Ouch!

My sponsor is making me do some work which is slapping me in the face with something I have known for years and avoided. My relationship is no good. I thought losing weight, getting sober, becoming active in the community, raising excellent kids would "change"things, but no dice. I KNOW the reason I relapsed (and it is fully my responsibility) is that I couldn't take the stress or acknowledge the truth. Well, sobriety first. My kids are approaching their teens they know what's happening. I deluded myself saying I would stick it out for the kids ,but when they both say, Mom you should divorce Dad, the game is pretty much up. Oh well, no rush. Step by step. At least I'm sober and employable, though I haven't worked in years. I just don't think I want to live the rest of my life being constantly invalidated by his using the drunk card. (ex: yesterday I came home from the morning meeting...breakfast was still on the table, kids hadn't taken their lunches. Hubby slept thru it all. I called him and asked him, in a nice way, if he thought he could get up with the kids each morning or should I stop going to morning meetings. And his response? ta da! Well, I may sleep in, but you were drunk. ) God's (whatever that is) will,not mine so long as I do what I'm supposed to be doing. That's life. No rash decisions...one day at a time. I have noidea how things will play out. But I don't want to be in the same place as I am now 5 years down the road. Or even one. Basically I am very happy with where I'm at. Vicki

Life sure does stink sometimes, doesn't it? I agree with the "God (whatever that is)" . . . I'll freely admit to being an athiest. If religion works for you, that's great, but leave me out of it! If it takes bullying to make him feel better, than so be it. You are the better person for being able to win out over your addictions and deserve the best life possible. As do your kids. They don't need to hear dad saying nasty things to mom. Good luck to all of you! Hugs from NJ. Linda