At a bad place

I just need to talk to someone this morning.  I had WLS 5/05 and lost 90lbs.  I looked good, real good.  Felt even better. Then one day, I found a recipe for brats cooked in beer.  The rest is history as they say.  From that day on, I was an alcoholic.  I've gained almost all of the weight back, I have a disgusting hernia that needs repair, and I'm just sick of myself.  I tried to get into private outpatient rehab, but due to financial considerations, was unable to go to 2 sessions a week.  The social worker there told me that they see alcohol addiction in WLS patients quite a bit.  I wonder why nobody told me before the surgey?  Wouldn't have mattered, I would have had it anyway.  I know my brain is addicted to carbs, does anyone have any resources where I can study this more and maybe get some help?  I really want to get better, this life sucks.  I need help and I am ashamed to call my doctor.  Thanks for reading, thanks for being here.

Nothing to be ashamed of. It really does happen to a lot of people. 

Cross addiction is very common in wls patients. I can tell you that I personally think the surgeons who perform wls do not say more about the possible development of alcoholism and/or drug addiction after wls, is that they are concerned people will decide not to have the surgey.
Don't be ashamed to discuss with your doctor. Also, check out what type of MHMR facilities are in your area - they frequently work on a sliding fee scale. Go to AA meetings, get a sponsor, and keep talking to people.
Anne

Hi BeckyJean,

I'm sure most of us on this board can MORE than relate to your post here. It's not life that sucks...ti's addiction that does. I've been sober 23 years and fight my addictive behavior every day. I'm very strong where drinking is concerned, but so many other things can get to me. Ann is right...go to AA, get a sponsor and go to meetings. Keep the faith...you CAN do this!

Hugs,
Marie

Did you call your Doc?  They hear this stuff all the time, there is really nothing to be embarrased about.

Thanks for all your concern.  I did go see my doc, I started AA, made an appointment to see a shrink, and found out I have heart disease, all in a week.  I've been sober for 11 days, tho!!!  The drinking has ruined my heart, I am scared to death.  I have to go for a nuclear stress test this Thursday cause there are changes in my already changed EKG.  I weighed in at 234 (post breakfast with clothes) which means I have gained 60 lbs since my lowest post-op weight.  Can I be anymore disgusted with myself???  But I am going to stay with the getting help thing, I will.  For my old age and my daughter.

try not to be disgusted with yourself. I know that's easy to see but imagine you are talking about a friend of yours. someone you love and respect.

treat yourself that way. you can only start from where you are.

how's it going?

Jackie

I can relate to your story.  I was already alcoholic when I had my surgery, but had been in AA for a long time, with over 5 years of sobriety at the time.  I relapsed when I had 6 years, and have been struggling ever since.

AA is a great resource.  Get involved, and get a sponsor.  I am currently in outpatient rehab, and love it.  I have the best therapist and therapy group around.  It is helping learn so much about myself.

There is a lack of information made available to pre-op patients, and that is where we veterans have a responsibility to educate the pre- and post-ops of the dangers of alcohol for WLS patients.  It should not discourage anyone from having the surgery.  I just encourage people to seek mental health care for themselves, because the food is not the issue, our stinking thinking and our emotions are.

Feel free to check in here from time to time for encouragement.

Trish

TY, I will.