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Topic: ~SPIRITUAL NOT RELIGIOUS~ A DAY AT A TIME
1/04 REFLECTION FOR THE DAY
For a good part of my life, I saw things mostly in negative terms. EVERYTHING was serious, heavy, or just plain awful. Perhaps now I can truly change my attitude, searching out the winners in The Program who have learned how to live comfortably in the real world -- without numbing their brains with mood-altering chemicals. IF THINGS GET ROUGH TODAY, CAN I TAKE A QUIET MOMENT AND SAY TO MYSELF, AS THE PHILOSOPHER HOMER ONCE SAID, "BEAR PATIENTLY, MY HEART -- FOR YOU HAVE SUFFERED HEAVIER THINGS... " ?
TODAY I PRAY
May the peace of God that passes all human understanding fill the place within me that once harbored my despair. May an appreciation for living -- even for life's trials -- cancel out my old negative attitudes. During heart-heavy moments, help to remind me that my heart was once much heavier still.
TODAY I WILL REMEMBER
I, too, am a winner.
It is good to have an end to journey towards; but it is the journey that matters in the end. ~Ursula K. LeGuin
Topic: Anyone out there have anger issues after surgery..??
Ok..I have always had anger issues since I was little..most of it was because I was overweight and ppl would tease me..now that is so not the issue. However, I have had a bad past with an ex husband..I was mentally, physically, and verbally abused for 4 years by this man..Locked up in my house and could not work or go anywhere or I would get beat up til i could not move.
Now...4 years later..I am married again..to a wonderful man for the last 2 years and we have been 2gether for 3. I have a huge anger problem since I have left my exhubby. The best part is no matter how I get towards my hubby..he still loves me and just accepts me for me. I am not a fan of therapist or shrinks or whatever..I did see one before I had my surgery. I am seriously thinking of going to see one..but however..I have a hard time trusting ANYONE...I have a huge trust issue now since my exhubby abused me. He was always lyin to me...now I have this anger issue and I cannot help it but lots of time I get mad at hubby for doing something that is pointless to get mad over. I have found myself doing things I wish not to do..because all I want to do is eat and now..eating is something I force myself to do. Now..all I want to do is drink that whine and it makes me feel better. I am also a smoker..I quit for awhile..and well I started up again a few months after surgery...my thing is..you take my food away and I cannot eat anymore what am I going to do? I smoke and drink now...uugghh. I know it is not a good thing to do but if I do not have either one..a drink or smoke..im flippin out on someone..im throwing stuff around my house..im cussing my husband out to go get me something and make it quick..im hurting myself and others around me to get what I want... Has anyone ever had this issue after surgery? I mean I get right down nasty and punch my glass stuff on the walls and cut myself open..then im throwing plates classes and breaking everything in my house......anger is getting the best of me right now..
Now...4 years later..I am married again..to a wonderful man for the last 2 years and we have been 2gether for 3. I have a huge anger problem since I have left my exhubby. The best part is no matter how I get towards my hubby..he still loves me and just accepts me for me. I am not a fan of therapist or shrinks or whatever..I did see one before I had my surgery. I am seriously thinking of going to see one..but however..I have a hard time trusting ANYONE...I have a huge trust issue now since my exhubby abused me. He was always lyin to me...now I have this anger issue and I cannot help it but lots of time I get mad at hubby for doing something that is pointless to get mad over. I have found myself doing things I wish not to do..because all I want to do is eat and now..eating is something I force myself to do. Now..all I want to do is drink that whine and it makes me feel better. I am also a smoker..I quit for awhile..and well I started up again a few months after surgery...my thing is..you take my food away and I cannot eat anymore what am I going to do? I smoke and drink now...uugghh. I know it is not a good thing to do but if I do not have either one..a drink or smoke..im flippin out on someone..im throwing stuff around my house..im cussing my husband out to go get me something and make it quick..im hurting myself and others around me to get what I want... Has anyone ever had this issue after surgery? I mean I get right down nasty and punch my glass stuff on the walls and cut myself open..then im throwing plates classes and breaking everything in my house......anger is getting the best of me right now..
