Took a longer look at my actions today...

..and I realize taht I've been relapsing a lot longer than I thought. Today in fact, I didn't shop, but I baked a cake. (note to self to never use silicone pans again) It stuck in the pan, I got pissed, and ate a slice. Tasted great but the pan is in the trash where it belongs.

Steve is starting a new job once he's licensed to be a finanical planner, and I've made a committment to get out of debt. I cant' stand the two albatrosses around my neck anymore and I'm so worried about IF I can ever afford to retire, that I finally pulled my head out of my ass and figured if I don't start planning for it, I'm screwing myself over faster than G.W. Bush ever could. So I'm working within a budget (might damn near kill me) and plan on being debt free in about 10 yrs. That I can live with.

Scary thing about the eating and binging is that I dont' dump like I used to a year ago. I can tolerate sugary junk and fatty foods AT TIMES. It depends on how often I eat badly...I've made a conscious effort to stock my fridge with high protein foods and stuff I tolerate well that's good for me. I wonder why I've such a cavalier attitude about food now? I did this to save my life, so why am I playing with fire here? I KNEW with alcohol I had to leave it behind if I watned to live.  All I can say is thank God I've a counselling appt coming up soon.

Have a great day today!
Marie

Hey there.  I have been baking too.  I have an easy recipe for shortbread where I use Splenda sugar blend and I have been eating those darn things when I get a carb craving.  Problem is the butter content is horrible. 

I am hoping to get my bankruptcy completed someday soon.  Then, the budgeting will be tighter than ever.  I just hope I can get through the holidays this year. 

Well, I am empathizing big time with you.  All we can do is take it one day at a time, and keep putting one foot in front of the other.  Work on being baking free and staying in your budget one day at a time. 

Huggles,
Trish