Another cast iron b*tch of a week....

My cat of 11 years was at the vet and very sick for over a week....he was about ready to come home as he'd turned a corner...or so we thought. He passed away almost a week ago and I can't seem to get past it. I'd come home every night and he'd be at the door...in my lap, in our bed and just the best friend you could have.

Then my 91 y.o. aunt fell and will be in the hospital six weeks with an immobilized knee. She might lose her apartment in the assisted living facility because she'll be out of there too long. Not really my headache as I'm not responsible party for her, but a concern just the same.

I truly hate my job and don't even care that I HAVE one. I'd almost rather be forced to look for another at this point. NOT smart in this economy...My level of apathy is actually scaring me right now. I'm thinking maybe I'm just depressed??

Going to temple makes me happy and at peace, so I'm going weekly. My marriage is not really in the best of spots all around and that's got me worried..right now I'm feeling life is NOT on my side. The ONE thing I know I won't do is drink. But all my other vices are primed and ready to fire. We fly out on Friday to Toronto for a wedding. I have to take the days off unpaid since I don't have any time left, so that's a burden...not to mention the gift, the hotel, airfare, rental car and food while there. The vet bill cost me close to 5 GRAND and I miss my boy more than anything.

Marie

Hey Sweetie,
You are going through an emotional wringer, and I am not sure I could get through what you are experiencing without drinking.  Try to take a breather and meditate, or pray, or just breath. 

I am so sorry to hear about your kitty.  I know how I felt when I lost my dog and cat just before my divorce.  It devastated me to no end. 

Hang in there.  You are strong and can endure.  Take strength in your faith.  That is what the steps are all about.

Hugs,
Trish

HI Marie -

I know how you feel about your kitty.  I lost my best friend of 15 years this August.  He was pooping in the hall closet and had been sick and going downhill for some time, so it was time to say goodbye.  I had mixed feelings about it.  I miss him terribly, but I do not miss having to clean up after him every time I turn around.  This sounds cold, but adopting another fur baby is the best way to deal with the pain.  Your old friend would love for you to open your heart & home to another animal that needs you.  You never stop missing them, but there are so many homeless pets out there that need us.

If it's any consolation, I am totally out of sick & vacation time too.  My boss would rather have me take an entire day off when I have a doctor appointment than have me come in late.  I just took 2 days off for a 4-month post-op follow-up visit and a colonoscopy.  I don't get paid for those 2 days.  Meanwhile, the bills for my parents' 50th wedding anniversary party and my bathroom remodel are coming due.  Sigh.  I just have to have faith that God will take care of me.

I'm glad that your faith is keeping you keep your peace and serenity.  I hope you enjoy yourself at the wedding.  And remember - you don't have to drink over any of this!

Sigh...today in the mail I got a magazine from my vet's office that said...It's time for VELVET'S next appointment. :( But there's an article on 'when a pet passes'. I'll be reading that first. I too, miss him terribly, but NOT the fur all over the house, my clothes, the furniture...we had enough fuzz in teh vaccuum to make another cat once a week!! And he was a shorthair!! I just wnat to know that he didn't suffer at the very end. I know he was very sick beforehand.

Thanks for your post to this...I'll be back to check out the board on Tuesday...just in time to vote!!

Marie