lowest point?

I'm not sure if this is my lowest point....but if it isn't......it's pretty damn close!

I broke down with my kids today after a guy I saw a couple of times, told me he wished I didn't drink so much.  He barely knows me but abviously knows I have a problem.  I went to a neighbors to get more alcohol because I ran out and needed to get thru the night.

I'm so messed up I can't even type it all into this post.  I lost the love of my life, not because of alcohol, but I was stupid.  Which weighs on me, wishing I could have that back.  My oldest is flunking 7th grade because of my alcohol.  I don't even know where to start.  I don't know how to end....I don't know what to do.  I know I can't go into treatment for 30 days.  My kids need me!  And they hate their dad and would hate me if they had to stay with him for a month. 

I have to work in the morning...in 6 hours.  So I won't be reading anything posted to me.  IDK  I guess I just wanted to vent and see if anyone else shared my pain. 

I'm so afraid of losing my grip.....but I already have....now what?????  I'm a total mess today....hopefully tomorrow will b better.  I doubt it.

 They wont hate you if u send them to their dads for a month to get well... its a disease would they hate u if u had cancer an needed to go to get well from that.. they will love an respect u more for caring enough about them to take the time to get well... just tell them u love them enough to put them first in ur life an get better for them... it will help u be a closer family that lil time apart remember absence makes the heart grow fonder... an really even u said its for the best ur one child is flunking school because of u... get them to their dads witha  good explaination of how long u will be gone an why ur going an that u hate leaving them but its for their best interest that u cant be a good mommy in the state ur in... Get Help at all cost... even if they dont understand now they will when they are older.... better 30days with dad then life time with alcoholic mom....

~Peg
10yrs sober Feb. 5th

Ditto on what the previous person said about your kids..

You have taken the first steps and realized you have a problem.. NOW work on it..

I will be 14 years on January 1 and believe me it is a daily struggle..

DITTO what Peg said hun.. YOU have to give them the mom that they deserve.  BUT you have to work on YOU before you can give them that.

GO GET THE HELP THAT IS OUT THERE TO GET.  YOU DESERVE IT!!

If a guy you only went out with a couple times see it... so do the kids who live with you.  Kids are sooo smart and will learn from your example.

I myself went thru the same.. having to have a drink to get me thru situations.  It only progresses and gets worse.  Once dealt with.. I learned to face feelings again.  Sometimes wishing I could numb feelings.. but realizing that normal people get thru them without it and I wanted to also.

LIFE is soooo much better not having to face that monkey on my back.. I'm worth being sober for.. and you are too hun..   don't be afraid to face it .  It will get uglier if you don't... that I promise!!

sober 2 years.. 11/06

I echo the things that have been said, but can offer you some options that might be worth exploring.  Most rehabs offer Intensive Outpatient Programs (IOP), which involve group sessions several times a week.  I went through one this past fall.  You could explore going inpatient to detox, that takes a few days, and then enter the IOP.  I suggest you get to a rehab for a detox and talk to the admissions department about IOP.  I also suggest you get to an AA meeting today.  Look up Alcoholics Anonymous on Google and find a meeting in your area. 
Feel free to PM me if you have any questions about IOP or AA.

Hugs,
Trish

Thank you!  You just answered my next question about detox.  I wondered how long that is if you do go inpatient for that.

 

 

You are most welcome...generally it takes 3-4 days to physically get the alcohol out of the body.  The rest of rehab, both in and outpatient, is for the psychological/mental recovery.  I did not need inpatient for anything, because I am a binge/spree drinker.  I benefitted greatly from the IOP I was in.  It was three nights a week, for two and a half hours a night.  Now, I am in a weekly group, one and a half hour. 

I recommended detox because I don't know how much or how long you have been drinking.  I do know it is very dangerous to detox without medical supervision, if you are drinking a great deal of alchol, and have been doing so for a long time.  Only you can tell.

Good luck, and feel free to PM me if you need to talk.

Hugs,
Trish