how to overcome depression?
well, if you lived in the uk, you would have seen someone with a sad expression on their face.....it was me.
the reason i was/felt sad was because i had to attend a cognitive group threrapy class and i didn't feel like going for several reasons.
first is and as strange as it sounds, i don't like going out...one of the reason's is because i get panic attacks which although i experience them inside and out, it however seems to feel more intense when i go out.
2nd reason is i suffer from hyperhidrosis which makes me sweat excessively in both cold and warm weather.
i'm not sure but the extra pounds i carry on my body may make it worse?
either way i sweat alot and therefore have to carry with me a face flannel to mop my face and neck.
i could of caught the bus to the meeting but i only had enough for one journey so i walked and of course i started sweating, and by the time i arrived at the hospital i felt pretty warm and it took me a while to cool down.
i felt embarrased walking into the group wiping my face with my flannel even though i could not help it.
whilst there i found out that the meetings are every thursday, so that means i'm gonna be sweating again, even though i think i will catch the bus next time.
it's gonna work out quite expensive making two trips on the bus there and back and i fear that i will quickly tire of it and decide to quit the group.
but i dont really want to because i want to see if i will benefit from being part of the group by listening and contributing(although i kept quiet today my first day)
i'm hoping next time i will make a effort to speak and get to know the fellow group members.
although i try to put on a brave face, inside however i am very insecure and uncomfortable with myself and i'm quite shy and dont really enjoy talking, but if i feel passionate about something and i can control my nerves. i can be quite what do you call it thingy? lol
(perhaps someone can remind me of the term i could not remember?)
i also feel unhappy with the enviroment where i live.
this may sound strange but i really feel tired of seeing cars trucks and buses everywhere.
i wish i could walk freely without big trucks and cars zooming past me every minute and that i can cross a road without worrying i might get knocked down.
and then we have the endless cracked and uneven paving stones everywhere which gets on my nerves.
and its almost impossible to breate fresh air because someone is always smoking and the streets are littered with cigarette stubs which leaves with the impression that people dont care about their health or the enviroment.
and i feel tired of being overweight...240 pounds.
my heaviest was 260 in 2006.
i have cut down on the amount i consume but what i consume is not always low in calories.
and lastly i struggle with feeling sucicidal when i feel really low.
i question whether it is worth me being alive?
i'm grateful to be alive and have a basic sufficency of basic needs, but nevertheless i still feel unhappy.
i'm 42 and for as long as i can remember, i have always felt depressed.
i think having a nervous disorder for most of my life has made it a struggle to keep a positive frame of mind because that is the root of my problem, i tend to think negative and feel easily discouraged.
i'm meant to go to a religious meeting tonight but i feel so low in myself that i dont think i will make the effort to go.
but then i feel guilty about that.
i want to believe that one day i will feel better and the world will change and give me less reason to feel depressed and frustrated.
coming back on the bus today and seeing all the cars and buses jammed up on the road, i thought to myself how does my younger brother cope with being a bus driver?
i dont think i could cope with that.
so you see, its all in the mind, i let things get to me and its not good for me or anyone really.
ok, i would appreciate your response.
do you feel the same?
if so how do you cope?
Wow, Trevor. You have alot of things on your mind. You write very well. I wish you weren't so sad. Besides this group thing, are you seeing a psychiatrist? Are you taking any anti-depressants? Have you been diagnosed with a mood disorder? It sounds like you have alot of issues to work through. Yes, I suffer from depression. I find tremendous relief with the anti-depressant medication and behavioral therapy. I, too, get sad often when I see/realize the current state of our environment, but a short trip into the country or to the ocean (I live near both) usually helps calm my mind. Of course, I have other issues going on too, but sometimes the depression is overwhelming. I am concerned that you are having suicidal thoughts. Trevor, you are worthy of this planet and belong here. Don't for one minute forget that. As for the profuse sweating - please see a doctor. There are all kinds of treatments for this condition. Research it on the web. In order to participate in your group, you first need inner security. Have you tried relaxing yoga, to calm your mind? It would also be good for you to actively participate in your religous group, consistently. Try to volunteer for ongoing projects - little ones at first, to establish your comfort range and go from there. This is not going to happen overnight. Baby steps, my dear. It takes people a while to realize what potential you have. I was painfully shy when I was young and to this day feel bad about the things I missed in high school and college because I was too afraid to do things, or speak up. I was used constantly. After the depression started in my late 30's, I sought help. And you know what? I am a better person for it. Yes, I do have some extenuating cir****tances that would send anyone into a major depression, but I have and continue to work through it. It is a work in progress. Everyday. I try to do at least one nice thing for some one every day, however small it may be (holding the door, saying hello, anything that requires eye to eye contact). This helps. I also remember to do something for myself too.
