1st time posting on this board.....

Well here goes...I'm a 44 yr. old mother of 2 (my daughter is 17 & my son is 14). I'm a survivor of sexual/mental/physical abuse at the hands of the man I loved with all my heart. I finally had enough & moved with my kids to another state & lived with my parents (where we still live in hiding). Anyways, the last time he hurt me was by far the worst...I was left in a ditch on the side of the road; left to die. I was beaten, raped, burned (cigarette), sodomized, spat on, urinated & deficated on. He did every vile thing imaginable to me. I managed to crawl to the road & passed out in the middle of the road. A motorist spotted me & called 911. I was rushed by ambulance to the nearest hospital & was in intensive care for almost a week. This was all because I went to my mom's house to be at her birthday. He said that he was more important than her birthday! Then he accused me of cheating on him!!! (he also had a crack cocaine & alcohol problem). Long story short, when I got well, we (myself, my kids & parents), quietly left in the middle of the night & never looked back. If I hadn't have moved, I firmly believe that he would have finished me off, eventually. Now it's been almost 11 years & I have never dated anyone yet!! I use my weight as my protective shield. The only man that really treats me good is a man that everyone says is gay or at the very least, bi. He was married to a woman, but he's divorced now. I must not be too well, because I'm seriously thinking of dating him..he has asked me out before, but I've always refused him. He treats me like gold & respects me for who I am, overweight and all. What would any of you do? Should I give him a try, or am I opening the door to be hurt? (oh, he has a 9 yr. old son, too). Suzy

Suzy I am so sorry to hear about all your pain. I have been through a lot to but not as bad as you. I am proud of you for being strong enough to leave that sort of situation for you and your kids sake I know it is hard to leave someone you love no matter how bad they are. As for your new interest no one can tell you what is right for you but you. Although I will say no man will ever be able to give you happiness that is something you have to find on your own then if you meet someone they can be extra joy but not your joy. That way no one can ever steal your joy again because you own it. If he is not on the same spiritual or sexual level as you I would stay away though. That is just my opinion and you have to make your own decisions but I would hate to see you hurt more. Although he may be a great guy who would be perfect for you. Have you talked to him about the homosexual issue or are you just assuming he may be. Well hang in there and email me if you ever want to talk. Have you had your surgery yet or are you just looking into it? My screen name is reetracy and my email is [email protected]

I don't come here that often because it is a very slow board. I am sorry about how you were hurt. I am glad you are safe now though. Have you been in therapy? As far as dating this man. I think if I were in your situation I would have a talk with him. Ask him where he is coming from and then tell him where you are coming from. Honesty is always good. Get everything in the open. I hope to talk to you soon. Lisa