Sad Event at IOP

I had a rather difficult time at IOP this evening.  When I got there, my therapist asked me to meet with her in her office privately during the lecture.  On my way back there, she was told of a problem in the parking lot, so I had to wait for her.  When she came back, it turns out that someone had been smoking marijuana in the parking lot, and the staff was running urines on everyone there.  I immediately got concerned because I had just come from the dentist where I had nitrous oxide and novacaine.  I told her up front of that, and went and peed in the cup.  I had to wait for all seven of us to pee and then she did the tests.  It turned out that there were two hot urines, and she immediately turned to the group to ask if anyone wanted to share something with the group.  It turned out that one young lady in group had been doing coke, twice in the past two weeks.  A new guy swore his urine came up dirty because of some meds he had been given in detox. 

Well, the group focused on the young lady, who was supposed to be discharged from group in a few days.  I was almost in tears because it brought back so many emotions for me.  Not only did I think of my own issues concerning my relapses, but also my son's struggles with heroin, and how it just broke my heart over and over to want his recovery more than he did. 

It also scared me because over the weekend, I was so tempted to drink.  I even told my therapist that if I were not in treatment, I was not sure I would be sober.  I am really afraid of relapsing once I finish treatment. 

Well, after we worked on the young lady's relapse issue, we discussed who was getting ready for their last day of treatment.  I was shocked to learn that my last day in IOP is next Thursday.  She asked me if I was interested in participating in the next level, which is once a week group.  I eagerly said if my insurance pays for it, I would definitely be interested in it.  She even said that I could possibly be in the same group as two members who are leaving group at the end of this week.  I hope that is possible, as I see these guys as brothers. 

So, I am rather emotional again tonight.  I would love to talk to my therapist, but it is too late to call him tonight.  I do see him on Friday, but it has been over two weeks since I saw him, and I am feeling kind of anxious.

I hope I have not bored you all with this.  I just needed to vent.  It is too late to call anyone in program about it, especially since I do not have any desire to drink right now.

Thanks,
Trish

Hi Tri****hink God sent you to me tonight. My name is Eileen and I am a recovering alcoholic. On Thursday, Nov 6 I will have 18 years clean and sober. On Nov. 24 I will undergo WLS and get the sleeve. I am scared to death of a lot of unknowns.... mostly what life will be like after surgery? Just like when I got sober - what will my life be like without being able to drink. Well in almost 18 years I know what that is like but it doesn't always help when it comes to this surgery. I know I have to do this but I am scared.

I could sure use a buddy and maybe in return I can help you with your journey in AA. I work in a hospital based Detox in New Jersey and I am so acutely aware of the pain and heart ache addiction causes....and now I am facing it again with myself.

Thank you for being on OH and for your posts. I'd like to add you as a friend....and maybe we will meet someday " as we travel the road to happy destiny. May God Bless you and Keep you until then."

Sister in Soberity,
Eileen

Hi Eileen,
Congratulations on your long term sobriety.  That is awesome.  I have been in AA for nineteen years, but am dually diagnosed, and have struggled most of those years.  My longest time sober was over 8 years.  I also put together over 6 years before my relapse last December, that started a year of slipping and sliding.

I am honored that you consider me a friend in sobriety.  What is neat is that my sister's name is Eileen and she is hoping to have lap band surgery at Jeanes Hospital in Philadelphia next week.  Right now she is being jerked around by her Horizon Blue Cross Insurance in New Jersey.  She works for the state of New Jersey, but lives here in PA.

From what I can tell, you are in South Jersey.  That is not that far from me.  I am just northeast of Philly, right across the Burlington Bristol Bridge.

Take care.
Hugs,
Trish

Hi Eileen,

I'm sober 21 years now. Like you, we're sober long before the surgery happens. I too was worried. Not that I'd drink, but of the "what ELSE will I trade this for"?? I got interested in addiction transfer before my surgery date, trying to protect myself with as much information and knowledge as I could. My addiction transfered to shopping and baking. I no longer bake most days per week anymore, but I'm still shopping WAY too much! I'm working on that now, trying to work my program on that as well as cutting the urges off at the pass so to speak.

There are other very constructive addictions  we can focus on instead of the ones that do us harm. I will admit that I haven't fallen back in love with exercise just yet, but I'm looking at my life a lot more realistically now. I'm learning WHY I act out in certain ways and what I'm really 'saying and doing when I do. Self-awareness is an amazing journey.

Good luck with your surgery. I'm confident you'll do well. If you need any help, we'll be here for you! Feel free to PM me at any time!

Hugs,
Marie