Bad Day

I am sitting here crying and overwhelmed by my life.  I know that these emotions are not warranted in the cir****tances but I can not seem to get over this feeling.  I have been working more than normal lately and had to let my housekeeper go.  My house is a mess and I cant seem to get my butt in gear to clean it.  We need to put our house on the market but there are a lot of small things that need to be done first and no one seems to care but me.  Dh says he wants to do it but sits on his butt unless I tell him exactly what to do.  I am tired of being in charge and haivng it all on me.  MT Dh works hard where his job is concerned but here at home it all seems to be on me.  I am not good with keeping up with housework and with 2 men and 4 kids here most of the time i am plain overwhelmed.  a dirty house depresses me and makes things worse but at the moment hiring a housekeeper is out of the question.  I had planned to have all day alone to clean the house but my oldest DD called from summer camp that she wasx coughing and it was hurting her stomach so I had to pick her up.  she has not coughed at all since I picked her up and I have had kids home all day when i should have had a day off.  Sorry for dumping this on all of you but I had to vent somewhere.  I dont know what I am going to do to change things.  My next day "off" is Thur and I have Drs appt then so I doubt I will get anything done then.  I hope i can feel better soon.

Emily,  I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this. I feel the same way about a messy house, and I don't want to think about how overwhelmed I'd be without help once a week.
Maybe you could make the old "Honey Do" list since your husband's not lazy, just unmotivated. 
I know with my husband, once he's aware that something is really bothering me, he makes an effort. I've even written him letters at night and left them where he can read them when he gets up in the morning. I just pour my heart out knowing that he can't put his head in the sand if it's staring him right in the face. We were both born and raised in LA. and have been married 44 years. I can tell ya'll really love each other. Just communicate your real feelings to him, and do it as many times as you need to until you get the help you need.

Your friend,
Margo

Thanks for the support.  I hate to aks him to do housework because he is constantly going offshore this month.  he got back yesterday and is leaving again on Thur, so he is as stressed as me.  This will ease the $$ issues but we need to rebuild savings before i spend any extra.  I am not sure if my nerves can hold out though.  MY BIL has been living with us for 2 years now and unless we sell the house I doubt we can get rid of him.  I am so looking forward to getting out of this large home and into an apt if that makes any sense.  the apts we are moving into have 1300 sq foot so not really small but right now i have 3200 sq foot to care for and it is too much for me.  We wer planning to build my dream home next year but to be honest I may just want to dream a lot smaller.  When we sell this house we will be totally out of debt so that will help us stress wise and I am not sure if I want to have any debt again.  Rent seems nice for a while even though I know there is not a return on it

I know that financial worries can be crushing, and as you said, the messy house doesn't help. The help from him that I was referring to was getting the house ready to sell. Why doesn't the BIL help out, and does he pay ya'll rent?
I hope so. Down-sizing makes total sense if it relieves the stress.
At any rate, just talking about it and getting it off your chest is a good start.
Stay strong. You're always so supportive of everyone else.
By the way, are any of the kids old enough to do some chores? If they are, start making lists. LOL.

Margo

I need to make a punch list I started it but did not fini****  BIl helps some, he is on a biz trip this week and when he gets back I will hit him up for more.  I wrote him a letter last week because when he first moved in he really helped but the past 6 months he has really slacked off!  DH finally started making him give us $100 every 2 weeks so whoopie we are getting $200 a month (he and his kids eat more food than that.  He is a great guy but has really taken advantage of us.  I really like him BUT cant wait to live in a place where no one else can fit thoug.

Kids are 5b and 7.  I have them clean their own room and toty room.  they are doing an OK job of it.  The 7 year old also unloads the dishwasher.  I am not a mom that lets them get away with doing nothing that is for sure.

I am feeling better tonight (too many carbs but just enough Margeritas LOL)  Thanks so much for the support!

I agree with Margo. Start DELEGATING!

Lora

I am good at doing it at the time.  i just get so D*** tired of ASKING!!!!  KWIM. 

Thanks for pitching in.  it is just nice to be able to share with others when I am having a bad day and today was a doozy!

Hey girl,

I'm not able to get on here as often as I was before... but I just saw your entry for your bad day.  I think most women can totally relate to feeling overwhelmed and unorganized when the house is a mess. I feel that way sometimes too. I do delegate to the kids when I cannot do it all on my own. Hoping things work out so you can get caught up on things! Hugs to you!

April

I really appreciate the support I get here.  I have not been on as often as I was in the past either.  Life starts to get in the way sometimes.  But thanks so much for the support

Hugs to you.  Yes, I agree it is not looking like a good day today.  My sister and I get in a jam like that once in a while.  But my prob is paperwork and hers is her house.  We do alot of tag teaming and it is so helpful.   Do you by change has someone who can help you for a couple hours?  For me, it is so much more enjoyable to do someone elses stuff than my own.  Once you find a parter to tag team stuff with, it makes life so much easier.

If you have no one to help than might I suggest that you go for a half hour walk.  Take the kids or leave them depending on their ages.  If you can relax for a bit, feed a duck or something, then when you walk into your house, just dig in.  Don't tacle it all.  Pick your favorite room.  Do aroom each day.  It can be done, I just think you are overwelmed.

I did eliminate your hubby from the picture 'cuz you can only control yourself.  If he doesn't want to do it, you can't make him.

Good luck today. Good air in, bad air out!