Abusing my tool -- crosspost
Post Date: 10/21/09 9:54 am
I'm here to confess and to renew my dedication. Two years out and my pants are getting tight. I've been abusing alcohol, and my food addiction has reared its ugly head again. I like to think I was in remission at least for a little while. As I stay sober and my head clears, I realize that I have been abusing the gift I was given. This week I recorded my food and realized how much grazing I was doing. I pulled out the old Barix Bible and re-read Eating for Your New Life. It seems I've not been following so much of the suggested protocol. I do get my protein in, but also have indulged in sweets (even though I dump) and in more carbohydrates than necessary or helpful. I stopped going to meetings (Barix support; Harleysville; Celebrate Recovery) over a year ago. I won't make it to the Barix meeting tonight because I'm headed to AA, which is where I most seem to need to be right now. They warn us about this stuff right? I'm so sorry I didn't keep up with support groups and keep in touch with surgery buddies (except one who I love dearly -- you know who you are).
That's my confession. Now for my re-dedication. I promise that just for today I will respect my pouch. I will not drink alcohol. I will not eat sugar. I will get in my protein and water. I will follow the 5/30 rule. That's all I can promise for today.
My future plan is to keep in touch more here and in person. I'll put next month's meeting on my calendar and commit to being there. I'll attend the pre-op meeting as well, and stay quiet, to remind myself where I came from. I'll listen to and accept advice and encouragement. I'll keep reading "Anatomy of a Food Addiction" and working a 12-step recovery program.
I'm posting here because I trust you all and know that keeping quiet is the worst thing I could do right now. I hope my struggles don't cause anyone any grief of their own. I want everyone to know that life can get off track sometimes, but we have the tools to get it regain ground. I know several people here are inspirations to me and I look forward to sharing my recovery process.
I'm here to confess and to renew my dedication. Two years out and my pants are getting tight. I've been abusing alcohol, and my food addiction has reared its ugly head again. I like to think I was in remission at least for a little while. As I stay sober and my head clears, I realize that I have been abusing the gift I was given. This week I recorded my food and realized how much grazing I was doing. I pulled out the old Barix Bible and re-read Eating for Your New Life. It seems I've not been following so much of the suggested protocol. I do get my protein in, but also have indulged in sweets (even though I dump) and in more carbohydrates than necessary or helpful. I stopped going to meetings (Barix support; Harleysville; Celebrate Recovery) over a year ago. I won't make it to the Barix meeting tonight because I'm headed to AA, which is where I most seem to need to be right now. They warn us about this stuff right? I'm so sorry I didn't keep up with support groups and keep in touch with surgery buddies (except one who I love dearly -- you know who you are).
That's my confession. Now for my re-dedication. I promise that just for today I will respect my pouch. I will not drink alcohol. I will not eat sugar. I will get in my protein and water. I will follow the 5/30 rule. That's all I can promise for today.
My future plan is to keep in touch more here and in person. I'll put next month's meeting on my calendar and commit to being there. I'll attend the pre-op meeting as well, and stay quiet, to remind myself where I came from. I'll listen to and accept advice and encouragement. I'll keep reading "Anatomy of a Food Addiction" and working a 12-step recovery program.
I'm posting here because I trust you all and know that keeping quiet is the worst thing I could do right now. I hope my struggles don't cause anyone any grief of their own. I want everyone to know that life can get off track sometimes, but we have the tools to get it regain ground. I know several people here are inspirations to me and I look forward to sharing my recovery process.
Blessings, Jill
WLS 5/31/07. Maintaining a weight loss of 141 pounds and feeling amazing!
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