Hello

Hi, I'm alittle younger then most, Not that that is a bad thing But, A friend from the site told me about this part of the webiste.... I was molested when I was younger, It didn't last long but, It still effected me. My step brother, Who is/was much older then me sexually abused me only a few times, And I personally believe that he stopped because I would get sick after every time and he would get upset. I was 9 at the time... And I'm 16 now, Soon to be 17. I never told anyone about what happend until about 2 years ago. I'm the adoptive one, And many times through out my life I have been told that I'm "Foreign blood". Of course... That hurt very bad. But, I got over it and never let it phase me, Or tried not to any ways. So, When I finally told my father about what my step brother had did, I wrote him a note, He told me he would talk to me about it later on... He never did. So, I told my mother, Again I wrote a note... I was more scared to tell her because He was her son, Her youngest son, And she always took his side in things. She blaimed me at first. She told me I should have known better. My parents never talked about "Good touch, Bad touch" and at the time, I was told to do what he said, So... I did. So after telling my parents things changed... I changed. My dad hardly hugs me any more. It makes me feel like it's my fault, He hardly touches me. It's like he is afraid I'm going to say he molested me too. Me and my mom don't have a close relationship no more... We fight constantly, Mostly about my step brother. I have to see him alot, He lives down the street. They don't understand how bad it is for me to see him. The last 2 years, I have had many panic attacks when I feel he has came to close to me, And I have many nightmares. I have flashbacks, And it's just something they don't seem to care about. I guess over time, I ate food and gained weight to make him stop doing what he was doing. But, Also, It was to protect myself from everyone. I have a hard time being around people, Whether it's because I'm scared or embarrassed. I'm very shy... And before anything ever happend I wasn't. I guess to this day, I feel I was to blame, That's at least how everyone else makes me feel. I guess I need to forget about it, But... It's hard. Frances

It is not your fault, Your parents need counceling and so do you, you seem to be handeling the past well but your family is not. I was never sexualy abused but I grew up with a drunk abusive Dad. Please find help with this.

Frances! I had no idea!!!!!

I am almost 34 years old and have been a victim of sexual abuse. It has taken me most of my life to deal with what happened and how my family reacted to me telling about it. I know exactly how you feel. My grandfather started when I was 5, and it didn't end until I was about 14. No one believed me, even though my mother knew that he had molested my cousins. So, I visit my grandmother when he is not around. I maintain a superficial relationship with my mother, but we are not really very close. I have had two years of psycho therapy and I take anti-depressants. I have had to completely re-vamp the way i react in a relationship. i was taking out my past on my poor, sweet husband. But, I guess the main thing I want to pass on is that you can put this behind you. You can't ignore it or cover it up. You must deal with it head on, but then move on with your life. I would look into some counciling. No matter how long ago this happened, it is still very much fresh in your mind. You need to stay away from him. And as far as your parents are concerned, you need to decide what kind of relationship you need with them to be happy in life. Once you get out on your own, things will be much better. Try to hold on til then, but please get some help now.

If you are still in school, you should really talk with your counselor. They have alot more resources than one would think. Plus they are a neutral 3rd party that has your best interests in mind. They can put you in touch with social services that will find individual therapy for you and family therapy for you and your family. Sometimes whether your family likes it or not. You should take action while you are young so you can get it behind you and go on to live, really live, rather than exist in hopes that some day things will change. Dont let anyone beat you down and make you think that this is your fault. Think about it, how could this be your fault? You were 9 years old. 9 year old children are not sexy or provocative. No child on this planet walks around with a sign on their back that says "do me"!! Your parents need to pull their heads out of their ass and quit worrying about how they look or feel about having given birth to a child molester and worry about the damage the child molester has already and will continue to cause. If I were you I would be thankful for "foriegn blood" that made me different than him!! I realize it has been a while since you posted this, I hope things have changed for you. Be Strong!! Best wishes Michelle