I need help...HELP!
I am going to my PCP on Monday and plan to talk to her about my alcohol excess/abuse. Today is Saturday (beautiful weather in MN) and I opened my first beer at 11 AM. Then puked around 4 and then slept til now (it's 7:27PM here). Ready to go again and have cracked another. THIS IS BAD! I need help!!!! I know its addiction transference, I didnt drink often before surgery at all- last time(before WLS) was my birthday 9 mos before surgery. Now it's every other day or daily. Today is bad though. I have so much to do around the house and tomorrow is (EASTER) family time so I won't get it done. I hate me. What do I discuss with my PCP? How do I get over the guilt? Lori
Lori,
There is no reason to feel guilty. Addiction to anything is not something you choose, it is a sickness. Addiction to alcohol is called alcoholism. You have taken the first and biggest step in admitting there is a problem.
Your PCP will most likely refer you to a local treatment center where you can get an evaluation done to determine the extent of your addiction. Go. Be honest. Like is said around these boards (even though we all do it, including me!!), don't compare yourself to others.
If alcohol is a problem in your life, it is a problem. You'll hear stories of people who have done such and such or so and so. You will think to yourself, well, I'm not that bad, I haven't done that. May I suggest that every time you hear one of those stories and have that thought - I haven't done that....add a 3-letter word to the end of that sentence....I haven't done that YET. Because if you really have a problem with alcohol and you keep drinking you will do those things you hear about eventually. Trust me, I know. Your "bottom" as it is called, doesn't have to be anywhere near as low as mine was.
I wish you good things - one day at a time.
Cheri - 22+ years clean and sober
Well said Cheri! Never say never because left to our own devices we will cross every never line we ever made.
Thanks for jumping in. Sometimes I wonder if I am crazy checking and posting on this board so much but as I said in another post there have been times I was so glad I could respond to someone or vent myself I just "keep coming back".
Laurie
m 
Lori, I also realized not too long ago that I had a serious problem. I used to drink socially now and again. The last 6-8 months, if I open a bottle of wine and take drink number one, it ended up in bottle number 3. But after glass number 3 I blacked out and didn't remember how I got to the next bottle. It started with weekends only, then every few days right on up to every single day. I got pretty scared. But I was obsessed with drinking. I would even think about it while I was working. Couldn't wait to get home and open up the wine.
I'm newly in recovery. Day 15. And I'm 2 years post-op.
Please tell your doctor everything. Be honest like everybody else has said. But most importantly you've made the first step. It's very important.
And not to scare you, but I've posted about this last week. I almost lost my friend (3 years post op) last week because she had a gastric bleed. Had someone not taken her to detox, she would be dead right now. The scarier thing about that is she's only been drinking heavily for a little over a year..............not 5 or 10 or 15. That was very sobering to me. I hope it's sobering to you. The next scary thing is I'm not sure it really got to her. I hope so, but she's still not coming to grips with her problem.
If you need to do inpatient therapy, there is a great place in Minnesota called the Health Recovery Center (www.healthrecovery.com). They treat the disease by restoring the nutrients in your body and addressing all of the physical issues, as well as the psychological issues. If I end up in inpatient care, I'm buying a plane ticket and going there. I think it's the only program that may take into consideration our nutritional needs. They have a book out about the program called Seven Weeks to Sobriety. I'm following that program with all of the supplements on an outpatient basis. It has helped me tremendously. Ask your doctor if he has heard of it and what he thinks.
Also, L-Glutamine, an amino acid that is used by our bodies, is a good supplement to curb cravings. In the HRC program right now, the detox formula I'm taking tells me to take 5 grams three times a day. Also, if you have a bad craving, you can open up a 500-milligram capsule and put it under your tongue. I have been told this by 3 doctors now. Please ask your doctor what he thinks. It also helps with sugar cravings.
Please consider AA or some form of support, including this board. I also belong to Women For Sobriety. It is a very positive program, similar in some respects to AA, but addresses women's issues. Their forum web site is http://groups.msn.com/WomenforSobriety . The main site is www.womenforsobriety.org.
I'm only trying to give options, some things that have worked for me so far. Other things have worked for other people. But, no matter what, please, please, please tell your doctor and get help. And don't feel embarassed. He's not there to judge you. He's there to help you get better. And you're worth it! It's a physiological thing, and YOU CAN overcome it. Don't feel guilt or shame. I've been told 100 times now, would you be ashamed if you had diabetes? Would you feel guilty if that were your affliction? Alcoholism is no different. It is a physical disease that CAN be treated!
We're here to help!
Vicky
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