Happy?

Yes, I am. Comfortable? NO. I am experiencing some vague uneasiness. I feel disorganized but the lazy side of me is unwilling to address it. Pain being a major motivator for me I feel I am on the brink of doing something about it. I am facing a 6th step! Funny how the very thing we are addressing surfaces in our lives. I really need to do all those little things that when added up are one big thing. I thrive with a certain amount of routine and going out of town last weekend set me up for craziness. If I do not take time to put things in order soon I will start getting squirrely. This is what non- addict do not understand. My husband will say, Do it in the morning or later and he does not understand that I will take it to extremes and put everything off until I am in a funk and overwhelmed or in a manic state doing chores until 3 am. Just glad I can see it today and have tools to work with. Laurie

Interesting. That's an aspect of my life I've never given any thought to. While I'll admit that when it comes to housekeeping I'm Oscar Madison, when it comes to doing things "on time" I'm a fanatic. In fact, I'm early to a fault. I start work at 8:30, I'm usually there at 7. Just to avoid traffic? That's my excuse. Is there something else behind it? If I've got a doctor's appt, I'm sitting in the parking lot a half hour early, just so I won't be late. And don't you dare upset my little schedule, I go totally nuts! Very very interesting. Linda

Oh yes, I can be obsessive compulsive. I live to extremes. I can be as lazy and procrastinate or hyper vigilant. I just finished doing a major shopping trip to the Walmart for groceries and made dinner for 7 people. My house is messy, laundry to do bills to address. However, I am going to try to relax with my husband and watch a movie. Call my sponsor and make a list of what I need to do this week to get back into a routine I feel comfortable with. I have to plan but not be a slave to my lists. I am always striving for balance. I am blessed because we can afford for me to quit work and I have devoted myself to getting my act together. It requires a lot of disapline on my part because shoping is a real area I act out. I could have quit work years ago if I did not shop so much. This is why having a 12 step program is so vital to me. My disease affects everything I do. I have not drank or taken meds for 19 months. It is all the other stuff I still have to be aware of on a daily basis or I will get stressed and use again. My family is happy because I am a lot easier to live with. Laurie