disgusted

hi, i am someone who never even had a alchol (don't even know how to spell it thats bad****il about 6 months ago...as the days went by it got easier and easier to use it as a way to deal with stress. the last week was not to bad..but today had a major relapse...got absolutely drunk and passed out beside my 3 yr old as he was watching cartoons...i do not want to be this way anymore..i want to stop..i want to also quit using food as a way to cope with feelings...absolutely sabotaging my weight loss gained 25 pounds...joined la weightloss...but can't do nothing till i do deal with my adiction to alchol..i have reached out for help...wanted to do a 30 out patient treatment program...i am on disability and they refuse to pay unless i do intreatment centre.....have no family or friends that can watch my son...don't want him in foster care. i feel so scared alone and discusted with my self...ny mom killed herself when i was seven because of addiction don't want that for my son. Dawn

oh honey. Have you got anyone you're close enough to who'd be willing to take your son for a little bit while you get some help? You know, our "help" system is amazing, its all or nothing. No room for compromise. Sad. Very frustrating. I myself am just beginning to realize that I've got a problem. Family doesn't know, and I live alone. The only thing I can offer you is a big hug from across the miles and hope that you find a way out. Linda

I am sorry to here about your problems. I live in Ohio and we have inpatient programs that allow you to bring your children. Have you tried self help groups or online counseling? Good luck to you Madeline

Dawn, I sure hope you have found someone to watch your child so you can find the help you need. Laurie