Any help?

I'm new to this site and have just found this mental health forum.  What I'm seeing is great and looks like what I need.  I am 4.5 years of of RNY and lost 100 lbs.  Felt great and then had a baby 15 mos ago.  Never would have had my bearcub had it not been for the surgery - I waited 40 years to have a baby and he's the best thing in my world.  I still have 35 extra lbs from the pregnancy and feeling like a complete failure because of this.  Had I not had the surgery I would not have gotten with my partner of 4 years as I know his preferences and I he would not have pursued me.  So, now with this 35 lbs I feel unattractive to him - he says it is noticable but look what we have out of it all and that he continues to love me.  But, I still know his preferences.  So - depression cycles are in full swing.  Going back to old eating habits, feeling guilty/shame for doing so, even less motivation to get going again, and then more old eating habits.  I really need some help on getting going again.  I'm on antidepressants (for years) and seeing a therapist.  However, my therapists advise was to 'just do it'.  I'm trying to figure out how to talk myself into motivation over the continual negative self talk and feelings of failure.  I know what to do physically - how do I get my mind to catch up and get moving again? 

It could be you need group support.  I got it in OA twenty years ago, and then eating disorder treatment, twice, on an outpatient basis.  I sometimes go to the support group at the hospital where my surgery was done.  Right now, I am not doing well with the food either, but I know what works for me.  

To combat the negative self-talk, you need to fill your brain with positives.  Have you read "The Beck Diet Solution."?  Or, "The Anatomy of a Food Addiction."?  Both help with that negative self-talk.  I need to reread both, and intend to once I complete the move I am making in the next few weeks.

Hang in there.  If you are interested in OA, check out their website at www.oa.org.

Trish