My turn to update
Hey Everyone,
I have been so busy this week, I have not had the chance to get into much trouble. Monday night I had a doctor's appointment for a chronic earache. I then went home to watch my Eagles lose to the Cowboys. Tuesday was Back to School Night at work. Wednesday, I went to a mentoring meeting with some women at church. Thursday I was at a Bible study. Friday I did some grocery shopping and tried to clean. Saturday, I went to my therapist's and then a baby shower, and did some more cleaning. Today, I went to church, and am now doing more cleaning. I need to catch my breath.
Anywho, I did manage to get my buttocks to two AA meetings during the week, but I could really use more. I still have the urge to drink.
My therapy is really getting more and more difficult, as I deal more with being open and vulnerable about my feelings. I am so used to acting out and numbing out, that I never really opened up and dealt with the deepest feelings in therapy. Now, it is so darned hard, because I feel ashamed and embarassed by how I feel, and have so much trouble talking about them in my sessions.
After my session yesterday, I just wanted to buy a bottle and get drunk. Fortunately, I had to be at a baby shower right after my session, so I was able to be distracted by that. So, I now want to get drunk, rather than deal with how I feel. Plus, and this is the added bonus. If I get drunk, or act out, I can then avoid dealing with my feelings in therapy and talk about the acting out/drunken episode instead. How is that for insanity?
Needless to say, I am one sick alcoholic.
I just had to let you all know where I am at.
In the meantime, I do have a lot to be grateful for. My kids are healthy and they love me. I have family here that I can depend on and share my joys and sorrows with. I have two jobs that I love, well, one I love and one I am enjoying for now. I am healthy, except for my darn allergies which cause me some misery right now. I was able to go to church today and worship and fellowship with some friends.
Sorry to babble. I just had to share what's happening with me this week.
Huggles and love,
Trish
I have been so busy this week, I have not had the chance to get into much trouble. Monday night I had a doctor's appointment for a chronic earache. I then went home to watch my Eagles lose to the Cowboys. Tuesday was Back to School Night at work. Wednesday, I went to a mentoring meeting with some women at church. Thursday I was at a Bible study. Friday I did some grocery shopping and tried to clean. Saturday, I went to my therapist's and then a baby shower, and did some more cleaning. Today, I went to church, and am now doing more cleaning. I need to catch my breath.
Anywho, I did manage to get my buttocks to two AA meetings during the week, but I could really use more. I still have the urge to drink.
My therapy is really getting more and more difficult, as I deal more with being open and vulnerable about my feelings. I am so used to acting out and numbing out, that I never really opened up and dealt with the deepest feelings in therapy. Now, it is so darned hard, because I feel ashamed and embarassed by how I feel, and have so much trouble talking about them in my sessions.
After my session yesterday, I just wanted to buy a bottle and get drunk. Fortunately, I had to be at a baby shower right after my session, so I was able to be distracted by that. So, I now want to get drunk, rather than deal with how I feel. Plus, and this is the added bonus. If I get drunk, or act out, I can then avoid dealing with my feelings in therapy and talk about the acting out/drunken episode instead. How is that for insanity?
Needless to say, I am one sick alcoholic.
I just had to let you all know where I am at.
In the meantime, I do have a lot to be grateful for. My kids are healthy and they love me. I have family here that I can depend on and share my joys and sorrows with. I have two jobs that I love, well, one I love and one I am enjoying for now. I am healthy, except for my darn allergies which cause me some misery right now. I was able to go to church today and worship and fellowship with some friends.
Sorry to babble. I just had to share what's happening with me this week.
Huggles and love,
Trish
Seek always to do some good, somewhere. Every man has to seek in his own way to realize his true worth. You must give some time to your fellow man. For remember, you don't live in a world all your own. Your brothers are here too.
Albert Schweitzer
Albert Schweitzer
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