Slippery slope!

WOW.........Ive neve been here before. I didnt know we had this forum.

First alittle background on meself:
I had RNY in Jan of '06. All went well the first few months. Then by about May things started going haywire. Dropping weight became my #1 goal. Thus I turned to starving myself. By summer I was drinking vodka. When my 1 year came around I was binge/purging, depressed and drinking a 5th of vodka a day. By the summer of 2007 I wanted to die. I was admitted into a treatment center for suicidal tendencies and a driking problem. I came out of my depression quickly but I found I will always struggle with food and drinking.

Now:
Ive been sober since April 5th 2008. A few weeks later I found out I was pregnant. I stopped drinking and I ate what I wanted. Now my daughter is 6 weeks old and Im struggling. I think about vodka to often and food is my obsession again. I feel like this cycle will never end!

Treatment is not available to me at this time, I have no insurance. My family doesnt understand. They think I should just suck it up and snap out of it. I dont want to go back to the person I was then. But Im scared thats where Im headed.

Kristi

Krisiti,
My best advice is to RUN, not walk, to the next AA meeting in your area.  Your local phone book has a 1-800 number to call to find out where all the meetings are.  The fellowship of AA will embrace you and take care of you if you are willing to go to ANY lengths to stay sober.  It may just save your life and your sanity.  It did mine.

Hugs

In addition to AA - call your local MHMR - they probably offer free counseling and treatment.

I urge you to get to an AA meeting, get a sponsor, and make tons of phone calls.  Read the AA Big Book, which is available online, and pray.  Work the steps and you will see that recovery and sobriety are possible.

Hugs,
Trish

Kristi,

Boy I know how you feel especially about how your family feels.  When I got hooked on Tussinex my dad was like how can you get hooked on cough syrup, (JERK).

Anyway, yes, please go to any AA mtg near you.  I go to AA mtgs. here around me they are just as good for narcotics as alcohol.

I'm praying for you girl, please learn from me before you get into trouble and have to be on probation, jail or loose you baby...

Look at that precious daughter and know that God blessed you with her to help you with your addiction....  I'm praying for you and stick with this board.  I like you was so glad I found it.  I wish I would have had it before I got into trouble and on Probation.  Gastric Bypass does change us, but some of us have a chemical imbalance in our brain, we don't ask to become addicted and we don't have any intention for it to happen to us, it just does because of our body chemistry.  It is herditary sp? 

God Bless you, I'm praying for you....  BTW what did you name your wonderful daughter?

 

Kristi,

Check your e-mail here on obesity, I just sent you one, we have something in common, Scot****son did my surgery also....

Hugs.

Good am Kristi,

First, congrats on being sober since 5th April. :) Next, know that you are NOT alone. As has been suggested by replies previous to mine seek help NOW. There is help even when you don't have insurance. Contact your local mental health agency & arm yourself with knowledge/information. I know about the "suck it up" deal from others. I hear you loud and clear and I'm almost 18 months sober and I STILL think about drinking.

You are reaching out for help here. Please reach out locally & keep us posted. PM me if you'd like to talk.