verbal abuse

It's easy for me to say.... but you need to protect your child. It is your DUTY to protect your child from harm, even and especially harm from his father. He would be better off with NO father than what he has now. I'm sorry if that sounds harsh. But is is the absolute truth. Nancy

wow.......time to move on with your "own " life.......

Tracie, I am currently walking in your shoes and I know the confusion and pain of what to do. What makes my case interesting is I am a Therapist Trainee who counsels batterers and work in law enforcement and this is not supposed to happen to me right? But guess what it did. Your husband sounds very much like my boyfriend. He has rages over traffic or basically anything he can not control. Everyone is stupid but him and if they would just do what he tells them to all would be well. I spent so much of my time trying to "fix" him or at least find out what I could do to help. The answer is nothing. I did not create this and I should not endure it. Big talk, but a very hard action. In my case when I decided to have WLS and approached my boyfriend he just about lost his mind. I was told things I would not say to Satan himself. Basically I was lazy taking the easy way out etc, but truat me it was not so nicely put. But I have "fat girl I'll take anything disease". I do not stand up for what I think is right on how I should be treated because I don't think I could get any better. Finally, one night we were argueing (actually he was yelling and I was trying to calm him down) and he decided he was leaving the house. I asked where he was going and according to him I touched him and stood in his way. He pushed me in the kitchen and I fell against the sink/counter area. You would think that was my last straw, but I still could fix him right? I just need to try harder. After all I was the one who stood in his way. Ya right. No one has the right to harm you in any way. And the others are right your son will learn this behavior and repeat it. Much like my boyfriend, your husband does not like himself and choses to take it out on you. You can not help this man and it will get more dangerous as he loses more and more control. I feel with you because after all this insight I am still in my relationship seeking the strenght to get out. I know for myself it is because I do not think I can do any better and my fear of being alone over shadows my judgement. I have had friends tell me I'm stupid for staying . (which on a side note is never a good thing to say, support is what we need not more questioning of our judgement. We already know we are in a bad situation). There is a wonderful book that might help you get some insight I found it useful The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans and It Could Happen to Anyone by Alyce LaViolette & Ola Barnett Finally, remember these men do not start out like this. It is a slow process which developes over time. They pick women like us well. For me my mother just died suddenly, I had major surgery where I lost my ability to have children most likely (they still are on the fence) and 2 weeks after meeting him my aunt (my mother's twin sister) suddenly died. He was my hero. Within 4 months and 2 days I lost the 3 most important things to me and he was prince charming. He was living with me within days because he could not be away from me while he kept his stuff in his apartment and I could not bare to be alone because I would have to deal with my loses. In July since I needed to move we got a place together and its been hell on earth cause now I'm under his roof. I will get out, but its a long road and if you need someone to talk to please contact me. I may not have the answers, but I will help you find what is best or you and your son. I'm also a great listener

P.S. 30% of all relationships have some sort of domestic violence at sometime, so your are not alone.