Topic: RE: Do I trade my mental health with meds or mental health with weight gain n a severe eating disorder?
See if your doc will put you on Adderall. It is used to treat ADHD and Major Depression. It is the ONLY thing that has helped me with my Mental and eating disorder problems. It has helped change my life. I am happy and normal now. Thank GOD for Adderall.
Topic: RE: Do I trade my mental health with meds or mental health with weight gain n a severe eating disorder?
I also used to be Borderline Personality Disordered. I was able to get rid of that diagnosis, but do slip back to some of my old patterns, especially if I relapse with my drinking. I have been struggling with that for a couple of years now.
Hang in there.
Trish
Hang in there.
Trish
Seek always to do some good, somewhere. Every man has to seek in his own way to realize his true worth. You must give some time to your fellow man. For remember, you don't live in a world all your own. Your brothers are here too.
Albert Schweitzer
Albert Schweitzer
Topic: RE: Do I trade my mental health with meds or mental health with weight gain n a severe eating disorder?
Thanks... I do know that part of my daily therapy with my in patient care will be DBT because I also have BPD, ptsd, etc
I wish I could just forget about the scale and everything for 1 day. :(
This is just exhausting.
I wish I could just forget about the scale and everything for 1 day. :(
This is just exhausting.
Topic: RE: Do I trade my mental health with meds or mental health with weight gain n a severe eating disorder?
I empathize a great deal. I was in outpatient treatment twice for my binge eating disorder, with a history of purging also. There was a young woman in one of my groups who had the surgery and was struggling with anorexia, and had been inpatient multiple times for it.
Right this minute, your mental health MUST come first. Follow the doctor's instructions concerning your medication. Do not deviate from it at all. I am bipolar and alcoholic, in addition to my eating disorder. When I play with my meds, I end up drinking instead. I have been relapsing with alcohol for over two years now. I am currently in outpatient treatment for that. Eating disorders/alcoholism all have the same root.
Priorities must rule your life right now. Medication and stability must be first and foremost for you. Your weight will be able to be dealt with AFTER you are stable. Your meds, like your surgery, are a tool to help you with your situation. They will help you make the healthy decisions concerning your food choices and how you deal with your food once it is consumed.
Hang in there. There are many here who can empathize.
Hugs,
Trish
Right this minute, your mental health MUST come first. Follow the doctor's instructions concerning your medication. Do not deviate from it at all. I am bipolar and alcoholic, in addition to my eating disorder. When I play with my meds, I end up drinking instead. I have been relapsing with alcohol for over two years now. I am currently in outpatient treatment for that. Eating disorders/alcoholism all have the same root.
Priorities must rule your life right now. Medication and stability must be first and foremost for you. Your weight will be able to be dealt with AFTER you are stable. Your meds, like your surgery, are a tool to help you with your situation. They will help you make the healthy decisions concerning your food choices and how you deal with your food once it is consumed.
Hang in there. There are many here who can empathize.
Hugs,
Trish
Seek always to do some good, somewhere. Every man has to seek in his own way to realize his true worth. You must give some time to your fellow man. For remember, you don't live in a world all your own. Your brothers are here too.
Albert Schweitzer
Albert Schweitzer
Topic: RE: Do I trade my mental health with meds or mental health with weight gain n a severe eating disorder?
I know you have been struggling for some time now and hope you find the right path out. Being bipolar and having an eating disorder is difficult. I am speaking from experience and yes I have been inpatient for both. I have and still use some of the meds you discuss freaquently. I think that you need to stop thinking about the possible side effects of weight gain and let them help you. Work on getting on plan with your eating and not relying on meds for magic fix. They are a tool just like this surgery.
