Up and running

We finally got one computer up and running.I missed you all! In a way this has been a good thing because it broke us of our computer addictions. Also, things haven't been real pretty here. I've had my horrendous mood swings and hot flashes, Zoe has gone totally hormonal and is developing at the Devil's pace (hell is going shopping with a 12 year old for bras!!!), Gordo is geting all of the confusion of needing to be defiant yet still wanting to cuddle, plus the awakening of his sexuality as only a 13 yr. old can, Rick has a new boss and is working like a fiend and literaaly comes home, eats and goes to bed w/o a word, and the dog died. Phewy! Luckily, I'm leveling out, but that doesn't mean returning to normal; more like adjusting to a new body and developing coping skills. Well, at least we all have some previous experience in THAT department! I've flaked off at the gym (ever done the treadmill while having gruesome hot flashes? Ugh!) which is probably the total opposite of what I should be doing. In fact, I'm going back today if for nothing else than stress relief! Surprisingly, I have not gained weight and am maintaining. It's soooo weird...my life is so out of control now (my mantra...I am powerless over my situation, but I am powerful within myself)that I have this feeling my eating is out of control also when it really isn't. I'm used to decades of high stress correlating to overeating, that it seems it's still a perception although not a reality. Old habits die hard, but old thinking patterns die harder! Anyway, enough was enough, so 2 days ago the kids and I went to six flags and rode roller coasters over and over for 12 1/2 hours AWESOME!!! These new ones are heart stoppers! I was so sore the next day, I could hardly walk and I went to sleep at 6:30, but to my credit, so did the kids! It was cathartic. And, a normie wouldn't get this, but I fit easily in every ride with no fear the buckle wouldn't fasten! (last time I fit, but still had the fear). I'm leaving 4/1 to go to LA to see my Mom (Seal Beach) then to the Santa Cruz area and up to San Francisco to have my breasts revised. Oh to see the beach again! I'm renting a PT Cruiser and I am going to thoroughly enjoy myself, bandaged boobies or not! Can't waiy to walk along the lighthouse. And downtown SC. And Fall Creek. My eyesite is getting fuzzy since I hit the big M, so I'm going to the optometrist and will undoubtedly need contacts. To make myself feel better, I'm going to downtown Austin afterwards to buy half price theatre tickets for this weekend, tickets to the Shanghai Quartet next week and a red hat. Yup, I yam, I yam. Loads better than a pizza and beer (or 12) and surprisingly (although not sure about the garlic fries at Boulder Creek Brewery...those are hard to beat), I honestly mean that now. Whoudda thought. And tha hat looks better on me than 50 pounds LOL! I hope all is well with everyone and look forward to catching up. During all of this time, I remodeled my bedroom. I now have an oasis. Sigh...I'll need it...I'll be turning 50 when my kids are 14 and 15! LOL! Gotta love it...now way at 48 I'd be riding roller coasters all day otherwise! Vicki

I am so sorry you lost your dog. My cats are truly my kids, and when one dies I go off the deep end. Hugs. I know what you mean about gaining. I still step on that scale with trepidation and sort of peek out of one eye. I play around with 3-5 pounds up/down, thankfully nothing more than that . . . but the old guilt is there everytime I eat something I really shouldn't. I don't think we'll ever lose that mentality. Have a fabulous day!

Vicki, Welcome back! You were missed.I do enjoy a kindred spirit. I have experience most of the above. My company is heading home today. I am suppose to meet everyone down at the sports bar to watch the Iowa game. I am going to be running late but just as well. I can handle a little of the environment but I really do not want to spend a great deal of time in a bar. things are going to be hectic here too. Going on a cruise March 25th and have a lot to do prior. It will be worth it. I hired a friend who cleans to do my house while I am away. Graduation is 5 weeks after the cruise and I have a million things to do. A good cleaning will free me to concentrate on that. My kids 21yr, 17 yr and 16 yr. So I know all about teens!!! Yep the early hormone stages are a trip. My Mike 16 just got a new used truck so he is in heaven. Maggie 17 yr has senioritis and Andy 21yr is finally leveling out. Now I tell them no reproducing for another 5 yr minimum!!!!! I want to enjoy my Grandma years not raise your kids. Gotta go Catch ya later. Laurie