my husband has bi polar

 ok so my husband has good days and bad days im 5 weeks and 2 days post op rny and he says all i think about is how i can spend money i really want to star****er aerobics next month to help me with joint issues anyways he hasnt always been like this some days hes supportive some days all we seem to do is argue is there anything i can do to get through his low days i dont know what goes through a bi polar persons mind when they are in their low periods please help

That has to be difficult to live that way. I'm not familiar with bipolar myself so I would suggest you get on the internet and read as much as you can about it. If he is still having such dramatic swings it sounds like he may need different or an adjustment to his meds. From what little I have read it seems they usually can keep it on a fairly even keel with the right med combo. Still tho read everything your can on it, the more you know the easier it's going to be to know when to bring things up with him. I wish you the best of luck and hang in there!

my sister has very volatile mood swings.  The best thing I have found is to  practice not being swept up in them.  I imagine my self with armor.  I tell myself she is being crazy right now and what she is saying is a result of her volatility.  I don't participate when she is like that.  I don't engage her while she is ranting or out of control.  I maintain my calm and let her rage wash away.  I don't let her drag me into her drama.  It is hard to do and I am not perfect.  I have been working on it a long time.  You may not be able to get the support you need for your weight loss from him.  He may simply not have it to give.  You need to worry about your needs right now.  Seek support from others.  You can't help him until you are in a good, supported place.

hi Sarah,

I have been dx'd with bpd as well.  Unlike others that call us Crazy or acting crazy we are not. its a chemical thing.  

That being said, you have to realize you are in a very emotional period post op.  at this time, you too are extremely emotional.  i think people forget that fact.  if you go to the main board and post, 'i am emotional 5 wks out, is this normal?' you will get the same answer as i just said.  someone suggested try not to get caught up.  very true.  i speak out of pure emotion at times.  i note this is when my meds need to be increased.  my dh cannot tell me when this is, only i will admit and/or tell me doctor unless my dr. notices first.  nobody else in the world can tell me.  maybe this is just my stubborn side...  i say this just in case you try to tell your dh to get his meds checked he may protest.

please do not stigmatize this disease anymore than it already is.  at one time 'retarded' was, now its 'mentally challenged'.  one day, bpd will be accepted as that is.  there are many support groups you can attend and also http://www.nami.org/


I wish you the best of luck.  I know both are difficult situations.  I am living with both of them.  Plus Type I diabetes, hbp and a child with adhd and a son with bilateral clubfeet with 4 surgeries already.  yes, life is hard.  but remember my favorite words of advise by Victor Frankl:  he who has a why to live for, can live through almost any how.

boxermom

**edited to add: sarah, i want you to know, you did not stigmatize bpd

I'm bipolar and have BPD also (along with a laundry list of other disorders). When I'm in my rage I just want people to leave me alone. If they react to my anger then it makes it 5x worse. If someone tells me to "calm down" it makes it even worse. 
You should ask your husband (when he's in a "normal" mood) if when he's having a "moment" does he want you to try to comfort him, hear him out (& talk through the feelings) or just let him have his space. Sometimes I need all.