PLEASE HELP

I HAD MY VSG IN APRIL.I AM NOW A BASKETCASE.I AM ON ATIVAN JUST TO BE ABLE
TO EAT.I AM NOT MEETING THE CALORIES I NEED.I AM MISSING WORK BECAUSE
I HURT ALL OVER AND AM SO ANXIOUS. HAVE BEEN GETTING COUNSELING.TRIED
LEXAPRO,TOO MANY SIDE EFFECTS.WILL TRY ZOLOFT OR VISTARIL NEXT.STILL
HAVE DIARRHEA ALOT,ALTHOUGH PROBIOTICS HELPS,BUT THEN SOME DAYS
IT MAKES IT HARD TO GO TO THE BATHROOM.BAD DIARRHEA/ANXIETY MADE ME
WAKE UP AT 2:30 AM,MISSED WORK.CRYING  BAD.I AM SO AFRAID,I HAVE NEVER
HAD ANXIETY IN MY LIFE.I AM AFRAID THIS WON'T GET BETTER EVEN THOUGH
EVERYONE SAYS IT WILL.I REGRET THE DAY I HAD THIS SURGERY.MY LIFE IS
UPSIDE DOWN.I PRAY AND PRAY.ANYONE WHO HAS BEEN THRU THIS PLEASE
HELP...DON'T WANT TO BE ON DRUGS TO FUNCTION...ALREADY TRIED TO TAPER
DOWN ON ATIVAN...DISASTER...SURGEON SAYS I WILL LOOK BACK ON THIS AND
LAUGH, I AM NOT LAUGHING NOW BUT I AM CRYING ALOT. WHAT ELSE CAN I DO
TO GET MYSELF WELL?
                                                           KIM

Have you explored the idea that the anxiety you are experiencing now is probably because you are NOT using the food to deal with your feelings for the first time in ages?  That was my issue from day one.  I used food and alcohol to get through life.  

My suggestions are from my own experience.  Develop a toolkit of coping strategies to deal with your anxiety.  My list is pretty long these days.

1. Prayer
2. Bible reading
3. Phone calls to supportive people (I am active in AA, and have great friends from church I call as well.)
4. Bubble bath
5. Exercise
6. Journal
7. Deep breathing
8. Visualization
9. Soothing music (I love Vivaldi's Four Seasons, or Pachelbel's Canon in D)
10. Candlelight
11. Helping someone who is having a difficult time.
12. Volunteer work
13. Making a gratitude list

I have been in psychotherapy for a very long time and done a lot of work on my childhood issues.  I am also involved in 12 step recovery and work closely with a sponsor.

Ask your  therapist about my suggestions concerning coping strategies.

Hugs,
Trish

Trish,

You know I love your posts and respect your opinions. but what about those who don't pray or read the bible (example: agnostic jews?

Hi Natalie, I was sharing my personal list, for what works for me...I can only share my own experience in any given situation. As we say in AA, take what you like and leave the rest. I hope I did not offend, but I share from what works in my life and recovery. Hugs, Trish

i'm wondering where you are at with your self-care.  back to basics.  what is your post-op plan?  are you drinking enough water?  getting your vitamins?  how are you doing with protein?  are youe eating anything you shouldn't be?

April is not very long ago.  Your body has been through a very traumatic experience, and I agree with the previous poster about looking at those emotional issues, but from your post you sound all over the map.  it's important when you are distressed like this to start really, really simple.

if it's at all reassuring, i think it is way, way too early to tell how your VSG is turning out.  I think whatever else is going on, you are now on some kind of emotional roller-coaster and I know what those are like all too well.  They distort our perceptions, magnify everything.  The most important thing IMO is to get you to a stable place physically and mentally, and right now i don't know where you are at physically.  and that starts with self-care.  so try to settle down a little and be clear.  what is your basic, basic self-care plan for post-op and how is it going?