Please keep us posted on your progress. We care. Kathy
PS: Trevor - I just read your post to Kelli about quitting smoking. You are a great support to her. You've got it in you. We just need to help you through this funk that you're in. Your post was very well thought out without being over-the-top arm bending about quitting smoking. Good for you on your ten years!
i am really grateful to you for taking the time to read and respond to my post.
it is nice to know that you care enough to write and share some of your experiences along with practicle advice.
i would like to live near the sea or countryside where things are clearer greener and calmer.
yes, you are right i do have alot of issues in myself that really need to be dealt with because i can't go on feeling as i do all my life.
i take propananol for my anxiety attacks, its a kind of beta blocker.
ive been taking them for so long i hardly notice its effects anymore.
i have like a nervous disorder that manifests itself in like a nervous tremor, my whole body trembles.
sometimes standing or sitting still is a real struggle especially if i'm feeling really anxious.
the therapy group is to hopefully give me a opportunity to talk about how i feel and cope and hopefully by the end of it i will feel ready to go back to work.
as for the sucicidal thoughts, i try hard to put them out of my mind and try to focus on something positive, which is often easier said than done when one is long term depressed.
i think i may have bi polar disorder but have not been diagnosed for it.
i will go to the religious group on sunday because we have a meeting then.
i feel sad when i look at the world and see people smoking, and over consuming alcohol etc...it looks horrible in the light of day and people dont hide and do them, they do it in full view of people.
i keep telling myself i should not care because then it would not bother me.
but i know i'm kidding myself because i can't not be concerned no matter how i try.
ive been there with the alcohol tobacco and drugs and i found they dont help at all, it just makes things worse.
the sweating problem has been going on for decades.
i have noticed that when i feel anxious, my pores open up rapidly and i start sweating profusely.
its rare to see me dry and without a face flannel in my hand lol.
i hope kelli manages to quit smoking when she feels ready.
i know its not easy but it can be done.
well, its been a joy writing to you kathy,
thank you.
kind regards
Trevor...take care
ps, several years ago i did look into yoga as a way of learning to relax but changed my mind.
i wonder if it would work for me kathy?
i find it very difficult to physically relax, i'm always trembling.
Trevor,
It has been my pleasure corresponding with you this afternoon. You are in luck today, my boss is not in and I can play on the internet without him bothering me! We are fixing to get a big thunderstorm in a few minutes, I may lose internet connection when/if we lose power.
i take propananol for my anxiety attacks, its a kind of beta blocker.
ive been taking them for so long i hardly notice its effects anymore
Time to change meds hon. If it is not working, try something else. Part of the problem of treating depression is that sometimes we have to try a bunch of different meds in order to find the right combination. Can you suggest Xanax or Ativan to your doctor? These may have a double edge to them - help with the anxiety AND the nervous tremors. I think once you get your anxiety under control, the nervous tremors and maybe even the sweating will be less noticeable, thus enabling you to calm down and actively participate in the group setting. Try to see about bi-polar. Do you have major ups and then major downs?
feel sad when i look at the world and see people smoking, and over consuming alcohol etc...
Trevor, while these are bad habits, they are not your habits. You must put them to the back of your mind. YOU are not smoking, YOU are not drinking, YOU are not doing anything. THEY ARE. They are abusing their bodies, YOU are trying to take care of yours. What they do should have no impact, nor can you change the situation. This is one thing you should let go.
I found some relaxing tapes of the ocean, winds and rain sometimes help me to chill out. Hubby gets in a tizzy when I put them on, but so what, he's not the one with a problem, I am and I need it to get re-focused or just settled downI was hesitant about the yoga thing. I tried a few different things and some of them really do work. They put me in a calm state. Troubles are sorted out or forgotten altogether.
Another thing - do you have a pet?.
Cat? Dog? Do you see yourself with one? Pets can be very good therapy for depression. If you do not have one or cannot afford one, please look into volunteering at the local shelter as say, maybe a dog walker or a comfort companion to something that is probably more scared than you are. A little caring touch goes along way for both the animal and you. This will also help you in social situations. Walking a shelter dog through a park - imagine all the people you could start conversations with and maybe even find a new home for the dog at the same time. How does that sound? You can work on your social skills with total strangers, get comfortable chit-chatting and then be more responsive in your group sessions.
