Not really an addictive personality... addicted nonetheless

I've seen addiction, and it's not pretty.  My dad was addicted - to alcohol, drugs, sex, whatever... So considering him as the "addiction" model, I've never considered my own personality addictive.  I have prided myself on control - refused to be like him.  Having said that, I am now realizing I may have inherited more than I thought. I'm currently in the process of scheduling Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy (my BMI is 42.5) for late January, and really need to quit smoking prior to my surgery.  As I was trying to figure out how to do this, since I've smoked for over half my life, I began to realize that I'm just like him:  my addictions are only food and cigarettes, while his were even more destructive, so I never thought that I was like him.  I've read post after post about transferring addiction (I have gotten pretty fanatic about exercise in the past, but didn't keep it up), so I think with the proper tool, I can get past the FOOD issue, but I can't even begin to address smoking.  So... all you veterans out there... any ideas?

BTW, I realize that many on this forum may consider my issues to be rather petty, but having seen all the support you provide for each other on really serious issues, I thought I'd give it a try.

Deanna - your issues are NOT petty. This is a most serious issue. Many people die needlessly from tobacco use and it is STILL sold in corner stores, marketed to children (as the older users of their products are... um... well... *dying*...) and the addictive substance in tobacco (nicotine) is hawked in the form of pill, patch, inhaler, water, gum, you name it. 

It is a revolving door - chances are you will go back to each many many times. It's win-win for BOTH Big Tobacco and the drug companies. Not so much for you, since percentages don't lie - most people die before they keep their quits... UNLESS you learn the whys and hows and just STOP. Stop using your addicitive substance.  As you can imagine, a shot of whiskey here and there to avoid "the horrors of withdrawal" is completely ineffective for an alcoholic to do in order to become sober. By the same token, neither is using any form of nicotine. EVER.

Deanna, you are addicted to the most addictive substance on the face of the earth, and THAT, my dear, is not something to take lightly or feel embarrassed about asking for help for.

I have been quit 7 years this past July, and attribute it to the wisdom and education I received at www.whyquit.com.

Please please please visit the above site and its accompanying message boards and read read read until you feel powerful about becoming smarter than your addiction, because you can never be stronger.... One = ALL.

I wish you well, and if you want to contact me, my email is: [email protected].

Good luck. You can do this and you are worth it.

Diana

Diana:  Thanks so much for not minimizing my concerns!  You're right - I have tried the patches, and it just didn't work for me.  Friends of mine who smoke look at me like I'm crazy when I talk about quitting - "cold turkey" is a scary thing, but I'm not sure I can do it any other way.  I appreciate the positive support and I will definitely visit the website!

You are more than welcome. Maybe you will become that person that helps them through their  quit when they see how well you are doing. I have coached no less than 12 people IRL through a successful quit. Including my own mom, who smoked for over fifty years. ;)

And the offer to contact me still stands. Sometimes it helps to have someone in your corner that can help on both fronts. :)

Diana

Hey there,
No addiction is petty.  If it causes you health problems and you desire to quit it, then your desire to end your addiction to nicotine warrants the same support and respect as any other addiction. 

I have not smoked cigarettes, so I am not an expert on quitting that, but I can share what I have learned from others who have kicked it.  Before I do that, I must share a few things about kicking any addiction. 

1.  It may rear its ugly head again.  Relapse with any addiction is more common than not.  Nicotine is the most addictive substance there is.  Most people I know who quit, tried and failed several times before kicking it for good.  You are trying to change habits that are deeply engrained, and breaking old habits is like trying to swim upstream in a flood.

2. Keep trying to quit.  Don't give up on yourself if you should relapse with it.  Recovery demands persistence and fortitude.  Keep on starting over.  Discouragement will try to beat you down and get you to give up on yourself.  Don't let it win.

Suggestions for how some people I know quit:

Some friends I know have had great success with Chantix.  It is a prescription drug that your family doctor can prescribe.

A professor in grad school quit by regularly attending Narcotics Anonymous meetings.  In NA, they use the 12 steps of recovery as outlined in AA.  In NA, they say the only requirement for membership is the desire to quit your addiction.  You get to define your addiction.

Some people I know have weaned themselves off the cigarettes.  Tapering off has been sucessful for many of my relatives.

My sister went to a hypnotist.  It worked for her.

These are a few of the things that I know have worked for different people I know.

Good luck.

Hugs,
Trish

I smoked for almost 15 years and quit  20 years ago. When I smoked, my O/C personality got me up to 3.5 packs a day. At  today's prices I'd need another mortgage to fund my habit. It got so bad that my whole family smelled like cigarettes. I couldnt' walk up even THREE steps without needing to catch my breath...I chain-smoked. I lost my taste for everything...my lungs were straining with every breath. I'm also diabetic and was overweight at the time so I wasn't helping myself any.  At almost 4 packs a day, I had to stop...so I did.

I can't remember the date I stopped as I can iwth alcohol, but I survived on the premise that the physical addiction is gone after 72 hours. The emotional addiction is what relapses are all about. I HAD to be stong enough inside to beat this, and I did. It's amazing what you can do when you HAVE to. You CAN do this! :) Work the program and it'll work for you!

Hugs,
Marie

Hi there!

Your concerns are certainly not petty.  Addiction is addiction - be it food, drugs, alcohol, sex, shopping, caffeine, or cigarrettes.  It's difficult to quit - I know - I've done it a few times in my life.  My longest period fo abstinence was 10 years.  I like to consider myself an expert on quitting things - haha.  An expert quitter - that sounds funny.  As I've dealt with addictions in life - first cigarrettes, then food, then alcohol, then cigs again, I have realized that there are some underlying issues that make me reach for external "soothing" mechanisms.  I'm finally beginning to deal with THOSE issues. I gotta tell you - my quit this time has been a BREEZE.  I think it's because I'm dealing with ME - not just the substance.

I know lots of people who have quit successfully.  I did it cold turkey each time - moderation with anything just doesn't work for me.  I too am very controlled and not necessarily the addictive personality per se - but I *AM* the addictable person.  If that makes any sense :)

Others I know have used patches, gum, weaning, chantix and hypnosis.  All to varying degrees of success.

My best advice - don't overthink it.  That's just sneaky addiction time buying.  Your body wants to smoke.  Your brain is gonna weasel out another day of smoking by any means necessary.  Find a support group (there are many online) if you benefit from such things.  And MOST IMPORTANT - just make a mental note that it is only going to be horrible for about 4 days.  Then uncomfortable, then just a little uncomfortable until finally - one day you will realize you have not thought of a smoke today.

Oh yeah - and just trick yourself each day.  Say, "self - I'm not going to smoke just for today.  maybe tomorrow I'll smoke, maybe not.  But TODAY - no cigs." (then do that tomorrow)

Best of luck becoming a quitter!

love and light,
Michelle

Many thanks to all of you!  I have been poring over the whyquit website, and start my road to nonsmoking freedom tomorrow (I want the easy 8-sleep-hour head start on the 72-hour withdrawal).  I've read messages all over this site that talk about head hunger vs. physical hunger and have decided that if I'm to be successful battling head hunger after my VSG, I can certainly start by battling the head hunger for nicotine!  Pray hard!  By tomorrow, I'll also be saying, "Never take another puff!"

Deanna,

I can relate and you are not being petty. Congrats for taking the bull by the horns and stopping.

I too come from a family of addiction, my father and brother for the most part. Mother is extremely neurotic, OCD, paranoia, etc..... so I too have made myself be 'above' that and not allow myself to fall into it.

Well, its easier said than done, but at least I can still see myself and catch myself before I slide too far into anything; but hang in there.

Be true to yourself!