I struggle with my weight I take a lot of the meds you mentioned causing weight gain and I am underweight. I work on my issues with food in a cognitive manor which is what you need to do in my opinion. I am greatful for the med regulation I am at right now ( all seem to keep me from becoming manic or severly depressed) I still have to work hard to make the right choices dietarily...I guess I had the ah ha moment I hope you do. The meds are a tool....they will help...there is not going to be a chemical only way out of this Misty...YOU are going to have to be part of it...I am afraid there is no magic pill.
I know how hard it is when you are struggling. Let the doctors worry about the drugs and combinations and worry about you and the cognitive problems. I just know from your post here and many past posts...You are looking for a magic pill it seems and there isn't one. Just because a med has a side effect of weight gain doesn't mean it is the cause. I have been on a decent dose of Seroquel and lamictal daily for well over a year and still struggle with maintaining a BMI and weight that are in the normal catagory and not underweight. You and I both know these drugs have side effects of weight gain...Just thought I would share.
Hoping you have a Heathy New Year
Never Give Up you are worth it
I struggle with my weight I take a lot of the meds you mentioned causing weight gain and I am underweight. I work on my issues with food in a cognitive manor which is what you need to do in my opinion. I am greatful for the med regulation I am at right now ( all seem to keep me from becoming manic or severly depressed) I still have to work hard to make the right choices dietarily...I guess I had the ah ha moment I hope you do. The meds are a tool....they will help...there is not going to be a chemical only way out of this Misty...YOU are going to have to be part of it...I am afraid there is no magic pill.
I know how hard it is when you are struggling. Let the doctors worry about the drugs and combinations and worry about you and the cognitive problems. I just know from your post here and many past posts...You are looking for a magic pill it seems and there isn't one. Just because a med has a side effect of weight gain doesn't mean it is the cause. I have been on a decent dose of Seroquel and lamictal daily for well over a year and still struggle with maintaining a BMI and weight that are in the normal catagory and not underweight. You and I both know these drugs have side effects of weight gain...Just thought I would share.
Hoping you have a Heathy New Year
Never Give Up you are worth it
Corgi Mom
RNY
3/16/05
287/129 bmi 20.2 height 5'7"
Loss is good Maintanance is GREAT
Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly
RNY
3/16/05
287/129 bmi 20.2 height 5'7"
Loss is good Maintanance is GREAT
Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly
Topic: Do I trade my mental health with meds or mental health with weight gain n a severe eating disorder?
Went pretty hypo manic, and ended up in patient for 3 weeks from the 20th til the 11th of last/ this month.. During that time they tried Trileptal which without the purging dropped my sodium to 124ish (keep in mind I have severe bulimia so not a good thing). Then they put me on Neurontin for like 2 days, then now they have me on Depakote. I did lose almost 10 lbs in a week after they took me off the Lamictal.
They just increased my Depakote to 1500 and I've gained 3 lbs, freaking out a little bit already. :(
I have noo freedom over it all now though because I'm under commitment now for my severe eating disorder They keep griping if they can get enough food, etc in me the meds would work better, etc.. If they can make me not gain weight I'd be more likely to eat. :(
I don't know what to do but cry and give up. I'm severely depressed. I'm bout to be thrown in the hospital for however long they want (I do want to get better some days but others I don't I'll be honest and I am just terrified, period, I am willing to work the program but I'm just scared).
Sad thing is if you look at me I'm still chubby. :( All of this for nothing.
What happens if they finally find a good med combo and I start regaining everything though what do I do?? Compromise mental stability for fat which is mental instability in another source for me. I'm just lost and broke and sad.
I'm in therapy 3 times a week. I probably should be in patient right now truthfully but my therapist had to cancel because of weather Thursday or I garuntee she'd put me in because I was not doing well. Been hypomanic for 5 days again.. had labs gonna call psychiatrist Mon bout upping Depakote if they can but IDK if they can.
I'm barely sleeping without self medicating, I'm jjust a blubbering mess LOL... I'm a severe cycler too if that helps any typically.
