hindsight, these are potentially very unhealthy dangerous drugs.

I have been hitting a lot of AA meetings lately, because I am in a high stress period of my life. August/September is when I return to my teaching job. The job is not as stressful as it once was, but the transition period is stressful, especially as we are also in contract negotiations. Add to that, I broke my toe three weeks ago, and have been unable to work my second job, which bites into my finances horribly.

Then, Mom is in town for a birthday week, hers being one of them. If you were here in June, I had a total meltdown from a run-in with her. She is speaking to me now, but no mention of the incident, and she can hold a grudge.

So, I have been making a lot more meetings. I hit one on Saturday, Sunday and Monday. I hope to get to treatment group today, and hopefully receive some sort of discharge letter to give to my primary therapist as he has concerns about me ending treatment.

I will have my 90 days of sobriety in a week. Till then, I am protecting myself with my stepwork and meetings. I fear relapsing as I did before, which was always preceded by a couple of weeks without meetings.

I appreciate the support here, as I am not one to take things like that for granted.

Hugs,
Trish