Frustrated inside

I have some problems.

My weight and addiction to food. Some days I wish there were such a place for food addictions like there are drug and alcohol rehabs. I've always felt like I need to be locked away somewhere. I don't know how to deal with myself. I get very frustrated especially when I think or feel denied. I also get very defensive. When I get cravings I don't know how to deal with them.

I also think I have a gambling addiction. I'm getting pay day loans, strretching myself out too thin. I have one bank account that I owe $1030. too. Another one I owe $298 on. A credit card that is maxed out. I just got done paying off my Paypal account so it doesn't keep adding over the limit bank fees to my $1030 bank account. I also have an $795 payday loan account due December 4th. When I go gambling I'm there for a a long time sometimes more than 8hrs just trying to get my money back or make some to pay off what I owe. I also got myself into trouble with playing online games for cash.

I also pull my hair compulsively. I distract myself by making jewelry and rosary beads but when I'm jus****ching tv or trying to go to sleep I pull my hair. Sometimes I'm aware I am pulling my hair and other times I'm not till someone says something to me.

So what do I do? Keep trying to ignore my problems or figure out a way to deal with them. I want to be healthy. i've had the surgery, but I'm gaining my weight back.

My Mom's told me she's had 2 dreams about me recently. Both involve me getting really sick again like I was pre surgery and dying. Before they bury me she's crying telling people to just turn my oxygen on and I'll come back.. She feels she's been warned and that I am at risk. I know I am but I don't know how to help myself unless I'm in a supervised environment.

Marilyn W.

I was recently in an inpatient program for an eating disorder and it sounds to me that you should consider something like this.  The hair and money issues are all related and it really sounds like you need help.  Consider contacting a good program that may be able to help you.  It really gave me my life back.  Blessings on your journey.

Thanks Matilda. i've been afraid to talk to my doctor but I know I need too. I'd be happy just to have a life at this point.

There are inpatient eating disorder treatment facilities.  Ask your family doctor to recommend one.  I did Intensive Outpatient Programs for eating disorders twice prior to my surgery. 

There are also 12 step programs for gambling and shopping.  One is Gamblers Anonymous, the other is Debtors Anonymous. 

Have you started individual psychotherapy?  I recommend it.  I have been in therapy for decades.  It has helped me tremendously.

Good Luck,
Trish

Big hugs.  Good news!  There is help out there.  You don't have to live this way. 

I have a diagnosis of obsessive compulsive disorder along with anxiety and depression.  Oh, and I'm a recovering alcoholic and DEFINITELY have issues with food.

I've been in AA for the alcohlism and it's been a Godsend.  But what's REALLY made the most difference has been working with a therapist on getting to the underlying cause of ALL these issues.  Because my behaviors are just symptoms of  the same underlying cause.

Wow that hair thing - you may not be able to tell this from my photo, but I obsessively rip the split ends out of my hair - constantly.  If I'm still and awake, I'm ripping my hair up.  It's just a compulsive behavior.  You should see the seat in my car - covered in hair.  I have to get frequent trims because I really mess my hair up that way.  It's just a manifestation of anxiety - compulsive behavior. 

My therapist helps me be more AWARE of my actions instead of being a slave to the compulsions.  I have some silly little exercises I do to stop the broken record when I get to yanking my hair, or shoving food in my mouth.  They make me laugh but they help.

Reach out for some help.  Gambling Anonymous is a really good start.  Checking into treatment programs can't hurt anythign either. 

Hang in there and let us know how you're doing - we're rooting for you!

Hugs,
Michelle

I realized I forgot shopping too. Thanks for all your comments. I have done some research on eating disorder clinics online. I feel like I need a good inpatient program to deal with what's bugging me.

Good for you for making the start.  I hope that in addition to the inpatient program, you look into a good, licensed psychotherapist.  The inpatient program will just scratch the surface and get you started.  All of the people I know who did inpatient or outpatient eating disorders treatment had ongoing therapy afterward.

Good luck.  Do keep us posted on your progress.

Hugs,
Trish

there is also overeaters anoymous.  u need help quickle,don[t wait.  good luck.