HOW COMMON IS IT TO SUB ONE ADDICTION FOR ANOTHER POST WLS?

I'm 10-30lbs. to goal, post RNY, and for the last 4 1/2 months my wt has fluctuated within 5 pounds! I KNOW THAT I WOULD EASILY BE AT THE -30 pound range (ultimate goal wt)...if a majority of my calories weren't "wasted" on wine...when everyone else is asleep!!! I've questioned myself on and off if I may have a problem, however was quick to rationalize my private behaviors. HOWEVER, my family and hubby have commented/confronted me on a few occasions since than, and I was quick to deny/rationalize/and ultimately I think they believed what they really wanted to hear/vs really seaking the truth! (Honestly, I know it's gotten worse, and that they see it to, AND THAT NONE OF THEM HAVE HAD THE GUTTS TO SPEAK UP AGAIN). I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING TO MYSELF IS WRONG/DISTRUCTIVE/AGAINST EVERY HEALTHY PRINICIPLE/HOPE FOR ANY POTENTIAL WLS PERSON. I'm feeling GUILTY that I was given this GIFT of WLS and that I've been abusing it AND my body!!!!! Yet, I'm struggling...and I think I replacing comfort foods with alcohol! SCARED/KNOWS I NEED TO STOP/YET, HONESTLY NOT READY TO GIVE IT UP YET..............

Daisy, Admitting you have a problem is the first thing and you admit you know it. It sounds like you have a caring family. It does require willingness on your part. You do not have to self destruct again. Substituting alcohol for food will get you back to zero. As in dead. Sounds harsh I know but it is true.I was not one of those people who ended up in jail or rehab. I simply was unmanagable at home always in some kind of crisis or misery and lonely even when surrounded by fun and loving people. There was a big hole in me I could never fill. When under stress which is impossible not to be with a family I wanted something to take the edge off it. Food, shopping, alcohol, medicine. After surgery food was not an option. A friend in recovery invited me to a meeting. In my case it was NA. They said we do not care what or how much you use only that you have the desire to do something different. That spoke volumes to me. I listened at meetings for weeks before I "joined". I started hearing the similarities in the feelings others expressed. Not how they got there but how they felt and how they deal with it. For the first time in my life I did not feel alone with this mind set and saw that I could be happy if I was willing to take the leap of faith and reach out. Everyone has to do that for themselves. The truth is if everyone who needed help got it you would fill stadiums with people everyday. However, most people do not seek out others or help they often give up 5 minutes before the miracle. I tried most of the things that have ultimately helped me alone but always fell back to self abusive behavior. Now I have a support group and it works. I wish you the best and invite you to e mail me if you would like. Laurie

Daisy, I'm in the exact same boat you are. I'm 3 years out and at goal, so no problem with the weight. But I enjoy my beer way too much. I know I do. There are times I find the better part of a six pack gone and I don't remember drinking it. And, unfortunately, I'm doing the same thing I used to do with my multitude of diets . . . . Monday. Monday I'll stop. Well, you know THAT story. From the reading I've done on-line, its call Transference. You transfer one addiction (food) to another (alcohol). And apparently its not uncommon for bypass patients to face these struggles. I can only hope that one day I'll have the guts to get thru one night without . . . and then worry about the next one. And I wish you the same luck. At least you've got family to confront you. I live alone. Take my phone off the hook so no one will know I'm drinking. Sad. Why are we so dam stupid? That's what I'd like to know. We've come so far and yet we find a way to screw things up.

I have heard it said and take it to heart that the disease of addiction wants us dead but will settle for us loaded. I realy do relate to what both of you have said. It is hard to see your struggle because it is mine too. I found some peace and hope you will too. Laurie

I too am with you on this one and I know that this is killing me .... I now am in the early stages of fiborous (sp) and I still screw up nopt everyday but close enough.... 1 drink is one drink to many for me but when I drink I never stop at 1...it only take 1 to feel it but me I drin****il I am numb and sick the next day... I too am about 30 pounds away from goal and know that the wine and vodka is the cause of my weight loss stop... I have started seeing a phycaligist (sp) about 3 weeks ago and now I take anti depressant this seems to help but I still crave it and it ****** me off that I am so out of control at times and can't be normal why??? I don't know. Good Luck to us all Cyndee

Cyndee, I feel for you I really do. Are you a 12 stepper? Do you have a support group? If so stay connected. If not consider it. I really do not think why me. It is a waste of my energy. I have a strong family history of addiction. I am just so darn grateful to not be alone with it. That was the worst part of active addiction for me. The lonliness. Feeling no one understood my pain. You can do it just for today.... Laurie

Jeasus! I don't remember seeing post about alcohol abuse just 2 years ago. I am almost 2 years out as well and I have also found myself replacing food with wine. What the hell are we doing!!! I'm so sad about my behaviour. I hate that I know exactly what I am doing but do it anyway. I'm smart enough to know I'm replacing food with alcohol but do it anyway. This is scary. Why are we so so *** &^ up? God - to be normal? I'm sorry my response is less helpful and more comisitory but this is where I am.

You are certainly not alone.I think there are a lot of us out there. laurie