Glad I found this!

Hello everyone. Just thought I'd come on here and at least post. I was sexually abused by my father and his friends from the time i was very young (before kindergarten I believe****il I was 14. It is hard to type that out. I am currently in therapy and I am finding I have such a hard time talking about any of this with her. I am awaiting approval from United Healthcare for the surgery. I can't wait to begin living life again. I was very normal weight growing up. Then, it seems all the sudden I began gaining weight and then I couldn't stop gaining. Now, I am stuck in this Morbidly Obese body and can't get out. I am living in Jacksonville, Florida with my partner of 5 years, Susan. We have a 10 year old daughter and our lives are so wonderful we want to be around for it. Susan is also having the surgery! So, our daughter will get to see us get healthy!! What a blessing. Well, I will stop by and check these messages often. Thank you all for sharing your stories. Helps to know we aren't alone.

I know exactly how you feel about being trapped in a big body. Most sexually abused children grow up to be obese as a form of protection. These issues must be dealt with in order to be successful in using our new tool. I to am seeing a therapist and working on my issues so that mind and emotions can move along with the weight lose. I don't want to risk sabbotaging my efforts. Best of luck to you......... (((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))) Sonya

I know how hard it is to put into words. I told my Mother and Father that I forgave them for the bad treatment that I suffered when I was a child and as an adult. He tried to constantly sexually abuse me, but I kept fighting him and he kept beating me, that was because he wanted to do it the under handed way, not in the open for everyone to see. She blamed me for the attention he paid me and knew what it was for and to ease her frustration, she beat me too. To try mask my small waistline and large bust and hips, I ate and ate to try to hide my body from everybody; including all men. I was always ashamed when a boy paid me any attenion. I, too am tired of this body and ready to live again. I am half way through a six month diet regimen for Humana and hoping for a speedy approval! Sincerely, Mary Johnson

I have suffered physical, emotional and mental abuse my entire life. My life has been living with alcoholics and very abusive men. My father abused me and then I married someone just like my father. I was married for 24 years to this man I loved so dearly. I finally got myself into therapy and left him. One of the hardest things I have had to do. I am starting to get my self esteem back and feel good about myself. Getting the weight off will help also. If any of you are interested in looking at my web site please go in take a look and email me if you like. The site is: angelwings1954.tripod.com

I was abused from my first memory; I thought it was the way things were. I tried to "pick up my feelings so others could not step on them", but I never figured out how. Today, 4 bad marriages and in a really good one later, I am still afraid of men andhave big trust issues. I have a real problem in being in public alone. Eating a meal alone at a restaurant is painful and the results are that I inhale my food, not even taking time to chew. I would rather go through a drive-in and sit in the truck and eat. I stay at home, have no friends and get very anxious when the neighbor lady comes over every day to see me and share a cup of tea. I do not have a job and I will only work from home because it is too traumatic to have the male employees talk to me. My wonderful husband thinks I just am happy to stay home and I can't hurt him by telling him again that I am afraid. He wants me to go back into real estate but I CAN NOT do that. I was happy when I gained the weight at first because then maybe I wouldn't be sexy and attract the unwanted attention. Now I can't do anything that I love to do because I am too big. Including be a wife to my husband and a joy to my children. Don't let yourself get this deep into depression, seek out help and move on - being petrified of people and living a life in hiding is not the way to be.