Hello

Hi I am new to this board,I have seen it and lurked a bit but not posted!!I have always been around abuse since I was a child and it seems cant get away from it!! I did get the guts to leave my husband of 10 years after my surgery(He is a very bad alcoholic) but he still comes to my house every weekend so I cant find a life maybe I know I need to tell him to stay away but it is sooo much easier said then done!!He is my 3rd husband so yeah it feels like I am oh so much the failure!!I have 5 children(none of them his)had them before I meet him,and they are all about grown(my baby is a senior)I am soo ready to be just me but it is a very scary thought,I have taken care of someone since I was 15 years old that is over half of my life!! Well sorry didnt mean to write a short story!!!LOL Well anyway just wanted to say Hello...so Hello ! Have a great day! Lori

Hello Lori, You will gradually gain the strength to sever the ties. The biggest step was leaving him in the first place. The hard part is over! My mom started getting empty nest syndrome and her and my step dad became foster parents and they are doing great with that and now have 4 foster kids. Good luck.

Hi Lori, I can totally relate to you my husband of 10yrs is an alcoholic as well he has not been abusive in over a year but the mental anguish I go through with him is worse than any violence. He will do good a while then mess up. He is in the Army and overseas right now and I also got a backbone after my surgery and I told him I wanted a divorce but now he is calling and emailing me being very sweet. He is not drinking now because the army will not let them while they are overseas but I am sure when he comes home it will start again. I will pray for you and please anytime you want to talk email me [email protected] or [email protected] I will be praying for you. I am sure we both will get stronger as we loose our weight. Hang in there. Your friend Mandy Tracy

Hi Lori, I have been blessed with a wonderful husband so I can't totally relate to what you are dealing with. He's my knight on a white horse. Unfortunately, the damage was done long before he came along so he has had to live with the results of abuse along with me even though he never got beat once a week if needed or not. As far as you being a failure? No way .... you have been failed by those you have loved and trusted. It's the abuse that has you convinced that you're to blame. It'll do it every time. At one point in my life I felt I was responsible for people starving around the world. I'm a good one for making lists. Make a list of all that is wrong in your life. One at a time, give each one serious thought and decide if it's something you can or could control. If not, scratch it off the list. I believe that when you've gone through the list, you'll find that there are very few, if any, of them that you are responsible for. You can then start to take control of your life and no one else or the problems they cause. I have to agree with the others. You have made the first move toward finding yourself and you will. With time and practice, comes strength. You have my prayers for strength and wholeness and He does answer them. I am living proof. {{{{HUGS}}}} Sandy