HELP!

I've become an acoholic after rny....

It has been 3 years since my rny.... and I have found the love of my life.  But he also was an alcoholic.  Today I got stuck in a neighbor's yard bringing home their daughter from visiting mine....but the troubling part isn't the fact that I was drinking....but the fact that I got stuck in their driveway and my husband who was on his way home, had to get me UNSTUCK.  My daughter's friend's "dad" was no help in getting me "unstuck" in the snow drift that was at the end of their drive....I had to wait for MY husband to get us unstuck, knowing that he'd be on the same way....
First off my husband Knew that I had been drinking, which I did not hide... then he chose to tell me how much trouble I'd be in if the police had found me with my daughter in the back seat stuck in a drift.  But thank God he helped me get out of.  I got home expecting to get the whole yelling at me trip, which he didn't do.....he explained that he and the kids loved me and know that I have a problem....

All I can say is HELP HELP HELP!!!   I also have fibromyalgia and it the alcohol makes me not feel the pain...  I have an appointment to see a specialist in Northern MN in a couple of weeks....I've been waiting about 3 months...........I'm on cymbalta and drink everyday.  I know I have a problem, but I am so remote, that I don't know if I can get help now.  It has taken me about 20 minutes to write this because I don't want the spelling errors to show how "under the influence" I really am...HELP  this is the second posting of this because of computger issuesa.

There's a hole in my sidewalk by Portia Nelson

Chapter One
I walk down the street
There's a deep hole in the sidewalk
I fall in
I'm lost. . . I'm helpless
It isn't my fault
It takes me forever to find a way out

Chapter 2
I walk down the same street
There's a deep hole in the sidewalk
I pretend I don't see it
I fall in again
I can't believe I'm in the same place
But it isn't my fault
It still takes a long time to get out

Chapter 3
I walk down the same street
There's a deep hole in the sidewalk
I see it there
I still fall in. . . it's a habit
My eyes are open
I know where I am
It is my fault
I get out immediately

Chapter 4
I walk down the same street
There's a deep hole in the sidewalk
I walk around it

Chapter 5
I walk down another street

You need to speak to a doctor or substance abuse counselor about what you are doing and how to get you the help you need.  They will let you know if you should be inpatient, extensive outpatient or outpatient.

If you continue on the path you are on..  it will only progress as it is a progressive disease and the consequences of YOUR actions will only get worse.  You will end up having to pay a "higher price" to become SOBER.. rather it's being caught by the police with daughter in vehicle.. or.. having a serious accident with daughter in vehicle.  I know you know these things.. and I know you want to stop but right now with the chemical in your body your body craves it.. and you can not stop without help.  Perhaps you need to be in a place where the alcohol is not as easy attainable.   YOU must let the "secret" out of the closet and share with a doctor or counselor so they can help you.. once it is out in the open it's not so scary and much easier to deal with.

You are not alone..  many on here have been exactly where you are now.  If possible go to an AA meeting..  listen to others who know exactly where you are!

Best wishes.. 

Oh so true!!

Thank you!  I'm going to have to check...


hubby home....

I am not an expert on this but you have admitted that you have an issue so now is the time to do something about it.. To thine own self be true.. I know that I have to answer to the man in the mirror and that is who I am responsible for but you have a child and you have to look out for her too..

There are several means to get help.. Seek them out..

Paula,

My heart aches for you.....Please get help, Don't wait till something really bad happens like most.....Go to in treatment care, that is the only way....

My Mom also had Fibromyalgia and drank to get rid of the pain......The drinking turned into mis-use of pain killers......She has all sorts of problems now.....

Think how your drinking is affecting your childeren, your marriage and yourself.....Do you really want it to stay the way it is? I'm sure the answer is NO....

Please, get help....Get into treatment.....

Please keep us posted....

Hugs, Kelly

I was an alcoholic when I had my RNY, but was sober about five years when I had my surgery.  I relapsed a year later, and have been struggling ever since, and it has been two years of pure hell.

I just got out of rehab and am currently in an outpatient treatment program.  I have been in AA for over 20 years, and attend at least 3 meetings a week, plus my treatment program three nights a week.

I currently have fibromyalgia and herniated discs, on top of being on cymbalta, risperdal and buspar for my mental illness of bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder. 

Find a rehab to get evaluated for detoxification and treatment.  It is extremely dangerous to detox on your own from alcohol, it could be fatal.

Check out AA at www.aa.org

Trish

Paula,

You are in the battle of your life.  With being an alcoholic and having WLS, you are doomed from the start.  I am 29 years old, had my original surgery when I was 21 and very quickly became an alcoholic.  I didn't recognize it at first and then, it took me a long time to accept it.  In the meantime of figuring out I was an alcoholic, I ended up in the hospital with pancreatitis, tore the insides of my pouch apart (drastically), got 2 DUI's...within 6 months of each other and on and on. 

This disease will take you and everything you love down.  Quickly.  Yes, I understand you are in pain... but that's not why you drink.  You drink because you're an alcoholic.  You drink because thats what you know how to do.  Stopping is painful, confusing and discouraging at times.  You need to start going to meetings.  Meet other women that have walked your walk.  No matter how different you will feel from everyone else, you are far from. 

Find a meeting.  Do to it often.  Try to stop drinking inbetween.  I don't know how deep your addiction is but you may need the help of medical professionals to get away from the booze.  Once you are abstinent from alcohol, you will be given the opportunity to start working on yourself and your character defects. 

Eventually, I became grateful to be an alcoholic.  I never learned coping skills growing up and really, had no idea how to live.  Alcoholics Anonymous has started giving me the tools to deal with life... the good, the bad, the painful... all of it.  You don't need to drink to live.  I promise. 

Feel free to shoot me a private message if you would like.  I know Rhonda and I are always willing to talk to other alcoholics and help.  The road isn't easy ....in fact, it freakin sucks most of the time right now for me personally.. but it's worth it. 

Good luck.

~ shannon

Thank you everyone.  Here I am...yesterday I stayed sober and had no problem with it yesterday...today after work I bought a pint...Knowing full well that my husband was going to be late at work.  Today he told me, on his way home that my "being good" would be rewarded by possibly going out this weekend.  We NEVER go "out"...we always have some drinks while at home with the kids.  He is due home shortly...I have taken a shower, brushed my teeth and ate something "smelly" to cover the smell of booze.

He knows I have a problem, I know I have a problem...but...IT is so hard...I recently moved here and have NO friends.  I'm so remote....Oh my god I'm making excuses....but still....I feel like I have NO one!

I can hear the pain in your post, and understand that loneliness is so hard to deal with.  But, you can find plenty of good friends in AA.  Get to some meetings and get some phone numbers.  Every woman in AA is willing to reach out and help you.

I can tell you from all the research and my own experience, it will get worse.

God bless.
Trish

"He knows I have a problem, I know I have a problem...but...IT is so hard... I recently moved here and have NO friends.  I'm so remote....Oh my god I'm making excuses....but still....I feel like I have NO one! "

Ask your husband to go to a meeting with you.  What harm is there in attending a meeting.. ?   I promise you that it is just a room filled with warm and friendly people just like you and myself!!