heartbroken

  Today, I have to admit that I am an alchoholic.  I have tried on my own to handle it but I continue to fail.  I've been praying a lot but still last night, I binged.  When I drink, I end up in the arms of men I don't know and can't remember.  I'm so ashamed.  I have a wonderful husband who loves me and if he ever knew, it would kill him.  Even now, I think, what if he reads this somehow.  I should keep my secrets hidden.  I can't lie anymore.  I am planning to attend an aa meeting tonight.  Please pray that I have the courage to go.

You have taken the first step - you had admitted that you are an alcoholic. We can not handle it on our own - we have to have help.
Shame is a natural emotion - but one that can keep you from the best feeling in life - which is sobriety.
Go to that meeting and find a way to tell your husband that you are an alcoholic and you need his help and support.
A