Loss of my friend......

I don't post here alot, but this is the right place for this.  Two days ago I lost my friend to a heroin overdose.  She was only 26.  We met in rehab this past June.  I have watched her struggle.  She was in and out of the program, mostly out, but when she was in she tried really hard.  While I have remained sober and will be coming up on 6 months, watching her do what she was doing hurt me.  It was almost as if she had a death wish.  I can't begin to imagine the struggle to come off drugs, but I know how hard it is to get and stay sober.  I am very sad for her and her family.  I've spoken with my sponsor several times in the last two days and I think I have a better understanding of the whole addiction cycle.  It really sucks.  I've reached out to her mother, *****members me from rehab.  Her heart is broken.  To bury your own child must be heartwrenching.  I will heal from this, but it is just so sad. 

Kathy, I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend. I know how hard it is to watch someone you care about fight the battle against self-destruction. Be proud of your sobriety! It's NOT easy, and takes courage to fight these demons every day.  I'll pray for your friends family and for her soul. I wish YOU continued success! :)

Big Hugs,
Marie

Kathy,
My heart goes out to you, and your friend's mother.  I have been to drug addicts' funerals, and they are so painful for the families involved. 

Heroin is a real killer.  My son lost a high school friend to heroin, in their senior year of high school.  My other son had his own heroin addiction for several years, did the rehab thing for a while, and now drinks.  I get sick at times, thinking of the depths he sunk to at times,, including a night in prison.

Work your program and focus on your Higher Power.  Surround yourself with women from the program, and lean on them. 

Hugs,
Trish

Thank you ladies.  Your encouragement and support mean alot to me.  I am working my program, really hard these past few days, and am comforted by the support I have received from my women friends.  I guess I'm just feeling so sad.  I cannot attend her funeral tomorrow as I will be taking a license exam and I'm hoping I can just concentrate enough to pass.

remember what the big book says, that work with another alcoholic will work when all else fails.  get out of yourself and try to help others, be it old timers or new timers or someone off the streets.  this will help to take your mind off your loss.  so sorry about your friend, proud of u for your 6 months.

vickie o.     20 1/2 yrs sober

Thank you Vicki.  You're right, I need to get out of my head and do something else.  At this morning's meeting we had a newcommer.  I think I will call her this afternoon and see how her first day is going.  My network of friends have been very helpful.  Of course, since I can never just have one thing going on.......my father in law had a stroke yesterday and I'll probably be at the hospital most of the day/night until we know the extent of his stroke.  Kathy

Kathy, you hang in there and if u need to talk pm me.  you sound like u have a good attitude and want to work for a wonderful sobriety.  love, vick

Kathy,
I know all to well how badly this hurts.  My husband died from related issued from addiction 10 years ago next May.  We had been together for 6 years, met in recovery, and he was back out in addiction.  He left rehab early and died of a mixed drug intoxication the very day he was supposed to graduate from Rehab.
My heart goes out to you and her family. Herione is hell to quit, I have known so many who have tried and succeeded, but also many who have ended up back out in addictoin over and over again.
One thing I know for sure, there is no rhyme or reason to addiction.  It is does not play favorites, or choose only one class of people.  It wants to destroy and will do so if given any opportunity at all.  Unfortunately, the physical death almost seems more merciful at times than the emotional, mental, and spiritual death that those in active addiction suffer.  I am not in any way saying it was a good thing, I am simply saying watching someone in the throws of active addiction brings so many different emotions, especially if you have been as close as you two where.
I pray you and her family find peace and I pray that your recovery brings you joy that is boundless.
Love
Trish