A bad past, a bad day, a bad future

I can't shake wanting to end my life. I've been abused off and on by various people throughout my life, and I'm tired of it all. I want to just end my life and get it over with quick, but I'm a chicken. So, I came up with a suicide plan that will work. I am the bad guy, nothing but a drain on society so I've decided to let a cop do what I can not. Suicide by cop is my only way to end my life of abuse. As soon as I have finished telling everyone who wants to listen to my secrets on my blog, then I will begin my plan. Sorry its my choice and I can no longer bare the pain. http://mspsychosthoughts.blogspot.com/

Hi there. I am so sorry to see the post now, almost two years later, and wish I was around to see it before. I was so relieved to go to your blog and see you write: "When I hit a bottom, I went on line and found people who were willing to listen, people who cared, people who I have never met before. They didn't judge me, they just listened. Yes, there were some who would proudly proclaim, "JUMP!", if I were standing on a bridge ready to end my life. However, I found for every one of those, there were 9 others who would quickly pull me back, again and again if necessary." Yes, please know that there are so many of us who care and so many of us who would love to help you. You sound so bright and so amazing; please continue to reach out for help or support whenever you need it. If you ever feel as you did before, please call someone, call a friend, call the National Suicide Hotline (1-800-SUICIDE or 1-800-784-2433), or 911. Warmly, Kathy

Recently I removed that quote, thinking that it was no longer true. I then let my thoughts once again return to the way I was thinking when I first posted about suicide by cop. I try to not let my mind go there, but sometimes I just can't stop the way I feel.  For me, writing has helped on the days when I feel like being one of those people who are shouting jump. It's hard to pull myself back sometimes, but then I find someone like you, or someone else that encourages me enough to make it at least one more day.  Thank you, MsPsycho P.S. I think I will put the quote back up.