Please feel free to PM me anytime you want. I may not get back to you right away, I work two jobs and chase 4 kids around. Want one? I'll send them to you, expenses paid - you keep them until they're, I don't know, maybe 25 or so? Kidding. Kathy
thanks for writing back so quickly considering you were on the verge of losing your internet connection.
i hope it didn't affect it?
last night i did some drumming and uploaded it onto youtube.
it's good fun drumming along to music.
i did some drum covers of cliff richard singing "all my love" it was a hit way back in 1967.
the playback was ok...normally i reserve them for my eyes only if it plays back lousy, but it was good enough to show to the world so its out there awaiting the public opinion!!!!!
lol.
you may have a point about changing my medication...in the past, i have tried various types of medication...from valium(they made me feel like i was going crazy!) to these little blue pills that i overdosed on and collapsed and had to ask a stranger to call a ambulance for me.
it took a few days to get it out of my system.
whats xanax?
i'll ask my gp when i next see her.
i do have ups and downs...like one day i'll feel really up and the next day i feel really low.
i cant seem to stay up for long...and i'm so used to my comfort zone(home) i only leave it to buy my daily essentials etc..otherwise i stay in all day.
i thought about what you wrote about not letting what other people chose to do to themselves affect me.
its their choice and your right, i'm now trying to take care of myself.
tapes of the oceans and rain sounds interesting...ive never tried them.
i'm sure they must be available online somewhere?
i used to enjoy taking my ex partner's pet dog mitzi(named after the actress mitzi gaynor ; )
for a walk in the park and i do like dogs or animals in general.
if i had more space where i live i would buy a dog.
i don't have any kids...and with me being unmarried i'm not in the position for that responsibility...maybe one day?
if i find a woman that will want me despite my problems.
enjoy yr day kath!
bye 4 now
Trevor
Hi Trevor,
I am sorry to hear you hurting so bad inside. Although I don't feel my feelings were as bad as your's, I do understand. My meds have helped me so much.
I didn't have panic attacks, but more of like anexity attacks. I am also very shy. When I would be in a group of people my self concousi vouice would be telling me that people around me laughing at me, or think I am stupid. There was even a inner battle over when I should leave when visiting friends and such.
When my doctor switched my med to Trazadone, it was the greatest thing. I had been on proranaol also. But it didnt help me. The trazadone made the negitive subconcious voice be more quite, and talk slower. Now I can do so much more without feeling afriad than I could before.
Every person is different, in symtoms and responses to meds. So please talk to your doctor, about changing your meds or adding another one to what you already take. When you find the right meds or combonation, its like a light bulb turns on. Feel free to write me private message.
With love,
David
Xanax works greats for panic/anxiety attacks. Because of it's addictive nature, I no longer take it as I have an addictive personality and will combine it w/ alcohol.
You do sound like you either have depression or more likely bi-polar. A lot of people are misdiagnosed w/ depression when in fact they have bi-polar, but because it is rapid cycling - they do not recognize the manic phases frequently.There are a lot of medications that are effective in dealing with either one.
Hang in there and get to your doctor!!!
Anne
thanks for reading and responding to my post.
sorry i took a while to respond, i was offline over the weekend.
that xanax sounds a bit dodgy and i'm glad you stopped taking them.
over the years ive tried differnt types of medication, but i seem to stick with propananol even though i no longer feel its effects.
i just take one take a deep breath say a prayer and go out.
in the bad old days i used to overdose all the time when my stress level went up and then i would be sick for days after and i still kept doing it.
during that period i was hoping i would breath my last but now i realise i want to live....and more than anything to feel happy in myself and with life.
yesterday i went to a friends house and i got talking with someone and my nerves were all over the place...i was struggling to not twitch but i just can't control it and i was feeling really stressed and to be honest i could not wait to get outside and try to calm down but then when i went outside i felt low again.
and then later on last night i felt low again and had to try to not let myself feel really down again.
i woke up this morning feeling low.
i wanted to go collect my doctors prescription but i was panicking so much that in the end i did go...and all that anxiety just to walk into a surgery and collect a piece of paper...thats how messed up my nerves are.
Are you under the care of a psychiatrist for your medication needs? If not, I suggest you do so. Sometimes people need a combination of meds for their diagnoses. I have been on three medications for years. I take Buspar for my anxiety, Lexapro for my depression, and Risperdal for my bipolar/mood instability. I am also active in an outpatient drug/alcohol treatment program for my alcoholism, and I participate in AA.
In psychotherapy I have learned a variety of coping strategies, which when used help me immensely. Unfortunately, I undermine my recovery and fail to practice them regularly. I suggest regular psychotherapy to discuss your symptoms and explore coping skills for yourself.
Please keep posting as much as you feel a need.
Hugs,
Trish
Albert Schweitzer