They just increased my Depakote to 1500 and I've gained 3 lbs, freaking out a little bit already. :(
I have noo freedom over it all now though because I'm under commitment now for my severe eating disorder They keep griping if they can get enough food, etc in me the meds would work better, etc.. If they can make me not gain weight I'd be more likely to eat. :(
I don't know what to do but cry and give up. I'm severely depressed. I'm bout to be thrown in the hospital for however long they want (I do want to get better some days but others I don't I'll be honest and I am just terrified, period, I am willing to work the program but I'm just scared).
Sad thing is if you look at me I'm still chubby. :( All of this for nothing.
What happens if they finally find a good med combo and I start regaining everything though what do I do?? Compromise mental stability for fat which is mental instability in another source for me. I'm just lost and broke and sad.
I'm in therapy 3 times a week. I probably should be in patient right now truthfully but my therapist had to cancel because of weather Thursday or I garuntee she'd put me in because I was not doing well. Been hypomanic for 5 days again.. had labs gonna call psychiatrist Mon bout upping Depakote if they can but IDK if they can.
I'm barely sleeping without self medicating, I'm jjust a blubbering mess LOL... I'm a severe cycler too if that helps any typically.
Topic: RE: In desperate need of help.....
There are many different antidepressants on the market, and it may take a visit to a psychitrist to discuss all of your psychological history to find the correct medication for you. Psych meds are often trial and error, and not a guarantee that any old one will help.
I have been on and off meds for almost twenty years. What I thought was depression turned out to be bipolar disorder, and it takes a combination of three meds to help me stablize and live normal.
Obesity for us WLS kids typically involves eating to deal with negative emotions. Giving up the food can cause a huge gamut of emotions to surface, because our best friend, food, is no longer there to numb out. For me, I knew I was eating disordered twenty years ago when I first started psychotherapy. I also suspected I was an alcoholic. Going on my first diet that the therapist gave me triggered me to go on drinking binges. Getting sober contributed to fourteen years of over a 100 pound weight gain. After my divorce, I discovered illicit sex, and shopped myself into bankruptcy. (I am cross-addicted to say the least.)
Seeing a therapist might also help with the depression. Cognitive therapy is very helpful in helping to identify distorted thoughts that often contribute to depressed moods. It also helps in goal setting and learning new coping skills.
In addition to being in therapy, and on meds for what seems like forever, I also went back to graduate school to become a therapist myself. Working part time in a psych hospital has allowed me to learn a great deal about the psychiatrists, and medication issues.
Feel free to contact me at [email protected] if you would like to correspond privately. I have learned that the best thing for me is helping others like myself.
Hugs,
Trish
I have been on and off meds for almost twenty years. What I thought was depression turned out to be bipolar disorder, and it takes a combination of three meds to help me stablize and live normal.
Obesity for us WLS kids typically involves eating to deal with negative emotions. Giving up the food can cause a huge gamut of emotions to surface, because our best friend, food, is no longer there to numb out. For me, I knew I was eating disordered twenty years ago when I first started psychotherapy. I also suspected I was an alcoholic. Going on my first diet that the therapist gave me triggered me to go on drinking binges. Getting sober contributed to fourteen years of over a 100 pound weight gain. After my divorce, I discovered illicit sex, and shopped myself into bankruptcy. (I am cross-addicted to say the least.)
Seeing a therapist might also help with the depression. Cognitive therapy is very helpful in helping to identify distorted thoughts that often contribute to depressed moods. It also helps in goal setting and learning new coping skills.
In addition to being in therapy, and on meds for what seems like forever, I also went back to graduate school to become a therapist myself. Working part time in a psych hospital has allowed me to learn a great deal about the psychiatrists, and medication issues.
Feel free to contact me at [email protected] if you would like to correspond privately. I have learned that the best thing for me is helping others like myself.
Hugs,
Trish
Seek always to do some good, somewhere. Every man has to seek in his own way to realize his true worth. You must give some time to your fellow man. For remember, you don't live in a world all your own. Your brothers are here too.
Albert Schweitzer
Albert Schweitzer
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