Cat Herding 101
Let's see who can relate... I lost the weight... alcoholism kicked in full swing along with some eating disordered/bulemic tendencies... lost too much weight.... down to 100 lbs... got ulcers... stopped drinking/vomiting... got up to 130-135 (good weight for me).. maintained. got sober... started smoking again... started up unhealthy relationship with another alcoholic... relapsed... got sober... ended sick relationship.... started grad school.... stopped smoking ...... gained 11 lbs.... wishing for the puking and ulcers again.
Oh and did I mention that I have begun a not so innocent flirtation with yet another fella - he's not addicted (hardly drinks at all) or anything - so THAT is good. But I can honestly see me wrapping him around my finger and doing the classic Michelle manipulipation dance... I have this rather sick desire to make sure I get feedback from the male sex regarding my desirability.
Now boys and girls THAT is the definition of insanity.
I refer to my life as herding 30 feral cats in a cowpen. Two cats get out. I go get those two, and while gone, another 4 get out... So I go get those 4 while another 10 get out etc etc. I long for balance.
This small weight gain (perfectly normal for people who stop smoking from what my dr says) has me on a very scary slope. My "stinking thinking" is kicking in. It's when I became aware that I WANTED to either purge or abstain from food all together that I realized I'm still a pretty sick puppy. So. I'm NOT going to freak out. I'm not going to do anything drastic with the food issue. What I *am* going to do is take a walk today. What I *am* going to do is stay away from the cookies today. JUST TODAY. It worked for the smoking like a charm. It worked for the break up. That "design for living" that I've learned in the fellowship of AA really DOES work for most all problems I face.
I'm just affirming. I'm just letting you guys know that I'm still nutty as a Snickers bar. And I'm just telling on myself - getting my crazy thoughts OUT THERE to take away their power.
love and light,
Michelle
Oh and did I mention that I have begun a not so innocent flirtation with yet another fella - he's not addicted (hardly drinks at all) or anything - so THAT is good. But I can honestly see me wrapping him around my finger and doing the classic Michelle manipulipation dance... I have this rather sick desire to make sure I get feedback from the male sex regarding my desirability.
Now boys and girls THAT is the definition of insanity.
I refer to my life as herding 30 feral cats in a cowpen. Two cats get out. I go get those two, and while gone, another 4 get out... So I go get those 4 while another 10 get out etc etc. I long for balance.
This small weight gain (perfectly normal for people who stop smoking from what my dr says) has me on a very scary slope. My "stinking thinking" is kicking in. It's when I became aware that I WANTED to either purge or abstain from food all together that I realized I'm still a pretty sick puppy. So. I'm NOT going to freak out. I'm not going to do anything drastic with the food issue. What I *am* going to do is take a walk today. What I *am* going to do is stay away from the cookies today. JUST TODAY. It worked for the smoking like a charm. It worked for the break up. That "design for living" that I've learned in the fellowship of AA really DOES work for most all problems I face.
I'm just affirming. I'm just letting you guys know that I'm still nutty as a Snickers bar. And I'm just telling on myself - getting my crazy thoughts OUT THERE to take away their power.
love and light,
Michelle
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"God does not care about our mathmatecial difficulties - he integrates emperically!" - Albert Einstein
"God does not care about our mathmatecial difficulties - he integrates emperically!" - Albert Einstein
Hi Michelle,
I never thought of my life as cat herding. I saw it more as Whack-A-Mole, the game they play at arcades. I would tackle one behavior or addiction, and wham, another would rear its ugly head. The good news was that up until a year ago, I was becoming more stable and putting more time between the negative behaviors overall.
All I can say is what it says in "How It Works" progress not perfection. Just keep moving forward no matter what.
Hugs,
Trish
I never thought of my life as cat herding. I saw it more as Whack-A-Mole, the game they play at arcades. I would tackle one behavior or addiction, and wham, another would rear its ugly head. The good news was that up until a year ago, I was becoming more stable and putting more time between the negative behaviors overall.
All I can say is what it says in "How It Works" progress not perfection. Just keep moving forward no matter what.
Hugs,
Trish
Seek always to do some good, somewhere. Every man has to seek in his own way to realize his true worth. You must give some time to your fellow man. For remember, you don't live in a world all your own. Your brothers are here too.
Albert Schweitzer
Albert Schweitzer
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