Hello everyone I am a survivor looking for a therapist
I am a survivor of sexual emotional and physical abuse I am preop but am scheduled to have surgery on 1/20/05 I am experiencing a lot of fears many of which were expressed by other posters ie. the fear of male attention loss of comfort from my friend food etc. My biggest concern is that I feel like I will be exposed to danger I can not hide behind my protecter fat. I have always felt in control of my external enviroment as a big woman I feel that after I have lost weight I will be at the mercy of the world I need a therapist in nyc that can help me to deal with these issues rather than working them out alone I benefitted from a year of surgery after the birth of my daughter in 1997 I have DID does that ever go away? Thank you we have all been through a great deal and we are blessed to be here still dedicated to lifes journey God Bless Us All
Hi DeeDee,
I haven't been on the boards in a while and honestly didn't know that this forum existed. I'm glad that it does because I truly believe that there is a link between obesity and any type of abuse-especially sexual abuse. I had WLS just this past August and have been in therapy off and on since 1987. I am currently seeing a therapist regarding my past sexual abuse issues and am also in a group for sexual abuse and sexual assault survivors....I live in Atlanta,Ga.-so, while I'm not able to recommend a therapist for you-I just want to really encourage you with these issues.
I remember telling my group and my therapist before my surgery that sexual abuse is a humongous issue to deal with and obesity is also a gargantuan issue to try and tackle. The strands run side by side and are long and very deep. I just encourage you to do whatever it takes to deal with both. I also struggle a great deal with the "losing weight" and being attractive and over-exposed. It's sooooo hard to get that "fat person" image out of my head-about myself. Most sexual abuse survivors either turn to alcohol, drugs or food as a coping mechanism to deal with all of the feelings,emotional garbage,etc.....Not having food to turn to is the hardest thing in the world for me!!!!!! You asked if the DID ever goes away-I experienced that myself as well. While I am not a therapist-just a survivor that can truly relate-I can say that with time and lots of therapy(however you choose to work through it) that it can get better-and yes, I truly believe can also go away at some point. The most important thing that I can tell you is to take good care of yourself. If you have a sexual assault center in your area, call them and see if they know of any really good therapists/groups that you can get connected with before and after your weightloss surgery. I can't stress enough how much you could benefit from the support of others who have gone through similar experiences. While my group members haven't necessarily had to deal with the "obesity" issue, they can relate in many ways to the entire "body issue." Well, I hope this helps and God Bless! Pam Lopez
Hi,
I am preop too and that is basically what the therapist said and what i know is also true. So it is hard to face this..i am afraid i will jeapardize myself because of it and fail at this even. So i don't know..i can tell you I have been in therapy before and i am going to go back..i am going to have my friend refer me to mental health if nothing else to deal with some of these issues. I can relate to food being my friend for all these years. I hide behind the fat and jokes and everything for fear someone can see the real me...and then i am not so sure i even know who that is
Peggy
Hi Dee Dee,
I just came here this morning so by now you have already had your surgery. I am hoping all went well and you're on the losing side.
I found a therapist through my PCP. She has been wonderful and brought me through a lot of garbage that I have been able to throw away. I strongly suggest that you find one that can help you.
I hope an pray you find your answers.
{{{{HUGS}}}}
Sandy
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