Could depression be contagious?

I've been battling depression for years. I've been carrying, taking care of my daughters father for 5 going on 6 years. He will not work, go look for a job or seek training to get a job. When his last job went out of business 5 years ago he would not even apply for unemployment.

He's  just too depress to get out of  bed and do anything for himself. When I complain about his actions he turn them around on me and say that I have the problem. He is fine. Well I've been carrying his weight along with a child/teenage with special needs. I threatened to kick him out, leave him at a shelter, tried to be understanding but all the problems again lay on my shoulders  AGAIN.  I have the problem. He is fine ....

Both my daughter and myself are living under this cloud of his depression. It is difficult dealing with my own. Not only depression... comes his negativity about every little aspect of our life.

Yesterday, I decided to move into my daughter's room. One night in a seperate bed, I feel different. The cloud/fog has lifted and I see thing clearly. I do not feel overwhelmed like my legs and arms are tied. 


I am looking for insight... any.

M.

I'm no mental health expert but I have seen depression from both sides.  You don't catch it from others.  However, the burden of dealing with him can certainly lead you into your own depression.  Other people can bring you down. 

I once had a friend in a similar situation but thankfully no kids.  His shrink told her she could not leave because of his fragile state.  There was no one to give a damn about the life being drained out of her. 

She endured years of this including his Christmas Eve suicide attemp.  Then one day she addressed his shrink as "look bubb" and proceeded to tell him where to shove his progress report.  Prepare him to be on his own or reserve him a room in the looney bin was her directive.  She went home and put dh on notice.  She saw were she was headed and refused to allow him take her down.    

I hope you find what's best for you and your children.  I also hope he gets the help he needs but that part is up to him.  Best wishes. 

Thanks MSW.

Sometimes you have to ask yourself these silly questions to get some perspective or perhaps humor out of a bad situation. 

M.

My best suggestion would be to get therapy for yourself, to help you deal with your feelings about the situation you are in, and to explore options on how best to deal with this situation.  One option would be to follow through with the threat to kick him out.  Drive him to a psych hospital and drive away, or take him to the shelter. 

It is not your fault he is the way he is.  Depression can be chemical, which requires meds and therapy, which I assume he has neither.  Or, it could be situational, which I believe is probably your own situation.  Living with someone with any mental illness takes its toll on the caregiver, and depression is a mental illness.  I grew up with a mom with bipolar disorder, and a brother with psychotic episodes of bipolar.  It was very difficult.  My own bipolar disorder ruined my marriage. 

Hang in there, and post as often as you need to to vent, cry on our shoulders, or explore your feelings, like you did already.  But, seriously seek your own therapy to help you work through this dilemma.

Hugs,
Trish

Thanks Trish.

Something is going to have to happen. His traits are rubbing off on my daughter.

M.