Need some support

I am and have been drinking every night for the past few months. I am a strong person and yet I feel weak. I have the support of my loving husband and family. I know I can do this and I know I am not alone. So why do I drink? Why do I worry my DH and kids why why why??? I have read often on this web site about substituting (sp) one addiction for another(food v alcohol) I am not ready to attend AA, I think I am ready to seek profentional help. I have had alot of stress over the past 2/3 months 1. MIL in hospital with heart problems 2. Eldest son jailed for something he did not do, he was with ME at the time of the algeged incident. 3. My eldest brother died of cancer. 4. My father has been addmitted to hospital with heart complications and strokes, twice within the last 2 months. Reason for this post 1. To read this over and over unill I can understand this. 2. To ask for help and advice. 3. So that others do not feel alone or afraid to share their experiences and hopefully seek help. Thank you all Jackie

Hi Jackie, It takes a lot of strength to post what you are feeling and doing on the board. Yes, there is a "but". Sometimes we are strong to our own detriment. The 12 step programs are not about weakness or strength but courage. I have seen counselors for many years but I could only afford at best once a week. Usually once every 2 weeks. It wasn't the once in a couple of weeks that kept me abstinent or sane it was the day to day connection with people who were there. I've been trying to do the over the internet meetings but it just isn't the same. Thanks for posting Jackie. I know what I need to do now. . . . . Get thy self to a meeting. The people there are just people with problems like you and me. You don't have to go and immediately become a member. Go to 6 meetings and see if AA is for you. This is not only your life but your families life that is affected by addiction, whether it's food, alcohol, spending, drugs the addictions will only travel to different areas until you surrender it. God Bless you on your journey. Keep me updated. e-mail me from my profile. Elaine a grateful member of more than one 12 step program.

Hi jackie...how are ya! I'll pray for ya. I have been in recovery for addiction for 3and half years...if ya need to talk let me know...michelle

Not doing to well just now, just found out my dad needs a triple heart by-pass. My dad is 73 yrs old and a heavy smoker, I am finding it all very stressful just now. Dh is being very supportive and trying hard to get me through this. I have spoke to my gp about my low mood (I did not tell him about the drinking, I know I should have but I just couldn't) he has upped my anti-depresents so hopefully I will feel the benifits of that soon. Thanks for the support I really need all the support I can get just now. Jackie

Jackie, I'm a been there done that..still fighting.. winning most days..and losing a few here and there, yet I'm a heck of a lot better off than I was 6 months ago. I did tell my doctor about the drinking.. I also was taking anti-depressents. I was not aware that alcohol will make the anti-depressents work against you, instead of helping with depression, the two will cause you to become even more depressed. I was NOT going to go to any AA meetings.. Those were for Alcoholics Yet I finally did attend a few.. Best thing I've ever done.. I heard and saw first hand what this continued behavior consequences would be. Thanks to many wonderful people and their touching stories and testomonies I've found strength to fight against this beast. I don't want to wake up one day and find that I've lost everything near and dear to me, I learned that this disease is not predjudice, doesn't matter one bit if you are rich, poor male, female, black, white, educated or non-educated skinny, fat.. nothing.. No one is above it. I think the thing thats the most overwhelming and confusing to me was that this is SO not me.. I never drank??? Never wanted to or enjoyed it? I still don't, I didn't drink because of the high or buz, I did so I didn't have to deal with what was going on in my world. It became an horrible visious circle, I would of rathered stayed fat than drunk. I thank God everyday for my good friends, supportive family and Jesus Christ who I handed this problem over too. Thanks for sharing.. I'll be praying for all of us who battle this.

I have been to a lot of narcotics anonymous meetings, and although I don't agree with everything they say, it always feels good to go. People are messed up and they admit it, they talk about what they've been struggling with lately, and they tell some stories to make you feel pretty good about your life. Plus it's free. If you have access to AA or NA or something, the people are so loving you can't help but feel better, whether you're an "alcoholic" or not. But I do feel for you and will be wishing you the best.