Recent Posts
Would I do it again? IN A HEARTBEAT!! Best gift I ever gave myself.
Co-Founder
http://www.rydobesity.com
Interview on www.weightlosssurgerychannel.com Please check it out.. http://www.weightlosssurgerychannel.com/programs/wls-journeys/wls-journeys-guest-ramon-lopez.html/
Video, about me, made by my best friend Yvonne.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3gCxNTyRUo0
PEACE
464/409/200
Thanks Obesityhelp.com
Today I am grateful..
For the few people that called or texted to check on me..
For the messages I receieved..
That the Cowboys won.. Finally got rid of that damn December jinx..
For a good weekend with Debra..
That I am not successful at everything..
Co-Founder
http://www.rydobesity.com
Interview on www.weightlosssurgerychannel.com Please check it out.. http://www.weightlosssurgerychannel.com/programs/wls-journeys/wls-journeys-guest-ramon-lopez.html/
Video, about me, made by my best friend Yvonne.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3gCxNTyRUo0
PEACE
464/409/200
Thanks Obesityhelp.com
01/11 REFLECTION FOR THE DAY
The experiences of thousands upon thousands of people have proven that acceptance and faith are capable of producing freedom from dependence on chemicals. When we apply the same principles of acceptance and faith to our emotional problems, however, we discover that only relative results are possible. Obviously, for example, nobody can ever become completely free from fear, anger or pride. None of us will ever achieve perfect love, harmony or serenity. We'll have to settle for very gradual progres*****tuated occasionally by very heavy setbacks. HAVE I BEGUN TO ABANDON MY OLD ATTITUDE OF "ALL OR NOTHING?"
TODAY I PRAY
May God grant me the patience to apply those same principles of faith and acceptance which are keys to my recovery to the whole of my emotional being. May I learn to recognize the festering of my own human anger, my hurt, my frustration, my sadness. With the help of God, may I find appropriate ways to deal with these feelings without doing harm to myself or others.
TODAY I WILL REMEMBER
Feelings are fact.
It is good to have an end to journey towards; but it is the journey that matters in the end. ~Ursula K. LeGuin
01/08 Reflection for the Day
Today is the day for which I asked and for which I have been given strength. That in itself is a miracle. In my old life, I constantly endangered myself as well as countless others. So the very fact that I am alive is the great miracle from which all other miracles will flow, providing I continue to do the things that have brought me this far in my new life. AM I GRATEFUL THAT I HAVE BEEN GIVEN THIS DAY?
TODAY I PRAY
May God's goodness and mercy follow me all the days of my life. May I never cease to wonder at the greatest miracle in my life -- that I am alive, here, on this green earth, and growing healthier with the life-preserving tools I have been given. Since God has chosen to give me life and to preserve my life, even through the dangers of addiction, may I always continue to listen for His plan for me. May I always believe in miracles.
TODAY I WILL REMEMBER
My life is a miracle.
It is good to have an end to journey towards; but it is the journey that matters in the end. ~Ursula K. LeGuin
My best suggestion would be to start psychotherapy NOW, and start working on why your self-esteem is low. There are probably factors from childhood that contributed to your low self-esteem, and willingness to eat rather than deal with life and have a social life. Most of us do have issues that contribute to our eating behaviors and self-esteem. I know I certainly did.
I began my therapy journey at 31, and knew then that I had an eating disorder. I had no clue what was under the surface, but am thrilled that I have done so much emotional healing and eventually had the surgery. I still have work to do, but now, the work is dealign with stuff I have done, not what others have done to me.
Some reading material in the meantime that might help:
"The Anatomy of a Food Addiction." I think the author's last name is Katherine...but not sure
"The Beck Diet Solution." by Judith Beck
"Feeling Good" by Dr. David Burns.
Hang in there.
Hugs,
Trish
Albert Schweitzer
Hello everyone! This is my very first post on this website. I live in So Cal and I'm currently attending an Options program through Kaiser. This is a mandatory requirement for my Kaiser insurance. This is a 20 week class once a week for 1 1/2 hrs. We go over things to expect post surgery, go over nutrition and excercise, lose 10% of our weight prior to surgery etc.
I've been SO excited and very eager to get this over and done with so I can finally have my surgery! Yesterday was the first class that actually scared me!! We watched a brief special of a lady that was on the Dr. Phil talk show and she was post surgery out 4 months. She was saying that she was expecting a miracle and she's depressed and she wigs out on her husband all the time etc. We also talked about the mental part of this process yesterday and that terrified me.
It terrified me because everything our instructor talked about was totally ME!
I've had HORRIBLE self esteem issues since before I can remember. I do NOT like myself on the outside, never have. I hate to look in a mirror because I get disgusted. In class we talked about WHY you put on weight. One of the answers was to push people away and keep them at a distance. That's ME!! I've never been able to let myself get close to someone intimately because if I can't stand my ugly self, then why and how could anyone else. I do not take compliments well at all!! I think people just say things to be nice or try to uplift me. I never believe what they say. I very rarely ever go out. I've become a total homebody and it's just been getting worse. I always think people are looking at me and talking behind my back or thinking in their heads "this chick needs to be locked up in a fat farm". (You might be laughing or thinking I'm ridiculous, but this is how I am and exactly how I feel).
I just turned 31 and I feel and act like I'm 60+. I've lost friends due to my lack of wanting a social life. I refuse everyone's offers to go out or I just plain out flake on them. Trust me, I WANT to go, but I'm just not "good enough" to go out and have fun. I'm TOO embarrassed!
Anyway, with my numerous years of depression and anxiety I'm a bit scared of what I will feel mentally, post surgery. I will not know how I will react when I get compliments. I don't know if I will ever feel that "I" look good. I'm scared of saggy, hanging skin - especially more LOOSE back fat! I lost 50 lbs once on Weigh****chers and I couldn't handle the compliments and I had loose back fat and it really got to me! I looked 'ok' but as soon as I turned around all my gross back fat was seen through my shirts!!!! I KNOW there will be saggy skin, but I'm still scared.
As you can tell from reading this, I've struggled with liking myself for most of life. I want to know if anyone has had these problems BEFORE surgery and how you're dealing with them now, after surgery. Were you as bad as me in the self esteem department???? I feel so alone with my feelings and not sure anyone can relate.
Thanks so much for reading and any advice and input will be greatly appreciated!
MQ
"As individuals and as a fellowship," Bill W. continued, "we shall surely suffer if we cast the whole idea of planning for tomorrow into a fatuous idea of providence. God's real providence has endowed us human beings with a considerable capability for foresight, and He evidently expects us to use it. Of course, we shall often miscalculate the future in whole or in part, but that is better than to refuse to think at all." Have I begun to believe that I am only an actor in a play which the Manager directs?
TODAY I PRAY
May I make a prudent use of the foresight and power of choice which God has given me, to plan wisely, one Step at a time, without becoming a slave to apprehension, regret or anxiety. I pray that God's will be done through the exercising of my own will, which He, in His goodness, has given me.
TODAY I WILL REMEMBER
God wills my will to be.
It is good to have an end to journey towards; but it is the journey that matters in the end. ~Ursula K. LeGuin
In the meantime, if money to afford therapy is an issue, check out your county's designated Community Mental Health Center. (If I understand correctly, every county in the US has one.) It gets tax money that makes it possible for them to offer therapy at a way reduced rate based on the client's income.