Food drunk

OK, now I have to vent. You know when I had my relapse in August, I immediately had hubby take me to a detox. I had 4 large beers and was scared to death. Not only do I know a normie alkie, if there is such a thing, does not know if he can quit after a 2 day binge; he/she may well lose another year or two or maybe forever, and take someone with them while they're at it. With wlsers, it's even worse. Don't know if you read that article about the woman who had 2 drinks, got in her car, caused a wreck and killed a kid. Alcohol goes straight to our bloodstream. 4 beers and I was over .02. I know I do not have the luxury of another drunk in me. I could drink a six pack and it could kill me one way or the other. However, I immediately stopped it in its' tracks; I didn't want that relapse, especially after 10 years, taking me out. So even though I wasn't totally wasted, I asked hubby to take me to the hospital. No way I'm going to lose 210 pounds only to be a drunk or a good looking corpse! And no way I'm taking my family down with me. Now I remember every single thing from the get go. I've gotten bills from 2 Docs so far who said they did a psych eval on me. I know the one and only Doc I saw. Today I got a bill from a doc whom the insurance had already paid, asking me for a portion. I called insurance and told them I had never heard of the guy, he had never seen me and gave them the name of the doc who attended me and his trainee who observewd. Turns out this doc is a woman! I never talked to any woman except the woman who took my vitals upon arrival, the nurses who worked the ward daily, all day, and the woman who dispensed meds. The first guy I remember spoke to me for a minute and told me Dr. Loving was going to handle my case, then billed for a visit. He got paid, too. How dare they take advantage of people when they are down? I am shaking angry. Are some docs going in, getting patient info, submitting insurance claims, thinking we are too drunk to remember or too ashamed to report them? And when the insurance co. reverses the claim(s), of course, what do you think they're going to say? That they made a mistake? NO! They are going to claim I was too drunk to remember! It would be interesting to have them try to describe me, as my surname is Chineses, but I am a 5'10" green eyed blonde white woman! I am so livid, I'm trembling. So what did I do? I ate. And I ate. I am so full now I am miserable. Sure, I ate good stuff, a pear, f/f cottage cheese,some zuchinni/tomato concoction, about 8 pcs. hard candy (sucking it did comfort me...a reversion to infancy maybe LOL!). But it wasn't what I ate, or how much I ate. It was how I ate it. When I held that container of f/f cottage cheese and ate out of it, it felt EXACTLY how it would have felt had it been a gallon of ice cream. And as I was furtively sucking on that candy, I might of well have been sucking on a beer can! So now, I'm not only still angry, resentful and my nerves are shaking, but I am in addition, miserably full . My sponsor always says, "if you think drinking will solve your problem, then by all means do it!" Had food calmed my frustration, so be it, but, like alcohol, it is no longer an option. And I will not forget how I feel this very moment. (btw, sponsor is on a business trip, so you guys get the brunt of it) A painful, but definitely invaluable lesson. One well worth the price, even at this moment. Thought I was past that behavior, but guess I'm not. And I resent having to be outted to so many people now because they have to investigate, 3 way conference between me and the doc,how I have been robbed of my expectancy that the hospital and docs were a safe place to turn, etc. etc. Have to work on those resentments, too. Cripes!!! Everytime I get near to perfect, I get knocked off my pedastool. Oh well, guess that's how we learn and get stronger.Tell you the truth, I would hate to be stagnant. Anyway, I hope this post somehow helped them to resolve to watch for same behaviors, different substances. Could've held on and vented to hubby, but he doesn't even understand having one addiction, much less two! Now you all, being wlsers, and being on the addictions board, probably can understand me in this instance 100x better than normie hubby of over a decade can, even tho' we don't "know" each other. So glad this board is getting active again. Vicki