Ultimatum/life's terms

I NEVER give ultimatums, but I did yesterday. Told hubby he is either for me or against me and he'd better make up his mind before he got up this morning. And if he couldn't be for me, I planned on sticking with him, but would have to move out for a few months to protect my sobriety. Well, guess who is Mr. merry sunshine this morning? He brought me sui mai (Chinese steamed dumplings), kissed me, had a smile on his face! Hmmm, I was hoping for this, but prepared for the other. Now to see if it lasts.... Anyway, I got up this morning and the sun was shining. Went downstairs, put on the coffee. Let the Bassets out, patted them on the head and gave them their food and water. Came inside, snapped open a can of cat food which elicited the usual meeeeoooows, fed Flower as she rubbed back and forth across my legs. Went outside to fetch the paper and chatted with the neighbor who was outside smoking a cig. Came in, put on a Dave Koz cd, poured a cup of coffee, took out all of the ads from the Sunday paper, and there are a lot today! Settled into a deep chair before everyone in the house woke up, picked up my black marker and went through the ads, circling everything that looked interesting, probably none of which I will buy. Aaaaah. Life is good. Imagine. Had I not had wls, lost weight and gotten sober, I would, odds against odds, be dead. Best case scenario, my feet would hurt as soon as they touched the floor. My very first conscious thought, after saying oh f-- because I was either hungover or still drunk, would be guilt, demoralization and total lack of self-esteem. I'd have to think what of the very limited stretchable clothes I would wear. For that matter, I'd have to think whether I had any beer left over from the night before and, if not, how to get some more. I'd be unhappy and unavailable and set the lousy mood for the family, for the day. As it is, I'm upbeat, in a happy mood, despite Gordon is still moping over a girl. He also managed to delete my internet access and I took over 30 min. getting it re-established. I got on the scale and, gasp, oh crud (the expletive was far worse than that, I assure you!), I am up a whopping 5 pounds. Reality check: no one gains 5 pounds overnight! Body check- fingers are like sausages about to split, haven't gone to do my business much in the past 2 days despite heavier than normal eating. Had a whole bag of cheese popcorn last night. Still within range. Relax...jus****ch it today, drink lots of water and walk, walk walk. Hubby is in a good mood, Raiders are playing. Does life get any better than this? Is it really worth sticking junk in our mouths, downing a 12 pack or sitting on our butts and not moving and have to give all of this up? I couldn't even recognize all of these nuances of life when I was MO and wasted. Wls, losing weight and AA has not only given me a body and lifestyle of which I can be proud, it has opened my eyes to a whole new world. It has given me back my life; a life I never even knew I had! Is someone feeling grateful to be sober or what? Vicki

I enjoyed reading your post... Thanks I must say you helped me out tonight.... I am happy to be sober today/tonight.. Before I sat here and look this site up I really wanted to have a drink... I have been wanting to drink for the past few days but haven't thank God for that and thank you. You had me thinking what I went thru while beening drunk and what I put my family thru as well.. And ain't pretty... But today I got up had some coffee and a cig. and cleaned the kitchen that my daughter didn't do last night...ggrr and came in and checked my e-mail before moving my furniture around in the family room and decorating the Christmas tree in there and putting up decorations of the sort. After that I went in the Formal living room and put up that tree (not done there yet but hey after about 9 1/2 hours of cleaning and decorating I think I deserve a brake to check out this site.. Cyndee