first weekend sobber

This weekend was my first weekend sobber in a very long time. I want a drink so freaking bad I can't stand it and I know that I am going to have to really fight it this afternoon because my mom is back in our hometown and I don't have anyone to watch me. I am going to go to my first AA meeting tonight and just pray that I can get through this day without failing myself and others and heading to a bar when I get off work. I even laid in bed last night and thought about where I could go that I wouldn't probably run into anyone I knew. I am so angry with myself that these are the things my mind is thinking about. I struggled with an addicition to food for 29 years and now I am still struggling but with something much more damaging. Tell me that the first week being sobber is the hardest. I am smoking so damn much. christian

You are in my thoughts and prayers for all the strength in the world!! HUGS TO YOU!! Dana

Oh yes it is hard you have no one in recovery to help you. Plz do yourself a big favor and stay after the meeting. Introduce yourself to some women and get some phone numbers. If they invite you for coffee- go! Isolation is your enemy. Call people on your list. Call the help line if needed. Left to your own devices you will drink. Everyone has been there. It is easier to stay sober than to get sober. Right now you are not drinking, that is not the same thing as being in recovery. Go, listen, ask for help.Keep an open mind and listen for the similarities not the differences. Hang in there! Laurie

AA was great last night I was so scared when I arrived but everyone there was great. I have a sponsor and she is a school teacher too so it made me feel great to know I am not the only one out there. She even bought my books for me cause I didn't have cash on me. I can't wait to go back on Wednesday night I can so relate with these people. I didn't say anything last night just listened which I guess is exactly what I needed since I left feeling like I brick had been lifted off my chest. There was this woman there who had been sobber for 30 years and for some reason yesterday she wanted to drink she really touched my heart because she was talking about how she was plotting and sceaming all day but she fought it and that is how I had felt all day yesterday. one day at a time is all i can handle right now. love you guys thanks for all the kind and hopeful words.