I can't believe what that fuking Doctor said to me....

First off I don't have any insurance or medicaid. I have to pay cash out of my pocket for any care. Well when I went to the doctor yesterday. He said my swallowing test came back good. Well that made me happy. I ask him could I have had a mini strok bacause my arm was but not now was hurting and I couldn't swallow. And had a bad head ake in my left eye. He had the MFing nerve to say. I want to send you to the hospital. I knew he would say that so I had a bag packed in the car ready to go. Well I said I had got my weight up 10 lbs. Then this happen and it is dangour low. He got all pissy and didn't believe I had put on any weight. I flet like once a anorexic always labled as a anorexic. Then he said what insurance do you have. I said none. He said well I'm not sending you to the hospital I am not going to run up  a bill for someone I know want pay it. OH MY LORD... He said you could of had a heart attack or could of had a strok your chlestrol was so high in August. Well I didn't know it. He said we mailed it in the mail. I don't think I got it my short memory is fuked up but I think i would remember that. He said you should of had filled out a envelope with your address on it. I din't think I did. I am pretty sure I didn't. But I said any how. How high was it. He said it is high. I knwo that how bad. He said what are you eating. I said nothing, Sometime I eat and then Sometime I don't. I told him I mostly eat healthy choice dinners. He said wo do you drink. I said wate and chrystal light. And only one cup of coffee a day. And most of the time I eat one time a day. How in the hell can my chlestrol be so high for one one 100 lbs. don't eat have high chlestrol. So he wrote my 2 scripts from the walmart $4 list from that for acid reflux. He said it would help the swallowing. So I was so mad. Thank god I had enough to pay for my bill there. I felt so poor and like **** ant upder his feet. So now I am scared to eat today. I got to get my chelstrol down. All my family has had a strok or heart attack before they was 40 and I am 44. My mom died at 43 so I have out lived her. But thay all was overweight or somked. I am none of them. I am going to get some cerial I seen on T.V. that lowers chelstol. I hate milk of any kind. So I will eat it dry a few times a day to see if I can get it down. So I will be on the scope of my weight even falling. I will be back or worse like it was 2 years ago when I got down to 88lbs. And My gastric bypass doctor send me in for TPN fulids. If I head down that road again I will go and see him if he will see me with no insruance or not. If not I will just go to the E.R. where he does his **** and he has to see me. A E.R. can't turn you down for health care. Insurance or not they can't. You might get treated like **** but they gotta do it. So if it comes to that I have my game plan. If I get Tpn's I know I will gain weight. They can load them boys in some high ass calories in them and pump me up big time. A nerse told me they could keep me liveing on them forever and I would not go so far down in weight. So I know they can keep me living. As for the heart attack or strok. If it happns I will go to the E.R. here and they gotta see me too. So if this keep happens and I can't swallow and if I pass out again I will go there. And he said as going in the change of life. That I have probley have been going through it for a long time and I can just keep going through it and he didn't give me **** for it. And he said as for me not sleeping. I am up 24/7. He said that is for my Phych doctor to deal with. Go and tell her. I told her before I seen him. So I guess I will just stay my ass up all the damn time. I am so fuked. Like I said over and over. I don't want to die I want to stay with my best friends my children. They are the only thing that keeps me living. All I gotta do is keep my head up and try. Sorry this was so long. I am just so pissed off. I never thought I would be treated like this. I worked at a health department for 15 years with people with no insruance or nothing. We seen every walk of life. I never once treated any any different. I am poor so I got along with all of them that came in. Hell I knew most of them. I worked with Prego wome and babies and children up to 5 years old. And most of the prago wome was friends of my Children. Oh well. Hope that doctor slept well last night. He would always grab aroud me and pray for me. He has bibles and crosses in his office. He didn't even shake my hand. Well enough on what is happening with boney ass old me. I am a strong woman I know I can kick this **** in the ass. I will prove his ass wrong. I am going to do anything I gotta do to gain some weight. I want to be 115. So I got alot of work to do. I gotta stay away from the weed. Don't want to go down that road again. I have been blunt free for a few months now. LOL I should wright a book. Be good or be good at it. Love you all. Thanks for listening to me ramble on.
Amy

Sorry that you had such a bad experience with this doctor. I have high cholestorol and triglycerides, too and I can't take the medications they normally prescribe to lower them. What my doctor and nutritionist recommended was to take Omega-3 Fish Oil and 500 mg of Niacin a day... you can buy these supplments in bulk pretty inexpensively.

Also, starvation can raise your cholesterol levels... your body makes cholesterol on it's own, you don't actually get it directly from anything you eat. So, when you're not eating enough it can sometimes stimulate your body to produce more cholesterol. My docs recommended that I eat several small meals a day (around 100 calories each) and my lab results have been improving ever since. It would alsp probably help you manage any recurrence of your anorexia and any other malnutrition issues you've been having.

It sucks not having insurance and having to pay out of pocket. I've been there and I know how badly some health care professionals can treat you... don't let them!! If you can, try to get another doctor who is more sympathetic and will work out payment terms with you. You deserve respect and proper treatment regardless of your income level!!