WELL,MY SURGEON SAID TO START BRANCHING OUT WITH MY
DIET,I EAT CANNED TUNA,SALMON,CHICKEN ,BAKED LAYS,
BACON,NO RED MEAT YET,NO NUTS.SOME EGGS WHEN I
CAN TOLERATE THEM.tHE PROBLEM IS ALL SOLIDS DON'T GO IN
WELL.I FEEL SO UNCOMFORTABLE/NAUSEATED AFTER TRYING TO
EAT.IT'S LIKE A KNOT IN MY TUMMY.IT MAKES ME NOT WANT OT EAT.MY TUMMY GROWLS BUT NOTHING FEELS RIGHT GOING IN AND
SOME DAYS SOLIDS JUST WON'T GO.I WAS TAKING VITAMINS,MY
SURGEON TOLD ME TO STOP FOR A WEEK TO SEE IF THAT WAS CAUSING THE DIARRHEA.THERE HAVE BEEN SO MANY TWEEKS
AND ADJUSTMENTS.EVEN TRIED LIBREX TO SLOW MY GUT DOWN.
I STAYED ON MUSHIES FOR 6 WEEKS BUT STILL DID NOT FEEL GOOD.
I AM JUST PRAYING THERE IS SOME ANTI ANXIETY/DEPRESSANT THAT WILL HELP ME.I HAVE HAD A POST OP EGD TO RULE OUT
STRICTURE.I AGREE NOT ENOUGH HEALING TIME HAS GONE BY BUT I AM SUFFERING SO MUCH NOW IT SEEMS LIKE IT'S BEEN MY WHOLE LIFE.I AM GOING TO SEE A GI DR. TO SEE IF THEY CAN FIGURE OUT ANYTHING.I HOPE AND PRAY IT IS JUST A HEALING PROCESS THAT WILL COME SOON AND RIGHT NOW I NEED SOME WAY TO COPE WITH ALL THIS ANXIETY I HAVE ABOUT WHAT'S GOING ON WITH MY BODY.I DO GET 30-40 GRAMS OF PROTEIN A DAY WHICH MY SURGEON SAID WAS OKAY BECAUSE WE AREN'T MALABSORPTIVE.
SOME DAYS I DO HAVE TO MAKE A CHOICE BETWEEN LIQUID OR SOLIDS.I CHOOSE LIQUIDS.I HAVE TO STAY HYDRATED.I NEVERWENT AHEAD OF THE POST OP DIET. WAS TOO SCARED.

i tried zoloft, etc. before and after sirgery for depression/anxiety but they were not efective. neither was wellbutin(tries ti keep myself energetic enoughto function.) at the end of the day, benzo's (i take klonopin and sometines xanax, have been on ativan and, i think valum falls in the sale category helped my function>)

Don't be ashamed of it...i couldn't understand it either...i was finally becoming thin and pretty again but had somehow managed to develop an anxiety disorder...you just had your surgery a few months ago, your body is going through a lot of changes and your hormones may be going haywire. same things happened to me-missing work (and as an a self employed attorney, that had long lasting consequences, it got progressively worse culminating in a really bad nervous breakdown, as a result of which i'm still suffering professional and financial consequences.

I'm getting my life back together (well, it's pretty mcuh together except for a couple of things)...and, yes, i am on anti-anxiety meds...i'll go off them eventually but right now, i need them (along with another medication) to function....

my doctor said something very obvious but what that people who deal with sudden mental health issues tend to forget: it's a chemical imbalance in your body...if you had type 1 diabetes, would you feel weak, ashamed or embarassed about taking insulin?

I'm not sure if one day you'll look back at it and laugh, like your surgeon said but can rpomise you that one day you'll look back at it and it will be completely behind you, like a bad dream.

if you have any question or want to chat, let me know (i went though hell with all that stuff over the last couple of years and would hate to see someone else go through it.

good luck and feel free to contact me anytime, if you want to talk, let me know, i'll give you my cell no.

Best wishes,
Natalie

THANKS SO MUCH NATALIE AND TO ALL OF YOU WHO POSTED.
I AM PRAYING,HOPING AND TRYING TO BE POSITIVE,IT'S HARD
WHEN YOU FEEL SO BAD. I FEEL LIKE IT WILL NEVER END.PRAY
FOR ME AND IF NOT,THINK WISH ME WELL.
                                                           KIM

There is a book called Budda and the 12 steps - it is very helpful in dealing w/ a lot of issues - not just addiction and those of us who are not religious and/or agnostic/aethist - can relate to it as Budda was not actually a religious leader, but was instead a philosopher. (He in fact frequently questioned the existance of a Higher Power.)
Yoga can also be helpful - I have found.
I tried to quit my medications shortly after surgery too and found myself turning to alcohol. I strongly encourage you to rethink your position on not wanting drugs to function.

Good luck.
Anne