Hi

Hoping someone is out there. This board will die out without you. Personally I think it is great to have this place to communicate with others. Laurie

Hi Laurie Well I fell off the wagon again.... I am not happy about this but it too is realaty see I can not spell!!! but this is not booze just me Friday night I pulled one I hate myself this is for sure But I can only beat myself up for so long right? Back to AA tomorrow.. Cyndee

Hello Cyndee, Glad you are back. Whats done is done. I am always struggling with the desire but so far so good. 21 months clean. I struggled last Wed with wanting to drink. But, I do not have to pick up a white fob for thinking about it! LOL The best part of not using is that I do not hate myself today.I am afraid to give up that peace of mind. I am not sure if I picked up again I could or would return to the 12 steps. It took me until I was 48 yr old to get there. I have my coffee and cigarettes to deal with. I suppose I will give up the cigarettes again but at the time it was that or something worse. I do feels foolish tho because I quit for 14 yrs!!! I picked my poison and have no willingness to give it up. Not perfect by any means. Knee deep in laundry tonight. I have out of town company coming in next week and it is realy hard for me not to get all crazy and drive the family nuts trying to make everything perfect! I feel like I am going to jump out of my skin wanting to clean. My disease lives in all areas of my life. The next three months will be a challenge. A cruise in 3 weeks with 7 other people 6 under the age of 22. April is full of activity and May brings my daughters graduation. I guess I will have to work very hard to stay in the Just for today mode. Laurie

Yahoo! I did it!!! I made it thru last night without any beer!!! Of course to compensate I ate everthing that wasn't tacked down . . . but then what I ate wasn't toxic! I actually feel human this morning. 1st time in a long long time I've gotten out of bed not feelling like a slug. Oh Happy Monday!!!!!

Good morning Linda! I am usually in slumberland at his hour. Good for you.Do not forget to take it easy. One day at a time. I have to remind myself often because I project. Infact, I am working at it right now. I was up extra late last night because a member on the main board and one on the Fl board were talking suicidal. It was upsetting to say the least. Even after I signed off it kept me up. I woke early and my eyes have the itchy, scratchy feel. I am reved up anyway due to out of town company visiting next week. I will need a nap later.LOL The important thing to remember is that none of this would work out if I was loaded.Better prepare yourself with some healthy snacks. I keep some protien bars, cheese, nuts around just in case. Sometimes I need to chew.Then there are the cigarettes but I will address that another time. Have a most wonderful day!!! Laurie