New Day

Sober this morning TG. Last night was a hard one. They don't come often, but when they do...Needless to say, I ate more than I should. In fact, to the point of unpleasantness. I really hope I can modify this behavior. Great day this morning already. True it's wet and gloomy outside, but there's that wonderful after rain smell in the air...akin to fresh mowed grass. Kitty gave me a massage, which I notice actually borders on hurting now; didn't bother me when I was fat! Everyone's asleep, house is quiet, coffee's on. Sigh.....I'll try to remember this moment of tranquility later today when the kids are bickering, the football is blaring and the dogs won't stop barking! You know how we're supposed to be modest and not compare? Couldn't help but notice yesterday that I am now one of those people at the gym who go regularly and actually look like it. How well I can remember being 370 pounds, being embarrassed to be seen in my t-shirt and shorts panting away, but too desperate for change to be dissuaded. Then there were the average everyday people, and then there were THEM, the fit, good looking ones with exercise clothes which actually were made for exercise and matched. So yesterday, for the first time, I tried one of those t back shelf bra nike tops and real matching exercise pants. Having had water finders instead of bosoms for so long, was sure I was going to fall out to my knees, but the puppies stayed put. I felt nakey. Happens my son was waiting at a table at the front of the gym. When I walked out, he looked at me in surprise, then hurriedly averted his eyes and pretended he didn't know me. Goota love those early teens! I didn't look out of the ordinary in any way. In fact, that was what was so weird. I looked like I belonged. I was one of THEM! Whoudda thought in a million, zillion years!?! Vicki