My experience this weekend

Well, reading the posts I see at least a couple of people who are new to the struggle and I just wanted to share my weekend. I had a different week. Just home from a wonderful vacation, feeling strong and happy. I got sick and had no energy. Hubby was out of town all week. My late teen, adult kids were very busy and I was lonely. I tried retail therapy and it just felt stupid. By Sat pm I was not eating, and feeling sorry for myself. My friends in recovery have busy lives and I called them but still felt I was on the brink of isolation. So I stopped at Taco Bell for some pintos and beans and parked my car in the parking lot where the meeting would be at 9:30 pm. A young guy shared about his fear of leaving his half way house and being on his own for the first time in his life. Others gave experience hope and strength info. I did not feel alone anymore. I was with others who had these same fralities and care. I care about them. I don't like all of them but I care. Thats what a 12 step program gives us.I am never alone unless I choose to be and that is not a healthy place for me. I have to make the effort but the rewards are so great. Thanks for letting me share. Laurie

thanks for sharing . . . you've got such a talent for "painting" a verbal picture. It means a lot. Linda

Laurie you have been so great to me lately. i take comfort in getting your email and post. you are totally an inspiration to me and if you don't mind me asking how long have you been sobber and how long have you been in AA? Did you ever relaspe? I love it when you share your feelings with us. Thank you Christian

Always my pleasure. I have been clean of drugs and alcohol for 21 months. I have been going to NA for 23 months. At first I still dran****assionally. I felt my problem was pain meds and I knew I as I listened that I acted out in so many ways. It was confusing to me. WHAT was I addicted to? Eventually I got it. NA is about mind altering drugs so on July 4, 2004 I had my last drink. My clean date is July 5. So this summer I celebrate 2 yr. No I have not relapsed. I am grateful. I have watched a lot of people go back out and it is horrible to watch. Others went back to the old way and never have returned. I know some of them have or will die. I believe others when they share it was so much worse when they relapsed. So when I struggle I play it out in my head til I get to the end. There are always consequences. I am SO happy for you. Being able to identify with someone is such a cool thing. It is the basis of the program. I have to chair a noon meetings so I have to close now. I will check back and finish reading posts later. Have a marvelous day!!!!!! Laurie